Bonus Chapter 39 #2
“Harlow made me realize I was never scared of commitment. I was scared of committing to the wrong person and waking up one day in a life that felt like a cage.” I met his eyes. “With her, it doesn’t feel like a cage. It feels like I’m home.”
Jax was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke, his voice was lower. “You know what pisses me off the most?”
“The lying.”
“The lying,” he confirmed. “Over fifteen fucking years of friendship and you couldn’t tell me about the most important thing that’s ever happened to you?”
The accusation hit me square in the chest. “You’re right.”
“I don’t want to be right. I want to understand.” He stepped closer, his face illuminated by the neon glow of a nearby casino. “Was it really just about my approval? Or were you ashamed?”
“What? No. God, no.” The thought hadn’t even occurred to me.
“Jax, I’ve never been ashamed of loving Harlow.
I was ashamed of betraying you, though.” I took a breath, forcing myself to be honest. “I was terrified of losing you, and I’d convinced myself that if I could just keep it quiet until I was sure, then when I finally told you, you’d see it too.
You’d see what I see when I look at her.
” I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry that you found out the way you did. ”
Jax looked away, his throat working. “Do you have any idea what that was like? Watching that video and realizing my best friend was sneaking around and lying to my face for months?”
“I know.”
“Then why didn’t you trust me?”
“Because I didn’t trust myself.” The admission came out raw.
“Every relationship I’ve ever had, I’ve fucked up.
Every single one, and this time, the stakes were so much higher because it wasn’t just about losing a girlfriend.
It was about losing your sister. Losing you.
Losing the only family I have.” I looked at him, needing him to understand.
“I kept it quiet because I was waiting to sabotage it. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the moment I’d do something to ruin it and prove that I was exactly who I’d always been. ”
Something in Jax’s expression shifted, and he was quiet for a moment. “If Kaia had been your sister. If someone told me I couldn’t have her...” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I would have burned the whole world down before I walked away from her.”
“Yeah.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m not pissed.”
“I know.”
“And it doesn’t mean I forgive you for lying.”
“I know that too.”
He turned to face me fully, and for the first time since the lobby, I saw past the anger to the fear underneath. “Are you going to hurt her?”
“Not intentionally, but I’m going to fuck up sometimes, because I’m human and I’m still figuring out how to do this.” I held his gaze. “But I love her enough to try and to keep trying, even when it’s hard.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“You’re right. It’s not.” I stepped closer.
“So here’s what I can promise you: I will choose her.
Every. Single. Day. When things are easy, when things are hard, when I’m angry or hurt or scared, I will choose her.
I will show up. I will do the work. I will love her with everything I have, and when that’s not enough, I’ll find more.
I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, but I can promise that she will never doubt that she is the most important thing in my life.
If I ever make her feel otherwise, you have my permission to remind me of this conversation in whatever way you see fit. ”
Jax stared at me for what felt like an eternity. Then, slowly, some of the tension bled from his shoulders.
“If you hurt her…” He looked away, his jaw working.
“I won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
“You’re right. I don’t.” I met his eyes. “But I know I’d rather die trying to make her happy than live without her, and I know that every day I get with her feels like something I don’t deserve, but I’m going to fight like hell to keep her anyway.”
Jax held my gaze for another minute, and then he nodded. Just once, but it was enough.
“Okay,” he said quietly.
“Okay?”
“Okay.” He let out a long breath. “I still think you’re an idiot.”
“I am an idiot.”
“But...” He paused, his throat working. “I believe you love her, and I believe you’ll try.” Another pause. “And I guess that’s going to have to be enough.”
“Does that mean you’re not going to throat punch me?”
“The night is young.” But there was humor in his tone now, buried under the residual frustration. “I’m still pissed. This doesn’t just go away because you made some big romantic speech.”
“I know.”
“But...” He took a breath, looking up at the Vegas sky. “I’m here. I got on a plane in the middle of the night with a baby because Kaia convinced me that Harlow needed me. That you needed me.” His jaw worked. “So I’m here.”
The relief that washed over me was almost physical. “Thank you.”
“Syn helped too,” he added, starting to walk back toward the hotel. “Told me I was being a stubborn ass and that I’d regret missing this for the rest of my life. She’s annoying but also right.”
I fell into step beside him, a smile tugging at my lips.
“For the record,” Jax continued, “if you ever keep something this big from me again, I will actually kill you. Like, legally premeditated murder. I’ll do the time.”
“Noted.”
We walked in silence for another moment, but it was different now. Easier.
“Hey, Owen?”
“Yeah?”
“Congratulations.” The word came out grudgingly, like it physically pained him to say it. “I hope you two are happy.”
My chest tightened. “Thanks, man. That means everything.”
“If you make her cry for any reason other than joy, I will personally ensure you never walk straight again.”
“Understood.”
We reached the hotel entrance, the automatic doors sliding open to welcome us back into the air-conditioned chaos of the lobby.
“You know,” Jax said as we crossed toward the elevators, “Kaia’s probably not going to let me sleep until I tell her how this went.”
“What are you going to tell her?”
He considered for a moment, then sighed. “That you’re still an idiot. But you’re an idiot who loves Harlow.” A pause. “And I guess that’s going to have to be enough.”
It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t the easy reconciliation I hoped for, but it was something.
It was a start.
“For what it’s worth,” I said as we waited for the elevator, “Syn was right. You would have regretted missing this.”
Jax snorted. “Don’t tell her that. Her head’s already big enough.”
“Your secret’s safe with me.”
The elevator arrived, and we stepped inside. As the doors closed, Jax’s hand landed on my shoulder.
“Welcome to the family,” he said. “Officially.”
I looked at my best friend, the brother I’d chosen, and felt something settle into place. “Thanks, man.”
Tomorrow, I was going to marry the love of my life with my best friend by my side.
For the first time in days, I let myself breathe.