Chapter 14
Raleigh noticed the minute Brax left the room. The air changed and she missed his presence. She reminded herself not to get too attached. Except that he was everything that was good about being home.
And that was precisely the danger. He made her want to stick around.
It didn’t help matters she’d written three songs in the loft with him last night. Being with him reminded her of so many little things she loved. The smell of hay. A horse’s nicker. An endless summer sky.
“How much did Wade take?” Willie asked.
“I’m hiring an accountant to figure out the books.
They’re a mess and nothing matches up but I already froze our accounts after payroll, and we’ll get a professional on the job who can sort through it all.
Give us a better picture of where we stand,” she said.
“Honestly, I’m tickled we’re not broke. We do have a good amount of money in the bank.
I have no idea what’s supposed to go out or come in, but we’ll get a handle on it. ”
“Thank heaven for small miracles,” Tim said, whilst Randy nodded.
“I feel like I should have been on top of what was going on with Wade. I apologize for letting you all down,” she said.
The rebuttals were immediate.
“You did no such thing,” Randy said to a chorus of similar statements.
“Thank you guys for saying it, but I do feel personally responsible,” she argued.
“We’re in this together. Any one of us could have questioned Wade or asked to see the books. It’s been a little too easy to let you do everything,” Willie piped in. “That needs to change. We’re grown adults and we should be pitching in more.”
Kenny was the only one who sat in silence, arms folded over his chest, chin down. Was he still wallowing in self-pity? She remembered Randy’s warning. Kenny had been quick to defend Wade. The two couldn’t be in league…could they?
There was only one way to find out.
“Kenny, you’ve been quiet. Is there anything you want to add to the conversation? Your opinion is just as important as everyone’s.” She hoped she wasn’t pouring it on too thick.
“I’m just a drummer,” he said. “That’s all I care about and all I want to do.”
Kenny made a dramatic show of slapping his palm on the table as he stood before walking out the back door.
“Why does he have a stick up his—”
Tim cut Randy off by clearing his throat. Randy glanced around the room like he just realized they were in mixed company.
“He’s been off ever since the divorce,” Raleigh mentioned and quickly added, “not that I’m making an excuse for his behavior. I’m just looking for an explanation.”
“Someone needs to remind him of his manners.” Willie was normally the quiet one of the group, so his comment drew a couple of eyebrows. The low rumble to his voice said he was fed up with Kenny.
“I’ll have a talk with him,” Raleigh offered.
“Mind if I take a stab at it first?” Buck asked. “I used to have a temper until I learned to get it under control.”
“You?” they all said in unison. All heads turned toward Buck.
“One of my old bosses took me under his wing after letting me know my options,” he said with a grin.
“I’d sure like to know what those were,” Willie piped in.
“Get it under control or get off his crew and take my reputation with me.” Buck smiled at the memory. “I told him to take his job and shove it.”
The group laughed, breaking up some of the tension.
“But he was right and my reputation for being a pain in the backside always showed up ahead of me. I had to stuff my pride in my back pocket and go back to him to beg for my old job,” he continued.
“He hired me back and put me to work right alongside him. I kept my mouth closed and watched how he handled people. Learned a lot from that man.”
“That’s a great story, Buck,” Raleigh said and the others agreed.
“I’ve been around this business a long time. Maybe I can get through to him,” he said. “Plus, I need to get him to ease up on Jake a little bit. The kid needs a break. He refused to come down to breakfast, which isn’t like him. Now, he’s off somewhere on his own. He needs to know we care.”
Raleigh hoped someone could reach Kenny.
The more she thought about it, the more she realized his bad judgment and quick temper probably had a lot to do with what he’d been going through at home.
Being away all the time would strain any relationship, even a solid one.
Kenny wasn’t helping matters by spending too much time with his groupies on the road.
Being unfaithful would wreck even the strongest marriage.
“I really hope you can work some magic with him,” she said to Buck. “And I agree that he’s been too hard on Jake.”
“No one would argue there,” Tim said. “What started out as good-natured ribbing has gone too far. We can do better.”
Buck gave a nod before heading outside.
Raleigh grabbed her coffee cup and walked over to the pot for a refill.
Out the window, she saw Kenny pacing near the barn while on his cell.
He immediately waved Buck away as he approached.
Instead of leaving, Buck walked over to the nearest tree, crossed his arms over his chest, and then leaned back like he had all the time in the world.
She smiled. Patience won wars.
Raleigh excused herself, coffee in hand, and headed to the computer in the Marshall’s office. She couldn’t help but think it was a shame he had this huge house and no one to share it with after his wife died.
It seemed like such a waste not to fill this place with family, especially on holidays.
Raleigh remembered the Christmas Eve she’d spent at the ranch when her nana got stuck in Houston with a freak ice storm.
When she thought of warmth and holiday and family, it was the smells that had come Lucia Firebrand’s kitchen she remembered.
Cookies baking in one oven and a pig roasting in another.
Mom Firebrand was at their massive island rolling out homemade pasta before dropping it into massive pots of boiling water on the stovetop, her red sauce simmering.
She sat down at the Marshall’s desk, thinking those meals should have happened here. She tapped the space bar on the keyboard, and the spreadsheet filled the screen.
“Do you have a minute?” Mom Firebrand stood at the doorway. Worry lines etched her forehead.
“For you? Always,” Raleigh said without hesitation. “Where’s the baby?”
“Her mother took her for a walk.” Mom Firebrand didn’t take a seat. Instead, she paced and twisted her hands together. The bad sign caused Raleigh to sit up a little straighter.
“I need to talk to someone, and you’ve always been like a daughter, so I hope…
” Mom Firebrand threw her hands up in the air.
She signed the cross and blew out a breath.
“Brax is not my son.” She immediately whirled around and mumbled a familiar prayer.
“But he is my son in here.” She put her hand over her heart.
“He’s mine in every sense of the word and I’ve been keeping this terrible secret from him because I was afraid of losing him. ”
Raleigh needed a minute to recover from the bomb that had just been dropped on her. She didn’t want to know this about Brax and she certainly shouldn’t know before he did. Her mind snapped to the file. She instinctively reached for the drawer.
“It’s not there. I took it.” Mom Firebrand gasped. “He didn’t see it, did he?”
“No. But he deserves to know.” Raleigh dug deep to find a calm voice while panic welled up from the inside. Brax not a Firebrand? Everything about him was tied to being a cattle rancher…and a Firebrand.
“I should have told him, but how?” Mom Firebrand sank into a chair and it was like all the life force had been drained from her body.
Her bones seemed to melt into the chair and, for the first time, Raleigh could see all the wrinkles in the older woman’s face.
“How do you tell someone you’ve loved and cared for and held in your arms since he was a tiny baby that he’s not your son?
Because the moment he was placed in my arms he was mine. ”
“I know you did what you thought was right for him and it’s easy to see how much you love him, but wouldn’t you want to know if you were adopted?” She couldn’t bring herself to scold Mom Firebrand and it wasn’t Raleigh’s place to. Her heart broke for the conflict adoptive parents must feel.
Mom Firebrand shot a confused look. And then recognition dawned.
“He’s not mine but he’s a Firebrand,” she clarified.
Raleigh regretted mentioning it. She was walking into a sinkhole of information she didn’t feel she had a right to know. Mom Firebrand should be having this conversation with Brax instead of her and it felt all kinds of wrong to be sitting in this chair where Brax should be.
“He’s the same age as Corbin, so my husband paid a guy to change the birth certificate,” Mom Firebrand continued.
“I’m honestly at a loss for words,” Raleigh said.
“About what?” Brax stepped into the doorframe.
Mom Firebrand winced and let out a yelp before scurrying out of the room. She signed the cross as she flew past Brax. The sounds of her hastening footsteps echoed down the hall.
Brax didn’t budge. He stood there, staring at Raleigh when she wished he would go after his mother.
“At a loss for words about what?” he repeated.
Panic made it feel like she’d just licked glue. Her throat was dry and her tongue felt like it was swelling up.
“I-uh-um.” She locked gazes with him as she jumped up. “I just can’t.”
“That answer doesn’t carry water.” Brax spread out his feet in an athletic stance and folded his arms across his chest, essentially blocking her exit.
“It’s not my place, Brax.” She couldn’t be the one to turn his world upside down. He might still be a Firebrand but that could have meant a lot of things. He might be his uncle’s child or…the Marshalls?
It would explain the file. Had the Marshall arranged for the birth certificate to be changed instead of Brax’s father?
Raleigh knew what it was like to grow up without parents. It had been pretty awful at times despite Nana more than making Raleigh feel loved and protected. She shuddered to think what her life might have been like without Nana.
But this was far worse.
“Let’s go find your mother, Brax,” she insisted.
“You know something and you’re refusing to tell me.” The hurt in his voice gutted her.
“I hope you know how much I want to.” She couldn’t meet his gaze. She couldn’t be the reason he was in pain. He might think she could stop it but what she knew would only make it worse.
“Then do it, Raleigh.”
A sob escaped before she could suppress it. She shook her head. Digging her heels in like this ripped her heart out. “Go talk to her. Please.”
She glanced up in time to see the daggers. They scored a direct hit and she could see their friendship would never recover.
“Your mom loves you very much,” she said by way of explanation.
“Now you’re defending her?” he took a step back like he’d taken a bullet, and then disappeared down the hallway.
If Brax put a move on, he might be able to catch his mother before she got out of the house.
Raleigh’s refusal to put him out of his misery was a gut punch.
He thought they’d become close—close enough that she should know how much it meant to him to figure out what was in the file.
And he was one hundred percent certain she knew the contents.
Having Raleigh and his mother in league behind his back felt like a knife jab. He had trusted Raleigh, and he wouldn’t make that mistake again. When the investigation wrapped and she got back on the road, it wouldn’t wreck his world now. Because he’d started to believe it might.
He would do all he could to speed the case along, doubling down if need be.
Mother was gone by the time he reached the kitchen. He stepped outside and caught sight of her scurrying across the yard.
“Hold on there,” he shouted.
His mother froze. She didn’t turn around, which didn’t surprise him. Even from this distance, he could see her shoulders shaking. She’d been in an emotional state when she’d bolted out of the office.
Brax realized this news wasn’t going to be good. At this point, he just wanted to get it over with and move on. Get whatever it was out in the open where it could be dealt with.
He ate up the real estate in between them in several quick strides.
“Tell me what is going on, Mom,” he said.
She put her face in her hands and shook her head.
“I don’t know how to. It’s been too long and I should have…but I didn’t…and now…how can I?” She didn’t look at him and he knew in his gut this news was going to be worse than anything he had previously imagined. And his mind had gone to some pretty dark places.
“Say it outright,” he urged, knowing he could never fully lose his temper with his mother no matter how frustrated he became. “Get it off your chest.”
“What if you…” She stopped herself, dragging out the last word.
“I can’t offer any reassurance if I don’t know what you’re going to say, and I can’t imagine you could have done anything you couldn’t be forgiven for. You’ve been an amazing mother and I love you.” Those words were absolutely true.
She looked at him with red-rimmed eyes.
“You aren’t my biological son,” she said on a hiccup. “Which doesn’t mean that I love you any less than the others.”
Brax watched as her mouth moved but it was as though she’d yanked the earth out from underneath him. The world started spinning and he had to walk over to a tree to anchor himself before he face-planted in the dirt.