Chapter Twelve
MR. DARCY TRIED to engage Elizabeth in conversation after that, but she had none of the earlier fire she’d had. She seemed to have retreated into herself, nodding here and there, answering in a faint and slightly sardonic voice.
It chilled him.
He had managed this badly, he knew, and he needed to fix it. He did not know how, of course. But he did not wish her to be his mistress if she was like this about it. That was no way to begin a life together.
He did not wish to let her go or to have her resign herself to some awful life in the Hurst household, but he also would not be the architect of a life she found unacceptable. In all truth, he was at a loss for how to proceed.
When she said that she would like to get herself together, to dress and see to her hair, he said he would go, of course. “Shall I ring for your maid?” He nodded towards the bell pull.
“No, I have no maid,” she said. “I see to myself.”
“What do you mean, you have no maid?” he said.
“Well, in my family, we do not each have our own,” she said. “So, when I travel, I cannot take someone along. Caroline and Louisa are not inclined to share, so—”
“This is unbelievable,” he said, and he quit her room, pounded down the stairs, and looked into the kitchen where the two women he’d loaned to the dower house were sitting at kitchen table doing some mending with needle and thread.
They both were startled when they saw him and stood up.
“I wonder if one of you would have a few moments to go up to the bedroom at the far end of the hall on the upper floor, and see to a woman who’s there?
Her name is Miss Bennet, and she has been hidden away here.
She only needs someone to help her with her hair and into a dress.
I don’t think it should take too long. And you needn’t worry it will be a permanent part of your duties.
I shall find someone else for her as soon as I can. ”
The women exchanged a look.
“I knew there was someone else in this house. Did I not say so?”
“I thought it was rats,” said the other woman. “I’ll go look in on her, sir.”
“Thank you,” said Mr. Darcy.
He left the kitchens and was in the process of walking out of the house to go and see what could be done about a maid for Elizabeth when Caroline was there.
She still looked furious. “What were you doing up there with her?”
He licked his lips, looking her over. He had no desire to speak to Caroline Bingley, none at all, but he did wish to put something in this situation to rights, and perhaps there was a way. He did not know. “Shall we speak in the sitting room?”
“Fine,” said Caroline, flouncing away from him.
He followed her.
In the room, he was aware that it was just the two of them, that they were alone in a room unchaperoned, and that Miss Bingley was unmarried. He sighed. “We should have your sister present.”
“Oh, yes, I suppose,” said Caroline, shaking her head. Now, she didn’t look furious anymore. She looked on the verge of tears.
In spite of himself, he felt pity for her.
He hovered in the doorway instead of going for Mrs. Hurst. “I should have been plain with you when I first could see that you were interested in me,” he said.
“It has been cruel of me not to tell you that whatever it is you imagine for the two of us will never happen.”
She looked up at him, her eyes wide. “What are you speaking of, sir?”
He considered. She wanted to deny it to maintain her self-respect. He could press things, force them both to acknowledge it, or he could grant her that little nicety. He gave her a nod. “Nothing, I suppose. That is not what we should speak of.”
She eyed him. “Miss Bennet went and sought you out?”
“No, she went seeking food because you are not feeding her,” he said, and his pity for Caroline was draining away again.
“She is not starving,” said Caroline. “What were you doing up there with her?”
He thought about it, wondered if there was anything to be gained by lying, and then decided it was more straightforward if everything was on the table. “I was trying to convince her to be my mistress.”
Caroline’s lips parted.
“She’s not interested, and now she says that you will no longer help her.
I suppose you only wished to do whatever this was because of proximity to me?
” He furrowed his brow. “Of course, how does that work? I suppose the cottage itself must have been part of the plan, and you thought you would be near to Pemberley and therefore close to me—”
“Stop,” said Caroline, and her voice was agonized.
“I do not see how this situation continues in this manner, of course,” said Mr. Darcy. “But if your sister is still willing to carry out this charade, then I shall do my part to facilitate it, I suppose.”
It was quiet.
Mr. Darcy spoke again. “Are you intending to abandon her here on her own now?”
Caroline looked up at him. “Why?”
He furrowed his brow. “Why?”
“Why her? What does she have that I do not have? Even now, when she is gone with Mr. Wickham’s child, you are—”
“What?” He lurched, going sideways into the door frame, unable to keep his balance.
“I simply don’t understand it,” she said.
“I am not exceedingly plain, I do not think, and I know that I understand the ins and outs of proper behavior better than she does. She is the daughter of a gentleman, true, but no one would consider her better connected than I am. So, what is it, Mr. Darcy, why do you want her?”
His voice was insubstantial. “Go back.”
“I assumed she told you, since you said you wanted her as a mistress,” said Caroline, blinking at him. “Did she not tell you?”
“Wickham,” he said. “Go back to that.”
“Oh, she left that part out,” said Caroline, laughing.
“That’s odd, truly, because she swears up and down it wasn’t even of her choosing, that he put laudanum in her drink, that she was asleep for most of it and only woke at the end.
But she concealed that from you, so I suppose that tells us everything we need to know. ”
He coughed.
“Do you want her as a mistress now?” Caroline was smiling a particularly awful smile.
He felt physically ill, as if every one of his major organs had flipped inside out.
He was having trouble breathing. “Pray excuse me, Miss Bingley,” he managed, and he staggered out of the room and out of the dower house and got only six feet out of the front door before he found himself doubled over, casting up his accounts, vomiting next to the bushes that lined the front walk.