46. Genevieve
Chapter forty-six
Genevieve
Iwoke up before the sun, the room still dim with the glimmer of the moon and stars shining in through the windows.
The sheets were warm beneath me, my muscles a dull, satisfied ache, the faint sting of love marks igniting my skin.
I pushed myself upright, hair falling over my shoulders as I blinked into the dark haze of the room.
The ocean crashed over the shore. The waves surrounding the island were calmer earlier into the night, but it was still gentle enough to feel soothing.
My chest tightened as I stared out at the horizon, letting the ache come. I didn’t fight it anymore. Grief wasn’t a wave you outran, it was something you learned how to float with. Something that was dangerous enough to crash into you, but calm enough to suffocate the thoughts.
It had been months since I walked away from my children. I chose Reid… chose us at the cost of everything else. And the ache hadn’t left.
It had just… changed. Became something I could carry without collapsing.
But God, I still thought about them every second of every day. Thought about Eugene, my smart, brave little boy. My throat burned, eyes pricking just at the memory of his little face.
And Brielle… my tiny little miracle with her newborn scent, her fragile body lying on my chest. I could feel the weight of her now.
Some mornings I remembered too vividly, felt stuck in my body, afraid I would actually break on the outside. I was already broken on the inside… and only one man could put me back together time and time again. With no complaints or hesitation.
My gaze drifted downward to the faint bruise on my hip. A reminder of Reid’s mouth, his need, his love and rage and ruin pressed into me. The pain was dull but it buzzed on my skin, calming the thoughts that over took me.
Jamie came to my mind… her sweet voice, her hands guiding mine when Brielle was born, her smile even when she was too weak to stand. I wondered how she was doing now.
A sad little smile tugged at my lips. Raymond stayed with her for reasons that were heavier than love.
He stayed out of loyalty. Out of obligation. Hellbent on keeping the life they’d built together intact, even when love had slipped from their fingers.
Jamie didn’t get to choose her happiness. She didn’t get to choose her freedom… she didn’t choose love. Her life had been carved out for her by circumstance, duty and family. The cancer was just the icing on the cake.
I pushed my hair out of my face.
I had chosen.
And my choice had hurt so much. It was only a matter of time before something else had pushed me farther and farther from the woman I was. Before Gregory was the head of the family, Cheryl by his side, me being trapped in their home with no escape.
I could’ve stayed out of obligation, lost my freedom at the expense of my true happiness, and following true love… but I chose myself.
I chose Reid.
The bed shifted behind me. A warm hand slid down my spine, gentle and deliberate, tracing every curve of my body like he needed to relearn it again, commit it to memory over and over. His arms wrapped around my waist from behind, dragging me gently back into the heat of him.
His bare chest pressed against my back, the weight of him grounding my thoughts, easing my mind.
He lowered his head, lips brushing the corner of my neck before he spoke, voice rough, sleep-thick, and softer than he’d ever allow anyone else to hear. But he’d always let me hear it.
“You’ve been awake a while,” he murmured.
I closed my eyes, leaning back into him, letting my head rest against his shoulder. “Couldn’t sleep,” I whispered, and he hummed.
“…Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, hand searching for mine as we entwined our fingers.
I shook my head.
Talking wouldn’t fix anything… wouldn’t give me my children back or undo the choices I made. No matter how much I cried, or blamed myself for starting all of this in the first place… I didn’t regret my decision. Not like I regretted letting him walk out of my life the first time.
Reid didn’t push for me to speak. He never pushed when I broke like this.
Instead, his hands shifted, turning me gently in his hold, guiding me into his lap to soothe me.
He didn’t say anything for a moment, the pads of his fingers gently caressing me as he cradled me in his arms, holding me as I melted into his chest. The tears spilled out of my eyes as I listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat, sighing in contentment as he caressed me back to sleep.
And every time he did, I remembered why I chose him.
And why, even with everything I left behind, I would choose him again.