Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
“So…don’t hate me,” Zara said, unwilling to meet my eyes.
As if I could ever hate her. Zara was my best friend.
“What’d you do now?” I teased.
Zara and I had spent the day visiting all our favorite haunts.
It had been fun but bittersweet. After a decade of living in London, I felt more at home in this city than the small town in Oregon where I’d grown up.
And while I’d miss everything from the accents to the architecture, I was going to miss Zara the most.
She sipped her sparkling rosé from her perch on my bed. Kai was spending the weekend with his dad, Craig, before we moved to the States. Part of me still couldn’t believe Craig had agreed.
I’d been in overdrive the past few weeks, trying to wrap up things at the London office for my boss, Sloan. Coordinating her move as well as preparing for my own. Obsessing over what to take and how my five-year-old son was going to adjust to me uprooting our life.
Kai seemed to alternate between excitement and apprehension, as did I. But I also wondered if I was making a huge mistake. It was exhausting.
“I set up a profile for you on a new dating app,” Zara said in a rush.
The dress I’d been holding slipped from the hanger, and I gaped at her. “You did what?”
“You need to get back out there,” she continued. “You’re hot and young—”
“Pfft. Right.” I wasn’t sure either description fit me anymore. I was in my late thirties. I was a single mom. I was tired. And it showed.
Besides, I wasn’t interested in dating. Even if I had the time or the desire to date—which I didn’t. I was done letting a man have any say in my life.
I hadn’t gotten divorced only to shackle myself to someone new.
Zara glared at me. “You are. You’re a knockout. All you need is a good night’s sleep. Slap on some concealer and wear your hair down for once, and you’ll see that I’m right.”
“I appreciate that,” I said, and part of me knew she was right.
A lot of what I was feeling was anxiety and exhaustion.
“But get real, Zar. I’m a single mom who’s going to be living in a new city.
Not to mention that I’ll be crazy busy at work.
And helping my parents.” My dad had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last summer, and my mom had been dragging her feet about moving him into a care facility.
I knew a big part of it was money. Alzheimer’s care was hella expensive. But I also understood that a lot of her resistance was emotional. She didn’t want to have to make that decision for him. She didn’t want to live apart—him at a facility and her at their home.
I’d been so relieved when Sloan had asked me to relocate to LA with her. I felt so far away in London. Too far away. My parents were just a few hours’ flight from LA. I was looking forward to visiting them more often because our weekly video chats were no longer enough.
“I know,” Zara said in a gentle tone. “I know you’ll be busy, and you have a lot on your plate. But you’re the one who said you wanted to go to LA, not just to be closer to your parents but because you needed a change. You’ll be in a new city, and LA is the perfect place to meet someone.”
“I get that you own a luxury matchmaking business—”
“A very successful luxury matchmaking business,” she added with a grin.
“Yes. And I know you just want everyone to be happy and fall in love. But you know I’m not interested.”
“In marriage, maybe. Which is why I haven’t tried matching you with anyone—” I gave her a look, so she added, “Lately.” Her expression might be contrite, but I wasn’t buying it. “I have not tried matching you lately. And hey, maybe you’re not ready for a relationship, but what about sex?”
“What about it?”
“I hear a good shag can do wonders for stress relief. You’ve been divorced for almost two years. When’s the last time you were well and truly fucked?”
“Not as long ago as you’d think,” I muttered.
“Wait. What?” She climbed onto her knees. “Who? And please tell me it was not Craig.”
“Seriously?” I rolled my eyes. “Give me a little credit, Zar.”
“You’re right. Sorry. I know you wouldn’t get back together with him. I think…” She got up and took my hand in hers with a sigh. “I think that’s just my biggest fear.”
“I know.” I nodded.
And I understood. I did. Before the divorce was finalized, Craig had tried to convince me to give him another shot. And for a brief moment, I’d been tempted to give him that second chance. Mostly for Kai’s sake. For the guilt I felt—the guilt Craig had made me feel—for breaking up our family.
“Yeah. That’s never happening.” I scoffed, annoyed that Craig had nearly manipulated me yet again. But I was smarter now. Stronger.
I was also happier without Craig. And I had faith that Kai would be okay too. Craig and I might not be in love with each other, but that didn’t mean I loved our son any less.
“So…I’m forgiven?” She batted her eyes at me.
Was she kidding? Zara was the one friend who had been there for me. Who had stood by me through the divorce when all my other so-called friends had deserted me.
And she kept showing up for me. Just like I did for her.
“Of course you are.”
“So who was it, then?” she asked.
“It doesn’t matter. It was…inappropriate.” That was putting it mildly. Unprofessional. Unethical. Wrong. It was wrong.
“Inappropriate?” She arched an eyebrow. “Now I’m even more intrigued.”
Should I tell her?
No. I shouldn’t tell her.
Should I?
I trusted Zara not to tell anyone. Honestly, I’d thought about telling her so many times already that I found myself whispering, “Jasper,” before I could stop myself.
I tried to suppress the way my body responded to the sound of his name alone. It had been easy to ignore those feelings when we were separated by an ocean. I wasn’t sure how I was going to react when he was sitting across a boardroom.
Her eyes widened. “Jasper Jasper? As in Jasper Mackenzie, one of the world’s most eligible billionaire bachelors and your boss? That Jasper?”
My cheeks heated at the reminder of Jasper and all the reasons I shouldn’t have slept with him. Still, I felt compelled to defend myself. “He’s not my boss. He’s my boss’s brother. And anyway, it was a one-time thing.”
I snapped my mouth shut to stop my continued rambling. Okay, so maybe we’d had sex more than once. But it had been confined to that one summer. And that’s how it would stay. Zara didn’t need to know that. Eight months had passed since, and it was done. Over.
Too bad the thought of ending things with Jasper didn’t make me any happier now than it had then. But such was life.
“Mm.” Zara crossed her arms over her chest, grinning. “Naughty. Naughty. Does this mean we’re finally entering your ‘fuck it’ era? How delicious.” Her eyes gleamed with mischief.
“It was not delicious. It was bad.” I’m bad. I’m a terrible person. I covered my face with my hands and groaned.
“The sex? Sex with Jasper was bad?” She sounded offended by the mere suggestion.
“No. No.” I sighed, lowering my hands. “The fact that I slept with him is bad.”
“So the sex was good,” she said, leaning forward with a wicked grin. It wasn’t a question. Not really.
“Very good.” My cheeks heated. Amazing. Out of this world. Even now, all these months later, I still found myself daydreaming about it.
She arched her brow. “Good to know the rumors about him are true.”
Ugh. I hated any reminder that I was yet another notch on his bedpost.
“Oh, don’t look so disgusted,” Zara said. “Anyone would understand why you did it. Even if he weren’t rich, the man is hot. No one would blame you for sleeping with him, especially after all the shit Craig put you through.”
“Not sure Sloan would be too pleased, let alone the Huxley brand. I could lose my job.” My chest tightened. It was the first time I’d admitted that aloud, and it seemed much more real now.
“Do you think that would happen?” she asked. “Because I think Jasper would be in more trouble than you.”
I’d spent a lot of time actively trying not to think about it. Because when I did…it wasn’t good.
It was bad enough that I’d slept with my boss’s brother. One of the owners of the family business. Jasper was now head of the entire company. And soon, I’d be working in the same city, the same office, as him.
I wondered how Jasper was adjusting to his new position.
I tried to picture it and failed. Jasper was charming, yes.
Detail-oriented. But I’d never gotten the impression that he wanted to run the company.
He may have butted heads with Graham on occasion in the past, but he’d always seemed content to play a supporting role.
Zara was quiet for a few moments, helping me fold. I hoped that was the end of it, but I sensed it wasn’t.
“Well, you certainly have a type,” she finally said.
I turned to her and frowned. “I do not have a type.”
“Oh, come on,” she said. “Wealthy. Charismatic. Emotionally unavailable.”
That wasn’t true. Was it?
Yes, Jasper was wealthy. Much, much wealthier than my ex. Charismatic. Yes. But emotionally unavailable?
If anyone was emotionally unavailable, it was me.
Jasper was the one who’d wanted to continue our relationship, and I was the one who’d pumped the brakes. Even though it had been a few years since my divorce, I wasn’t ready to jump into another serious relationship. Let alone a long-distance one with potentially explosive consequences.
And I’d been right to put a stop to things before they could get serious. We both knew what would happen—long-distance was meant to fail. And clearly, he wasn’t willing to put in the effort. I might have ended things, but he’d let me go.
“So maybe the dating app is a good idea after all?” Zara nudged me. “You could do some research for me and find yourself someone nice and…uncomplicated.”
“Uncomplicated.” I laughed. “Right.” That was putting it mildly. I’d slept with my boss’s brother.