Chapter 26
LUCY
That grandfather clock in the corner is driving me mad, tick, tick, ticking away.
Ever since Castle invited me to sit in the plush chair across his large desk, I’ve been waiting for the bomb to go off.
He hasn’t looked up from the tablet in his hands, and it’s a battle of wills as to who will stretch the uncomfortable silence longest.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Maybe waiting is the point. He hasn’t glanced my way once, but maybe he’s studying me in his periphery. Like I am him.
The green Tiffany lamp casts mosaic amber patterns over the desk, and in the low light, the dark, sinister paintings on the walls look more ominous than usual. The figures inside seem to lean forward slightly, beautiful, decaying creatures caught mid-reach from their frames.
I’ve never liked these paintings. I’m a much bigger fan of the three chickens behind me, but somehow being in here makes even those feel creepy. Everything in this room is meant to remind you that your time isn’t your own, and someone is always watching.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
“So,” he begins, making me jump. He sets the tablet aside and steeples his hands in front of him. “How’s our Hatter?”
Our.
My chest burns, and I have to fist my hands to keep from pressing them to the ache. I don’t like this protective sensation searing through me at all. But I certainly don’t like Castle’s possessive tone either.
“Okay, I guess,” I finally answer. “I think he’s fitting into the club nice enough.”
His mustache twitches. “I hardly care if he’s fitting in, Alice. Have you discovered more about him?”
The sharpness in his voice does make me wince this time, and I don’t mind letting the expression out. I’m pretty sure that reaction is what he aimed for.
“He’s hard to read,” my admission is true enough that I think he buys it because he nods once and gives a pensive hum.
His fingers drum once against the chair’s arm, in an unhurried beat. I swear, Castle is the master of weaponized awkward silence. But I’m pretty patient too.
Finally he gives in. “When people travel alone without clear purpose, they’re usually running from something… or running toward it.” His eyes bore into mine before his brow kicks up. “Any luck figuring out which category Hatter resides in?”
I keep my face carefully blank. “No, sir.”
“No luck at all, hm?”
Ignoring the clear disbelief in his voice, I shrug like I’m not scared to death about lying through my teeth. “Everyone’s hiding something. I’m confident I can figure that out from him eventually. He seems intrigued by me.”
My core clenches and I squeeze my thighs together against the dampness still in my panties. If Castle knew what we’d just been up to, I’d probably die right on the spot from embarrassment.
“Intrigued? Interesting.” He nods. “That’s good. If he thinks you’re special, you can definitely work with that.”
Something about that wording makes my chest ache. His gaze lingers just long enough that I have to resist the urge to shift in my chair.
“And the allergy medicine?” The question lands lightly, almost like an afterthought. “I’m still looking for that referral. My own tends to make me drowsy.”
Same lie as last time.
I give an apologetic grimace and fib right back. “Sorry, sir. Just run of the mill Benadryl, I think. Same as the rest of us take.”
“Is that why he had it on him? In anticipation of coming to the club?”
“No. He’s just allergic to everything.” I shake my head and wave my hand generally. “Half the planet, apparently.”
“Apparently?”
“That’s what he said. I buy it. I saw him itching his arm earlier. And sneezing.” I almost say Tweetie did too to support my claim, but if he told her about how he takes his meds, then that’ll screw me over, so I keep my mouth shut.
Castle hums again. “And that’s all he shared?”
“Yes, sir.” I nod once.
His eyes don’t leave mine, and I have the horrible, sinking feeling he can see straight through the thin strip of white lace over my eyes that I always hide behind. That he’s been able to see through my real mask this whole time.
The lamp shifts golden light across his features, hollowing the hard angles on his face and casting his eyes into shadow. For one unsettling second he looks less like a man and more like the paintings surround us. Judging us. Judging me.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
“Alice.” His voice is soft, a facsimile of patience again. The kind someone shows when they’ve already decided what they think and are simply giving you the chance to confirm it. “Are you being truthful with me right now?”
My pulse kicks up. “Yes.”
“Really.”
It’s not a question. “Because if you’re hiding something—”
“A girl. He said he’s here because of a girl,” I interrupt, hating myself a little. One, that wasn’t smooth at all, but two, saying anything about him feels like a betrayal.
But why?
I turn the question over in my head the way you turn over a stone you’re not sure you want to look under. I don’t know him, just met him a few days ago. Why am I protective over him already? Or at all?
And yet the thought of Castle picking apart our conversations like a vulture feels like a violation against something I don’t have a name for yet. Something I’m not sure I should even want.
Castle’s head tilts. “His… brother’s girl?”
I hesitate before what he said clicks, and a burst of relief pops in my chest.
Right. I already talked about his brother having a girlfriend… or whatever she is to him. So I nod.
“Yes, sir. That’s all he’s said. He doesn’t really talk about himself, not even when I try all my tricks.”
“Well, it seems as though you’ll have to try some new tricks, won’t you?” The pointed way he says the words pricks cold sweat on my nape.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” I sound out, trying to harness the heat of righteous anger pulsing my chest. Castle scares me, but being forced to do something I don’t want to do again? That enrages me.
Castle studies me for a long moment, his expression giving absolutely nothing away and making my heartbeat pulse so quickly it feels like it’s one long discordant note.
The grandfather ticks in the corner, and I get the distinct feeling that the bomb hasn’t gone off yet at all. It’s only just been set.
“Perhaps he needs Smoke, then,” Castle finally replies and picks up his tablet again.
My spine straightens. “He said he doesn’t do drugs.”
Castle shrugs. “That doesn’t have to necessarily apply.”
“No,” I growl. “I won’t be a part of that.” The words come out more forcefully than I intended, but I don’t take it back.
His brow raises. “Part of… what, exactly?”
“Drugging people. It’s one thing to provide people with the choice, but to do it without their consent isn’t right.”
“We all do bad things, Alice.” His tone is calm and unhurried, then deepens. “Even you.”
I flinch.
He’s not wrong. I’ve been extracting secrets from people for weeks now, even when I knew people were choosing to be on Smoke. But drugging people without their knowing?
“I’m not perfect, but that doesn’t make it okay to be even worse,” I insist. “We’re already lying to people when we tell them they won’t get affected secondhand. They don’t know that as soon as they walk through the door, they’re subjected to truth serum basically.”
Something flickers in his eyes, a mild curiosity like he’s found an insect caught in a web. “And what would you have me do about that, Alice? How would I prevent bystanders from being affected by Smoke. I already warn my staff to take antihistamines.”
I shrug. “I don’t know, better filtration maybe? Keep it off the floor?”
“Hm.” He considers my suggestions, before offering, “Or better yet, we could stop supplying it at all.”
“Yes!” I sigh, relived he agrees. “Exactly that.”
His smile lingers for a moment before it suddenly drops, and any warmth vanishes with it.
“Alice, who told you Smoke is a truth serum?”
“I…” My mouth shuts, then opens. Shuts… opens. “Does it matter?”
“It does.” His eyes roam over my face. “Was it Hatter?”
I blink and frown. “No? How on earth would Hatter know?”
He studies me one beat longer, then lets it go with a small nod that feels an awful lot like he’s filing something away more than accepting my answer. “Don’t tell him.”
I blink. “Why not?”
“Because you want information from him, don’t you?” he answers, looking at me like I’m a fool who’s forgotten the rules to the game I agreed to play. “And you’ve been unsuccessful thus far.”
Heat crawls up my neck. “I’m trying—”
“You are not.”
I suck in a breath, despite the fact he said it so matter-of-factly, but he continues before I can provide an excuse.
“You haven’t meaningfully progressed your assignment since he arrived.
If X hadn’t vouched for him, he would’ve never been let back in.
Hatter is asking for his check in cash, and the ID he turned over gave him the beginnings of a nursery rhyme for a name.
You’ve extracted nothing useful, and I have an unknown on my payroll now who may or may not be dangerous to me and my people.
Do you not understand the gravity of your assignment, Alice?
How can I protect you if you don’t do your job? ”
“Dangerous?” I echo belatedly. It never crossed my mind that Hatter could actually be dangerous. Is he?
Not to me. The conviction whispers quietly across my mind. I don’t know where the certainty came from, but I’m definitely not going to say it out loud.
I swallow. “I… I’m sorry, I’ll try harder.”
“I’m afraid you won’t.” He tilts his head, a birdlike movement that makes the shadows in his features deepen. “What is it about him, Alice? You don’t push. You don’t dive deeper. It is so very unlike you. It’s curious.” His voice softens as he analyzes my frozen expression. “Quite, quite curious.”
The room goes quiet, except for the ever present… Tick. Tick. Tick.