Chapter 30 #2
“They grew up here on the island, and Mary Ann died when she was around y’all’s age,” Duchess says quietly with a sniff.
“It’s so fucking sad. After the girls’ dad passed, Iris and Chef did their best, but Mary Ann fell in with the wrong crowd.
One night she went out in a storm, and they never figured out if it was because she was high or the weather was just that bad, but she didn’t realize how deep the water was when she was trying to cross a bridge on the island.
Her car flooded. She wasn’t able to get out in time. ”
I suck in a breath, and sweat prickles my nape.
“Hatter? Are you okay?” Lucy frowns and reaches for my hand. I grab it like a lifeline. “You’re white as a sheet.”
I shake my head, trying to get my shit together. “Yeah, no, I’m fine.” I clear my throat. “Just… something similar happened to someone else I know.”
“Oh my God.” Lucy’s voice breaks, recognition flashing across her face. “Your brother’s girlfriend. Was that how it happened for her?”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
All I can do is nod. I pull my hand away to grab a nearby chair, then collapse onto it and force myself to breathe through my nose.
Lucy immediately starts rubbing my back, and fuck, I hate myself, hate myself. Hate. My. Self.
Because she’s comforting me right now, and I’m letting her while I keep this lie going.
“I’m so sorry.” Her voice softens. “It must be so disheartening to lose someone you love even though they’re right in front of you.”
I almost laugh at that—a sound that would be just as caustic and poisonous as the emotion that came with it. Because, fuck me, the irony is so vicious it burns from the inside out.
For everyone’s sake, I hope I never have to tell her the truth about any of it.
“Yeah,” I say quietly. “It is.”
Then I clear my throat. “Is Iris like that a lot?”
“She used to have more hostile episodes. It was really hard on Chef,” Duchess explains while sweeping crumbs from the tabletop with her hand. “But then Alice came, and she’s been so much better.”
Lucy smiles sadly. “Some days she remembers exactly where and when she is. Other days…” She sighs. “Other days I’m Mary Ann.”
“Chef could’ve been world famous,” Duchess adds. “He already had the James Beard nomination, but he was on track to become a household name. Instead, Iris developed the same thing her dad did. She got progressively worse. Started wandering, looking for home, and he did the only thing he knew.”
“Brought her home himself,” X finishes quietly.
Duchess curses as she glances toward the stairs. “He gave everything up.”
Lucy shakes her head. “I think he sees it differently. Coming back to Wander Isle meant keeping the love of his life safe and happy for as long as possible.” I can’t take my eyes off her, unable to stop myself from picking apart every word as the sadness in her voice turns to resolve.
“I think for him, it was an easy decision.”
My chest aches.
“True,” Duchess muses after a moment. “It’s just… sometimes I wonder if it would be better to be stuck in the past. On ‘good’ days, her sister is gone forever. On ‘bad’ days, she thinks her sister is alive and well.”
Duchess glances toward us, a twitch of a smile at the corner of her lips. “And in love, apparently.” But then her eyes drag back to the staircase. “I just wonder which one she’d choose if she could.”
The question hangs in the air. I want to pull Lucy into my arms and confess everything, holding tight enough that she can’t flee from the truth this time.
Life’s too goddamn short, even shorter when the world you come from is dangerous enough without getting tangled up with men like me and Castle.
I’ve got to get her off this island.
And then I’ve got to let her go.
Lucy McKennon can’t be mine, no matter how good it feels to play pretend.
X clears his throat and hooks a thumb toward the door. “I’m gonna walk Duchess home and let you two lovebirds sober Alice up a little more.”
Duchess snorts, and Lucy rolls her eyes.
“We’re never gonna hear the end of that, are we?”
“Not if we can help it,” Duchess says, shooting X a smile. He winks right back.
Jesus, how did I completely miss their chemistry? I was so busy worrying about every man in Lucy’s orbit that I overlooked what was right in front of me.
Duchess stands, and X leans down to kiss her cheek before turning to me.
“Y’all good to close up? Chef leaves spare keys for us under the mat by The Rabbit Hole’s door.
” He eyes Lucy, then the pastries behind the glass.
“I imagine she needs another cup of tea, and maybe another tart or two. Should do the trick.”
I have no clue whether that’s medically sound advice, but I appreciate the wingman-assist.
Lucy already looks more lucid than she did when we arrived, but whether tea and pastries are actually the cure, I don’t know. Chef just insisted ginger tea and carbs until she passed out in a sugar coma would do the trick.
What I do know is that I’m ravenous for every second alone with her before I have to tell her who I really am and that I have to kidnap her off this island to get her the fuck away from Castle.
Jesus Christ.
That conversation is gonna suck.
Before I can answer, Duchess squeezes Lucy’s shoulder. “Like Miss Iris said. Take care of my girl, Hatter, okay?” She heads for the door where X is already holding it open, then gives me a joking glare. “Or you’ll have hell to pay.”
Your girl?
Something irrational and possessive rears its ugly head.
M—
Fuck.
No.
She never will be. .
But God, I wish she was…
I look at the woman in question, the one beaming at me now with a smile that makes my chest ache. The one who can’t be mine.
Then I nod at Duchess.
“I’ll always take care of her.”