Chapter Thirty-Four
Phoebe
On our walk to the seaside bar, my phone buzzes.
Laurie Strode: Send me your coordinates, bug.
My stomach somersaults. “Hailey?” I show her my phone. “Doesn’t she already know where we are?”
Hailey frowns. “It might be a test.”
A test? Of loyalty?
I’ve been so withdrawn that she must be questioning where I stand. Not good, not good. It’s my fault. Maybe I should’ve made a better effort so she knows I wouldn’t betray her.
By the time we’re seated on the outside patio of the Lure, I still haven’t figured out how to respond to the text, and Rocky is late.
We opt for a table close to a family of four. The parents are more preoccupied corralling two toddlers than eavesdropping on our conversation.
Where’s Rocky?
I keep checking the time. The waitress serves us warm crab dip and the best fried clam strips I’ve had, and I shift the patio heater closer to Hailey as the sun begins to drop.
Finally, Rocky arrives, eighteen minutes past the time he set.
He shows up in a sexy sport coat, his black hair artfully windswept. And as soon as he seizes my gaze from across the patio, he doesn’t let go. He walks to the table still clinging on to me, and my expression isn’t necessarily inviting.
I’m a little aggravated he’s late. And I’m mad that my pulse is skipping, and my heart has practically catapulted to my throat.
Rocky looks me over, as though ensuring I’ve been fine in his absence. Does he want me to be fine when he’s gone? Would that make him happy?
I drop my gaze first and check out the menu. We’ve only ordered apps.
When he sits down, he already starts digging into the crab dip like he hasn’t eaten all day.
I glare. “Hello. How are you? I’m doing great, too, thanks.”
“We need to talk about Trevor,” he says after swallowing a mouthful.
I frown. “I thought we were here to talk about Jake?”
“That, too.” He wipes his hands on a cloth napkin. “But Trevor is more like an impending doom. Jake is taken care of.”
Hailey narrows her eyes. “Did you kill him?”
He gives her a look. “Hailey.”
She eases back. “Just checking.”
“What about your annoying brother?” I ask, grabbing a pita from the dish.
“As you both know, he comes with baggage.”
He means enemies, but he’s trying to be discreet in public. Trevor is a liability that my mom is sometimes afraid to have around, so they place him in shadows and dark corners. Over time, he’s angered the wrong people with the money box scam. There’ve been a few instances where Nova has seen men tailing him.
“The longer he’s here, we’ll need to be careful about any photos he’s in so he’s not geotagged.”
Hailey nods. “Can do.”
“Same. Is he for sure staying?”
“I don’t know. But I think he’ll still be around when our parents show, which could be soon.”
My stomach nose-dives at the mention of our parents. I remember the text, and I drop my pita on my plate. Appetite gone.
He watches me with a frown. “What happened?”
I fish my phone from my pocket and hand it over.
He reads the text quickly, eyes darkening, and then passes the phone back. “She’s testing you?”
“That’s what Hailey thinks. I kinda believe it, too. She has reason to mistrust us. We haven’t exactly been forthcoming.”
Rocky just expels this rough, heavy breath. “What are you going to reply?”
“I know what you’d want me to reply,” I say. “Coordinates to the Arctic. Send them to the North Pole to live with the penguins.”
“Penguins are in the South Pole,” Hailey tells me.
Rocky smiles at me like I’ve been successfully burned. Au contraire, I love my best friend’s helpful facts and corrections. I become smarter by association.
“That’s not what I’d do,” Rocky argues. “I’d tell her it’s none of her business. I’m working my own job, and I’ll see her in time. Until then, we can shoot the shit about literally anything else.”
“Sounds not cagey at all,” I say dryly. “I have no reason to lie to her. I’ve never been at odds with my mom.”
“Then just tell her where you are, Phoebe. It’s not like she doesn’t already know. And if you want her to believe that you trust her, because you clearly still do, then maybe it’s the right move. But it’s not my move to make. It’s yours.”
I don’t know if I can resist falling into a big con if she’s around, and I can’t fail Hailey. I can’t screw up this life we’ve built.
I don’t want her to come here. Not yet.
It’s all I know for sure.
So I send a text: Trevor said that you all have our location. We’re doing really great. Everything’s going well. We’ll meet up somewhere else.
She’s quick to reply.
Laurie Strode: I’ll talk to Everett about it. Didn’t know he got your location. See you sometime soon! Miss you, bug.
Everett has been keeping her in the dark? Why would he do that? I’m not exactly opening giant lines of communication with my mom right now, so I fight the urge to pry deeper about Hailey’s dad. I send one more message about missing her, too, and I show the thread to Hailey, then Rocky.
Hailey’s legs bounce underneath the table. “I-I’m not ready for them to come here. I can’t...”
“Hey, Hails.” I hug my friend beside me.
Rocky goes rigid, concern pinching his brows.
“We’re going to be there,” I remind her. “I’m not leaving you alone.” It’s what I keep telling her.
She goes sheet pale. Her black lipstick and eye shadow a darker contrast against the stark white of her skin. “Maybe we should talk about Jake.”
“Maybe we should take a walk,” Rocky suggests, waving over the server. None of us order entrées, we just pay the bill and then hike down to the beach, carrying our shoes as our feet sink into the brown sand.
Wind is fiercer closer to the ocean, and in October, fewer people stroll along the water in the chilly evening. Squinting, I can distinguish a dog and an older person in the distance, tossing a Frisbee into the shallow waves. Otherwise, no one is around.
In this moment, it feels like the beach is ours.
Orange hues from the setting sun paint the horizon. It’s pretty, but I’m only really looking at my best friend.
“What’s wrong, Hails?” I find myself whispering, even though there’s no reason to be quiet.
Her eyes are already bloodshot, restraining tears. “They’ll see what I see when they get here.” She peeks back at the seaside bar at the top of the hill.
“Which is what?” Rocky asks.
“I’ve been here for two months, and I’ve come up with about a hundred different jobs. Not meaning to, really. It’s just habit.” She looks sick to her stomach. “But even if I don’t share any of my proposals, they’ll make their own. And they’re going to want to stay and pull one... and I can’t convince them not to. I don’t know how. I-I’ve never...”
I drop my heeled boots in the sand and reach out to console her, but she inches backward, avoiding my gaze. It crushes me, but I swallow hard and just nod. Maybe she needs space.
“So leave,” Rocky tells her... and me. He’s looking at me. “Go on the run. Keep your normal lives.”
Will you come with us?
It’s the first thing that I think. Too mushy and vulnerable. I grind the thought away. “How?” I ask him, crossing my arms and balling the sleeves of my pale pink sweater in my fists. “We can barely make ends meet here, Rocky. How are we supposed to do that jumping from place to place without...?” Conning.
We weren’t given proper life skills to have normal lives, and adding runaway to that makes it infinitely harder.
And I really want to live this one life here. Not a million lives out there. Setting down roots has been my favorite part of this whole experiment.
“Then this doesn’t work. And you two need to pull the cord because as soon as they know they’ve lost their pawns, they will do everything to reel you back in.”
“We’re not their pawns.” I shake my head.
I may have slight doubts in them—mainly in Everett—but there’s still love between my mom and me. I know that.
Hailey intakes a big breath. “It’s going to work.” Her voice is strangely high-pitched. “I’m going to explain the situation when they get here. Phoebe and I are done. They’ll understand. They have to understand.”
“This is a delusion,” Rocky says in an intense whisper. His eyes are pleading with us to just wake up. I want to stay in this dream just a little longer.
One more day.
One more minute.
One more second.
It’s a feeling I’ve had before. The grip-on-tight, not-wanting-to-leave feeling—because most good things in my life have been painfully short-lived.
“They will come here,” Rocky says slowly, “and they will go straight for the Waterfords, for Jake. Am I wrong, Hails?”
Hailey rotates on her heels, distraught. Water laps against the sand near our feet, and I feel the rush of the cold against my ankles.
I frown at Rocky. “When have you cared about Jake?”
“He’s your boyfriend, right?” He waits for me, maybe, to say no.
“Fake,” I correct.
“Fake boyfriend.” His voice is rough. “I care by association to you.”
He cares about me. It’s a truth, but one that’s more said in action, less in words.
It’s hard to look at him. Do I really want to leave Victoria, just to do another job where I’m seducing more men and Rocky has to watch? I’m not sure my heart can handle that. But I’m not sure my heart ever has been able to truly handle it.
More than myself, I am doing this for Hailey. Our pact. It’s her dream that I’ve adopted as my own.
Rocky must see that in my eyes because he spins to his sister and says, “I know you want your Mystic Pizza life. And I wish, from the bottom of my soul, I could give that to you. But I can’t. You can’t have that life without the approval of our puppeteers. They’re not ever going to give it to you, Hails.”
Her face breaks. “Rocky—”
“It’s a town. A silly fucking town. Please, you can’t be this attached—”
“I’m not doing it for me!” Hailey yells with full-blown tears. She’s dropped her boots, her hands pressed to her chest. “This isn’t about me, okay?! I love my job. I love what we do. You think it was easy for me to stop?” Tears cloud her vision.
I’m pummeled backward, my pulse lodged in my throat.
She points out at the ocean. “I’ve wanted to go back about ten hundred times.”
My body stills.
I blink past a glassy film. “What?” I whisper, not understanding.
Rocky looks just as stunned, his hand clamped strongly over his mouth.
Hailey points at the sand, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You two don’t have a patent on protecting people. Other people can protect you, you know that? Other people can try.” Her chin quakes. “And maybe I haven’t done a great job of it—maybe it won’t last like I’ve wanted it to, but I’ve tried.” She pinches her eyes, choking on a sob.
I fight between the urge to comfort her and to prod for a clearer answer.
She wipes at the creases of her eyes, mascara already smudged.
“Hailey,” I say, choked. “I don’t understand...”
Her watery, splintered gaze hits mine. “Do you really think I could’ve let you go back after what happened in Carlsbad?”
Oh my God.
Rocky’s hand that’s clamped on his mouth suddenly combs through his hair, and when he looks at me, my world is overturned. Swallowed whole by his sheer tidal wave of concern.
I struggle to speak, and I just focus on Hailey. “I was doing this for you,” I whisper, my voice broken.
“And I’ve always been doing this for you. You’re my best friend.” She rubs at her runny nose. “I love you, Phebs, and you’ve protected me my entire life. It was my turn to protect you.”
Inertia. Why did I think she invoked the word for herself? Why did I never consider she could’ve had other reasons to quit conning—when the first time that I surfaced our pact, it’d been for Hailey? And all along, when she said the word in Carlsbad, it’d been for me.
Tears have built in my eyes, my throat swollen closed. I don’t know what to say, so I just come forward and put my arms around her. She hugs tighter, and my wet tears fall into her blonde hair.
She touches the back of my head and whispers, “I know... I know I can’t force you to quit for good. But I tried... I had to try.”
“I know,” I breathe.
I know.
“It’s up to you what you want to do next, Phebs. It’s your choice.”
My choice.
Hailey’s not the one grounding us here anymore. She never has been. It’s always been about me and that night in Carlsbad.