Chapter 45
Diesel
T he sounds of footsteps jolted me awake, and alert, I perked up, ready to be beaten or drowned again. I still felt like I couldn’t breathe, even though I was completely dry at this point. Waterboarding . That was the name of this torture. I remember once seeing Gale torturing a man to death this way. Only that fucker was quick to die. Me, on the other hand? For some unknown reason, life stuck to me like a curse, refusing to let go.
The footsteps got closer, and I jerked back right before someone touched me. It was a different touch from the others, almost like a caress, which made me even more alert.
“Relax, it’s me,” someone said, and despite the fragile state of my brain that had gotten one too many blows for one day, I recognized that sickening voice.
A second later, Oro removed the hood from my head, revealing the room to me. Due to the beating to my face, I could only blink open one eye, but seeing him here, standing in front of me with a worried expression, made me wish they had beaten my other eye, too.
“Holy shit, your face.” His breath shuddered, and he bit his bottom lip before reaching out to touch me .
I didn’t allow it, and with the bit of strength I had left, I shifted my head aside, causing Oro’s hand to miss me.
“Still playing hard to get, hmm?” He clicked his tongue, sliding effortlessly into my lap without permission.
I winced at his weight pushing on my injured body, and repulsed by his closeness, I gritted my teeth and forced my head away from his.
“I rushed here as soon as Dion told me what happened.” He traced his finger along the cut on the side of my face. “That cruel man deserves to die.”
Closing my eyes, I wished he’d stop when instead, he only shifted closer until his breath landed on my skin. It was moist and reeking of cock .
“I can save you.” He wrapped his arms around me until his disgusting lips grazed my ear. “I can make all of it stop in seconds… All you need to do is to apologize for being so mean earlier.”
Suddenly, it all clicked together, and I understood why I was here.
Him .
This little shit sitting on my lap was the one who gave Dion my name. Fuck . It was almost hysterical to think such a pathetic creature was capable of causing this much damage, but at this point, it didn’t even matter, and I couldn’t find it within myself to get angry. Instead, all I felt was numbness—apathy toward this shitty world.
“What do you say? Ready to apologize?” He poked my cheek while waiting for a reply.
Slowly, I turned to face him, my stomach flipping with disgust at the mere sight of him.
“G-go fuck yourself,” I hissed with all the power I could grasp. Each word hurt to spit out, draining me of immense strength, but seeing this piece of shit not getting what he wanted was worth the pain.
Oro’s eyes grew wide at the same time his lips parted, making him look so fucking dumb. Like a spoiled baby, his whole face fell before he closed his lips and swallowed hard. Probably his damaged pride.
I thought he’d finally gotten the message and was ready to leave me be when instead, he pulled something out of his pocket and held it between us. My heart sank to my stomach, and my chest tightened with dread as I focused on the gold chain dangling from his clenched fist, leaving me in utter darkness.
“What is this?” I uttered the words while my heart beat so loud I thought it would explode in my chest.
“I didn’t want to be the one telling you this, but…your sweet Shay-Lee is dead.”
Time, which was already crawling in this godforsaken place, suddenly stopped, and my broken body froze. In a split moment, every fiber of my being shattered into a million pieces, and the last hope I held on to, the thought of Shay-Lee getting to live a better life without me in it, vanished. It vanished because he—
“Dead?” My lips trembled as I muttered the word, refusing to believe it was true.
“Dion gave the order this morning.”
“No.” My throat closed up. “That can’t be.” Dion hated me, that was true, but there was no way he’d kill Shay-Lee, right? Of course he would, just like he’d killed Iván.
“You think he’s above killing your bitch? Please,” Oro chuckled. “It was one painful death, or so I was told by the men who did it. Anyway, after getting rid of the body, this necklace is the only thing left from your ugly bitch—”
Before he could shit out more poison from his mouth, I head-butted him, knocking him off my lap and onto the floor. My wounds reopened, and blood poured down my face as I glared at Shay-Lee’s necklace, which fell from Oro’s hand and landed on the ground right in front of me. It was so close, almost close enough for me to touch. Sweating bullets, I looked at the necklace. The pure gold shouldn’t be on this dirty floor, and desperate, I tried reaching it. “F-fuck,” I groaned in pain while stretching my leg as far as I could. My body burned with the effort, but I pushed through the ache until the chair moved a little, and my foot nudged the jewel. But then, right as I scraped it with my toe, Oro beat me to it and easily picked it up from the floor .
“Didn’t you hear what I said?” He bent close while holding the necklace like it was some medal. “Your bitch is dead .” He spat the words, then wiped the blood from his nose. “He died because of you, asshole. But hey—” His lips curled into one ugly smile. “—at least now he’s reunited with his daddy in hell.”
An unparalleled feeling hit me, turning my body ice-cold. Yet this awful darkness that enveloped me wasn’t anger but doom. Cold, deep, endless doom that even death seemed small in comparison to. It left me speechless, thoughtless, but mostly soulless. In all those years I spent apart from Shay-Lee, I was willing to sacrifice my whole being just for his sake, and I had. I did things I shouldn’t have done, crossed lines one should never cross and broke promises I’d swore to always keep. All of that had left me scarred and bruised for life. Mentally and physically, I had lost myself in the process of keeping Shay-Lee safe, and yet, I’d do it all again if needed to. He was my day, my night, my fucking God. He was why I’d stayed alive up until this point, but not anymore. Now, it really was all for nothing because he was gone. Dead. Murdered because of me. He’d perished from this world, and with him, so did my last resort.
“Here,” Oro said a second before something hit my face and fell into my lap. “You can have this worthless shit,” he added.
And while he tried being mean, he did have a point. Without its owner, Shay-Lee’s necklace really was worthless. Just a piece of junk that had lost all meaning.
Staring at this damn necklace, I remembered seeing it on my mom’s neck, then on Iván’s, and lastly, on Llorón’s. I hoped he would never take it off and that with him, this cycle of pain would finally end, but it all came crashing down. My worst nightmare came to life, and yet, I had nothing left in me to even shed a single tear. In fact, I had nothing left in me at all, as I was no longer a man, let alone a human.