Chapter 25 #3
“I want you to be useful.” Alexei’s smile sharpens.
Adriana shifts, just barely. Nolan presses his lips together, then unclenches his hands only to clench them again.
They are fucking nervous. This is bad.
“And if I say no?” The words leave my mouth before I can stop them.
Alexei doesn’t raise his voice. “You will not.”
“That’s not an answer.”
He stands up slowly, and the two men straighten behind him. Alexei steps closer until he’s beside me. He rests a hand on my shoulder with the silence that has my stomach lurching into my throat.
“Nolan has your footage,” he says quietly. “He has everything you’ve done for him. Everything you’ve taken. Everything you’ve used. One order, and it goes to the police. You would never walk out again. But you already know that, little rockstar.”
I focus on steadying my breathing.
“And there is something else,” he continues. “If you disappear, Jude, no one questions it. People like you burn out every goddamn day. Especially when you overdose on stage at a fucking concert.”
A chill goes through me. He doesn’t have to spell out the threat.
He squeezes my shoulder once, firm enough that my entire body goes rigid. “This is simple,” he says. “Nolan and I have struck a bargain. And you, Jude, belong to both of us now.”
I don’t breathe. Not until he pulls his hand back.
Nolan finally speaks. “We’ll...we’ll talk about specifics later.”
Adriana’s voice cracks when she tries to add something, then she clears her throat and looks down at the floor.
Alexei nods once, satisfied with his intimidation, then turns away. His men follow him toward the private elevator. Before the doors close, he looks back at me. “You are stronger than you think,” he says. “That is why you are still alive.”
The doors slide shut, and the silence that follows is suffocating. Nolan finally seems to exhale. Adriana wraps her arms around her stomach and sinks into a chair. And me? I can’t get enough air in. I’ve been forced into something I don’t know how to escape. I feel nauseous.
“The fuck just happened?” I ask, my voice trembling just a little. “You struck a bargain for my life?”
Nolan sighs. “Yeah, we did.”
I glare at him, feeling betrayed and scared. I used to think he was the worst. But he’s nothing compared to Alexei.
“Give me more. Now!” I yell, my gaze pinning Adriana. “You owe me because of last night.”
She flinches.
Nolan rolls his eyes.
“I’m waiting,” I step toward her, my body shaking.
“Fine,” she snaps, rising off the couch. “He—”
“Adriana, please,” Nolan cuts her off, walking toward me with an ignorant confidence he did not have when the bigger dog was here. “We’re combining our client base. He wants more reach in the United States, and sees our operation as a clever way to do that.”
“Seems like you’re scared of him,” I deadpan.
He narrows his eyes. “Don’t push it, kid.”
I snort and stumble toward the balcony, my fingers gripping the railing so hard it digs into my palms. The city of Portland sprawls beneath me, lights flickering like stars.
Every one of them feels like a reminder that I don’t belong here.
That I’m trapped. Even worse now than I ever have been.
I don’t know what to do. Emma’s little plan to help Micah and I won’t be enough now.
Even if Rook did agree to help, Alexei’s involvement just made everything so much more complicated.
How am I supposed to carry on? Will we continue our tour? Will Alexei’s reach find me in cities thousands of miles away? My chest heaves, but it doesn’t help. I curse under my breath, hating the coldness in my hands and the ache in my chest. The words replay in my mind. You belong to us now.
I lean over the railing and stare at the drop, my stomach knotting. Part of me wants to run, vanish, disappear. And part of me wants to jump right fucking now and end it all. But I close my eyes and drag in a deep breath.
I pull out my phone, thumb hovering over the screen, and think about Emma.
Maybe I’ll send her just one text to let her know I’m thinking of her.
But I don’t know if I can anymore. If I’m under Alexei’s thumb, then being with Emma is more dangerous than I’m comfortable with.
She’s a bright light in my life, and I’m so grateful that I’ve reconnected with her.
But honestly? I’m scared. The truth is worse than anything she could imagine.
She might know who I am under Nolan...but I worry what I will become under Alexei.
I drop my forehead against the railing and let out a long, low groan. My body is buzzing with adrenaline and fear and rage. My mind spins in circles around the same thought:
I’m in too deep, and I can’t get out.
I turn back inside, forcing myself to walk through Alexei’s apartment like it’s nothing.
But I feel every inch of the leash he just forced around my neck.
I slump into the couch in the living room, my head falling back.
I close my eyes, wishing for a second, just one second, that the world would stop spinning long enough for me to figure out how to survive this.
But I know there is no easy way out.