Chapter 45
Chapter Forty-Five
Matteo
And for that to happen, I need to risk pissing off my future father-in-law by officially asking for her hand.
The fact that he inked me with the kapitan crest means that he’s expecting me to become his family.
He knows that Anya and I will be married in the future.
But I have no idea if he’ll think a proposal right now is too soon.
Anya is doing yoga with Irina in her ballet studio, which gives me the perfect opportunity to speak with her father alone. I could wait, but I’m not sure when the next time I’ll be able to catch him without Anya noticing would be. Plus, I’d propose to her today if he gives me the go ahead.
Knocking on his office door, I brace myself for whatever is about to happen. His voice calls through the door, and I’m not even surprised that he knows it’s me. No one else would come see him without calling first. No one other than Anya, and he knows that she’s busy.
“Come in, Matteo.”
When I let myself inside, I shut the door quietly behind me. Like the last time I came to this office, I can’t find it in me to relax enough to sit down.
“Yes?” he drawls, looking up from his computer.
“Sorry if now is a bad time,” I start.
“If it were a bad time, I would have sent you away.”
“Right.” I nod folding my hands together in front of me. “So, uh, I want to ask you for something. But I don’t think I can until I’ve been completely honest with you, and there’s something I haven’t told you.”
“If you’re about to tell me you’ve hurt my daughter—”
“No. God, no,” I interrupt, shaking my head furiously. “It isn’t anything like that, and it never will be.”
“Then confess your sins, Matteo,” Anton grunts, sitting back in his chair and crossing his arms. “If you feel you must.”
“That’s the thing,” I say awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. “I don’t know whether you’ll think they’re sins or not. Secrets, yes. But…complicated ones.”
He gestures for me to continue, clearly just wanting me to spit it out.
“Three years ago, a box was delivered to your front door. It was full of body parts. The heads, hands, and shriveled up bloody dicks of dead men. There was also a computer chip with encrypted video files that contained hours of torture footage, all executed by two masked men. Those masked men were Nico and I.”
Several different emotions flicker on his face and none of them are readable to me. I can’t tell whether he’s shocked, angry, alarmed, or all three.
“Explain,” he demands.
So I do. I go into detail about Uncle Cesar hearing what happened, and how he had all of us looking out in case any of the scum were spotted near our territory. I tell him how I couldn’t help but doing more than sitting back and waiting to see if they’d be noticed on a whim.
Nico wanted blood, and I wanted to help him take out the trash.
I admit that it was the first time I’ve really been called to such a gruesome act, but there was nothing that I could do to stop it.
I enjoyed it, even. Not in the way that Nico did, but knowing that I removed two stains from this earth made it a little easier to sleep at night after the fact.
He listens to every word and eventually asks, “Does Anya know?”
“No,” I admit, wincing. “I don’t know if I should tell her.
I don’t think she would be upset if she found out and knew I didn’t tell her.
I don’t know if she’d want to know. It was years ago and I wasn’t the Matteo who loves her when I did it.
I was just a teenage boy who was fucking pissed off and wanted to hurt them worse than they hurt her.
I don’t know if we managed it, but we tried our damndest. Fourteen hours of performing torture is harder than it sounds. ”
“I don’t think she would want to know, either,” he admits after a moment. “But you might consider telling her anyway. Let her know that you had a hand in their deaths, but don’t go into details if she doesn’t want you to.”
“Yeah,” I say, considering it. “Maybe that’s a good idea.”
Anton grunts and nods. “With a secret as big as that one, I’m going to assume you’re here to ask to marry my daughter.”
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out a small velvet black box and step forward, setting it on his desk and pushing it to him with one finger. He hesitates before he takes it, opening it up with a soft click.
“I love Anya. I’ve said it before, and I’ll never stop making that clear. I think she’s ready to wear that. Maybe not to jump right down the aisle, but to have a symbol of my commitment to her, no matter her timeline. So yes,” I say, taking a deep breath. “I’m here to ask for her hand.”
He sets the box back down but doesn’t close it. Looking between me and the ring, he drums his fingers on his desk.
“I put that crest on your chest.” Anton points to my shirt-covered tattoo. “I made you a part of this family. So when you marry my daughter, you know that she won’t become a Moretti, don’t you? You’ll become a Morozov instead.”
I know he’s trying to warn me.
But Matteo Morozov doesn’t sound so bad at all.
“Yeah, I know,” I confirm, bobbing my head once. “I also know that I can’t live without her, and I want to spend every single day I have left on this earth making her happy.”
Closing the box, he pushes it back to me and asks one simple question. “When?”
“Would you flip your desk if I say tonight?”
Anton shakes his head, sighing loudly. “You’re lucky that she adores you, kid.”
My lips spread wide. “Trust me, I know.”
“Don’t look too happy,” he warns. “You may have just gotten my permission, but she still needs to accept. And besides, you just helped me decide what your role in this family will be.”
My smile waivers.
“Lev needs an heir, you know.”
Oh fuuuuuuck, he doesn’t mean—
“He’s not having a son, and Mikhail’s sons already have their futures planned out. Dmitri will need an enforcer he can trust when he takes over for me and Lev steps down.”
Oh, God, he’s saying it.
“Congratulations, Matteo Morozov, you just became Lev’s prodigy.”
Anya
Confiding in my aunt about being intimate with Matteo feels nice. I thought I would feel awkward or uncomfortable opening up to her about what we did last night, but the words flow easily and she’s receptive while being an active listener.
We cut yoga short to sit on the small couch in the corner of my ballet studio because both of us end up far too enraptured with conversation to keep up our poses.
She’s so happy for me and her smile only wavers when I mention that I had to have the tough infertile talk with him.
“We’ll likely discuss it more thoroughly in the future, but I think he took it well. He said it wouldn’t change his mind about me.”
“It shouldn’t,” she agrees firmly. “He loves you very much. That doesn’t go away when circumstances change. You never promised him children, and he never asked for them.”
“I know,” I murmur sadly. “And I can’t picture having a baby any time soon. I’ve just gotten my body back as my own and sorted out my mental state. Even if I could get pregnant, I wouldn’t be considering it for quite some time.”
“But?” she asks, sensing there’s more.
“But the idea that there will never be a little baby Matteo and Anya is devastating.”
The thought makes my stomach hurt. I shouldn’t have to think about something so horrible depriving me of not only my past but parts of my future too.
Aunt Irina takes my hand and moves closer to me on the couch. “You can have a mini Matteo and Anya one day, solnyshka. If the two of you want to have a baby of your own within the next ten years, I’ll carry it for you.”
It’s like my chest caves in under the weight of her words, feeling heavier and almost painfully full.
“What?” I ask since I must have misheard her.
My aunt squeezes my fingers softly and her eyes search mine.
“I’ll be a surrogate for you and Matteo if you want to have babies of your own while I’m still healthy and young enough to give them to you.
Lev and I aren’t having any more, our Nadya is all we’ve ever wanted.
But I had an easy pregnancy, and I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again if it meant that I could give you this gift. ”
“You would do that for us?” I croak, my voice cracking with emotion.
“My sweet girl, I’d give you the organs right out of me so you could experience the pregnancy yourself if it were possible. Your uncle knows I’m offering this to you, and he’s fully in support. I told him years ago that if you ever wanted to have babies, I would want to make you this offer.”
Two fat tears slip out of my eyes. “I don’t even know what to say.”
How do you respond to someone offering you the gift of a lifetime? How do you thank someone for offering you something so completely selfless and kind?
“You don’t have to say anything,” Aunt Irina insists.
“You don’t even have to think about the offer until you’re ready.
You have so much time, and Matteo doesn’t seem like he’s in any rush.
You told me what he said, and I’m sure he meant it.
I just wanted you to know that if it’s something you want down the line, I’ll be here waiting for your call, okay? ”
“Thank you, tetya,” I cry softly, capturing her in a tight hug. “I love you so much. Thank you for always being here for me when I need you most. I hope I can return that for you some day.”
“My sweet solnyshka,” she murmurs, hugging me in return. “I love you too, and you already give me everything I need. Watching you grow into such a beautiful young woman has been one of the greatest joys of my life.”
We cry together, hugging for several more minutes until the overwhelming emotions begin to subside. Matteo finds us while we’re cleaning mascara from under our eyes and becomes immediately alarmed.
“Are you two okay?”
“Happy tears,” I tell him quickly, mustering up a watery smile. “I’ll tell you more about it later.”
He doesn’t look completely convinced. “If you say so…”
“We do,” Aunt Irina tells him, her voice returning to its normally chipper tone. “Now, I have to run off and fix my makeup. Nadya wants to get bubble tea and manicures today.”
“Have fun,” I tell her, waving as she leaves.
“Happy tears, hmm?” Matteo asks, his hands surrounding my waist and tugging me close. “Does that mean you’re up for a little adventure with me in say…an hour?”
“Hmmm,” I hum, playfully considering it. “This adventure you speak of, will there be kisses involved?”
“There might be.”
“And where would we be going?”
“The beach,” Matteo says, brushing a kiss to the apple of my cheek. “We don’t have to stay long, but there’s something I want to show you there.”
My eyebrows rise. “Oh?”
“Mhm,” he agrees. “But there’s something I want to tell you first. You can tell me to stop talking at any time if you’d rather not hear it, okay? It’s not bad, at least, I don’t think it is. But it might be uncomfortable to hear.”
Confused by his sudden change in mood, I understand something must be weighing on him and take his hand in mine. “You can tell me anything.”
“Nico and I, we killed the men who hurt you. The ones that escaped before your father and your brothers could get to them. We tortured them for—” He shakes his head, cutting himself off. “We made them suffer, but I never brought this up, in case it would be upsetting to hear about it.”
“You…” I trail off, blinking. “You and Nico?”
“Yes.”
“Dad never said what happened when he told me that they got the last ones. But I could finally sleep for more than a few hours at a time when I got the news.” I swallow hard, refusing to let myself think too much about those dark days.
“You’re the reason that I felt safe enough to close my eyes at night? ”
Matteo exhales a held breath and nods slowly. “Well, me and Nico. Remo helped too, but just in locating them. Torturing and killing isn’t really his thing.”
“It isn’t yours, either,” I point out.
“Believe me, I was glad to do it. You weren’t the only one who slept better after they died.”
Overcome by this news, I pull him down into a fierce kiss, holding him close to make sure that he’s real and I’m not imagining him.
“Matteo, do you want to marry me?”
His jaw drops and for a moment, he freezes. But then he laughs, tossing his head back as his shoulders shake. “Oh, fuck, baby,” he says through more laughs. “Please, never fucking change.”
“Why are you laughing at me?” I pout, eyebrows scrunching in confusion.
He finally gathers himself and puts a hand in one of his pockets, digging around and coming back with a little black box.
My eyes widen and my mouth goes dry.
Can it be?
“If you would have waited an hour,” Matteo says, holding the box up. “You wouldn’t have asked such a silly question.”
Oh my God, it is.
“I was going to do this on the beach,” he starts, lips twitching like he can’t help but be amused that I’ve derailed his plan. “The ice cream parlor staff were going to light candles for us, and then give us each a cone after…”
He’s so fucking cute, I can’t stop smiling.
“But since you’re so excited that you can’t wait any longer.” He drops to one knee, back straight and head tipped up to look me in the eye.
He pops the box open and my heart melts. A light purple diamond, far bigger than necessary but completely gorgeous. The white gold band has tiny white diamonds decorating half of the loop just for added sparkle.
It’s perfect. Better than anything I would have picked out for myself.
“Anya Antonovna Morozova, you are the light of my life. My world was incomplete before I met you, and I’ll forever consider my greatest decision to be asking you to dance. Will you be my wife?”
Antonovna. The Russian patronymic way to say daughter of Anton. I don’t have an official middle name, but he’s learned enough about my family’s culture to know what to call me.
“Yes, yes, a million times yes,” I tell him, bouncing on my toes.
He stands up just in time for me to throw myself into his arms. Matteo laughs and spins me around, kissing me on the lips before setting me back down.
Taking my left hand, Matteo glides the ring onto my wedding finger and it fits like a glove. I turn my hand around to adore the sparkly diamonds and hop up and down some more.
“Who needs the beach? I’m so happy right now I could faint!”
“Please don’t faint,” he pleads seriously.
“I’ll try not to.” I laugh. “Eeeeep, I’m so excited. It’s perfect, Matteo. I love it, and I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. I can’t wait to be your husband, but we can stay engaged for however long you want.”
My heart feels mushy and full. “Do you think if we run fast enough, we can catch Aunt Irina in time to show her this before she leaves?”
“We can try.”