Chapter Twenty-Five After every tempest come such calms #2
“Has Vivian told you anything?” I pressed. “That’s her sisterhood, right? Maybe she would know more about the curse?”
“Vivian is bound to her pledge to ?nhye,” Jojo said. “She wouldn’t be able to share what she knows with you, even if she wanted to.”
“But she could share it with me,” I said. “If I rush ?nhye, then we’d have eyes and ears inside all of the secret societies. I could even rush Theta too, so Honey and you guys wouldn’t be bound to keep the societies’ secrets from me, since I would be a member.”
“Rushing two societies? That’s a horrible idea,” Jojo said.
“It’s dangerous,” Kasem said. “Sigma and Theta hold rush at the end of October, on the thirty-first, when the veil between the living and the dead is at its weakest. And with the curse’s wrath getting stronger, it’ll be too risky.
You saw what happened at Theta, Sianna. Even its own members can’t keep the spirits here at bay.
Vivian had to break code to help that girl. ”
“I’ll have you and Honey there. And Vivian,” I said. “Wouldn’t they protect new members so they can have more ghost hunters, or whatever?”
Kasem pursed his lips and Jojo looked away.
“Okay, I get that your messed-up pledges keep you from speaking to outsiders, but can you at least give me a nod or hint if I’m on the right track?”
“I mean, you’re not—not on the right track. Rush is when the veil is at its weakest, and Sigma and Theta are bleeding members now,” Kasem said.
But before he could finish speaking, a chill filled the air, the lights flickering as Kasem collapsed in his chair, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, his arms forced to his sides like some invisible power had bound him where he spoke.
Horrified, I fell, and Jojo caught me before I hit the ground.
His hands were firm against my waist, and the familiarity of his touch calmed my wild heart.
“He’ll be fine in a minute,” he said, looking bored. “It’s just the pledge at work.”
But Kasem looked in pain, like something from inside was pulling him apart. After a minute or so, though, he was released. He jolted forward, gasping, cursing under his breath.
“That’s what you get for not honoring your pledge,” Jojo chastised. “I told you not to rush if you couldn’t keep your vow.”
Kasem wiped his mouth, and a trace of blood trailed against his wrist.
“And if I recall, when I pledged Sigma, it was because it’s expected of a Saint James to do so. I’m not trying to carry some emblem of its legacy like you or Father were.”
“That’s because you’re selfish,” Jojo said.
“At least I know where my loyalties lie. Do you, brother?”
Jojo ignored Kasem, turning to me instead.
“Do you see what it means to pledge? Whether it’s to Theta or ?nhye, you’ll truly be making a vow of loyalty to one or both of the societies. That isn’t just something to do lightly, Sianna. You’ve already tied yourself to my brother and our family curse. Why get more wrapped up in this?”
I don’t know what I expected. Even after everything, Jojo hadn’t changed his position on helping us.
Kasem looked between us, understanding settling in his gaze.
“I’m going to head to class,” Kasem said. He stood, grabbing a gray peacoat from a hanger near the door. “Sianna,” he said, “we can look through the journals more later. Maybe if we can figure out this ‘wraith’ development, it might lead us back to the curse and how to break it.”
When Kasem left, it was just me and Jojo.
“You’re not who I thought you were,” I said, standing now. “You’re a coward.”
I grabbed my clothes, gathering them in my arms. I’d need to have Honey return them to Janette. Jojo stood too, crossing his arms, watching me in his brother’s clothes with a cool glint of displeasure.
“Maybe I am,” he said. “But I’ve seen what death looks like at the hands of the curse.”
“And I haven’t?” I said. Anger flooded through me. I spun to face him, holding up the bracelet and flashing him the translucent mark that I now had to live with.
From the stabbing in the alleyway to the maze to the woodshop, and now to Theta House, I’d seen so many twisted and sinister things, things I couldn’t simply look away from just because I wasn’t a direct target of the curse anymore.
Something softened in Jojo’s eyes. Tentatively, he took my hand and ran his fingers along my wrist, letting his thumb play with the beads on the bracelet as he searched for words.
I should have pulled away. A part of me wanted to. But another part of me was a flutter of wings soaring at his touch. After all this time, even now, I craved him.
When our gazes met, my heart caught in my chest. Despite myself, my anger shifted into something different, something urgent.
“I know you hate me right now. Your powers aren’t quite yours anymore, and my family has you caught in the twisted, awful world of the curse.
But can you blame me for wanting to keep this away from you?
Back when we were coworkers at Louisa’s stall, it was just…
” He paused, gathering himself. “Us. It was just us. I think it was the happiest I’d been in a long time. ”
Everything between us, everything within the last year, came brimming to the surface.
As much as I hated to admit it, hearing him confess how much he’d valued our time together meant something to me.
For so long, I’d thought my feelings for him were all in my head.
But I’d known he’d felt something too. Even if it wasn’t love, like I’d wanted, I’d been special to him just as he’d been special to me.
We orbited each other, both of us heated and longing, drawn once again into our perpetual game of chicken.
But this time, it felt like Russian roulette.
I broke first, flinching against the burn of his stare.
But he pulled me into his arms, not letting me retreat.
So, I laced my arms around his neck and let him hold me.
His familiar scent was intoxicating. I sank into him, and he wrapped his arms around my waist, burrowing his head against the crook of my neck.
When his lips brushed my lower jaw, I gasped, closing my eyes, knotting his shirt in my hands as we took each other in.
The rhythm of our heartbeats became one.
“I missed you,” he whispered. “Sianna, I miss you so much.”
He was speaking in the present and the past, as if, even in his arms, there was that distance again.
He brought my wrist to his mouth, and with a gentle touch, he kissed the translucent mark there.
A shiver of pleasure coursed through me.
And there too was that voice, that hopeful refrain deep inside me that wanted us to go back to how things were.
“We can fix this, Jojo,” I whispered. “But I need you. We both do.”
He knew about my feelings for him. He always had.
“If what you saw in your vision is true, if Kasem inherits Westfield, your powers and his lifeline will still be connected in some way, even if the curse is broken. Focus on learning to control your powers. Don’t let yourself be trapped here by whatever…
feelings either of us have for you. Trust me, you’re just a toy to him, Sianna.
A means to the inheritance. A way to get to me.
He and I have no right to ask anything of you but your forgiveness. ”
Our orbit came to a collision, the impact a crater that neither of us could cross.
“He’s your brother, Ojore,” I said, using his real name as my last resort. A name for all these years, I’d never known.
“Don’t do that,” Jojo said.
“But that’s who you are. Ojore Saint James.”
“I don’t go by that name anymore. I gave you the journals. And I gave you this warning. That is all I’m able to offer, Sianna. I’m sorry.”
Even after everything, he was pulling away from me.
“Fine,” I spat. “Don’t help. We don’t need you. I don’t need you. We’ll break the curse ourselves.”
I wasn’t going to chase him anymore; not for his help and not for the love I yearned for. And even if he changed his mind, even if he miraculously found a way to unbind my powers from Kasem’s lifeline and help us break the curse, I would never forgive Jojo.
He’d had a chance to choose us, to choose me. And instead, he’d kept to his silence and his secrets. He always did.
I left then, taking the same exit as Kasem and bursting up the stairs to the living room, past the startled-looking faculty and research fellows enjoying breakfast. Jojo didn’t call after me. He didn’t even try to stop me.
And somehow, that was worse than anything.