Chapter Forty-Six Refuse thy name
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Refuse thy name
I WAS SHIVERING. KASEM LIFTED me onto the dock, and then he climbed up after, clutching the blade that Pete had tried to stab him with.
The wound on his shoulder and wrists left a trail of blood that drew alligators to the surface of the swamp.
He slipped his hand around my waist, helping me stand, and we hobbled our way to the shed, Kasem locking us inside just as the alligators reached us.
He held me tight as they charged the shed door, their deep, bellowing roars bloodthirsty.
With the door securely bolted, we fell to the ground, hugging each other like we’d collapse if we let go.
The shed was tiny, filled to the brim with power tools and devices that I didn’t recognize. There was also a blue mat that leaned against a shelf packed with supplies, from batteries stained with rust to flashlights with broken light bulbs.
I buried my head against Kasem’s chest, taking in his musky scent, taking in all of him. Just moments before, I’d watched him nearly drown. But he was alive. He was here.
“Are you hurt?” he asked, pulling away from me and examining my injuries, even as his dripped with blood.
I ignored him, cupping my hand over where the knife had cut his shoulder and channeling my affinity.
A light tingling sensation gnawed at the back of my head, but slowly, his skin began to weave together.
The wound rewound to before the knife had cut him and he hissed in pain as the tissue repaired itself.
I fell forward, drained from channeling my affinity. Kasem held me steady.
“Are you able to heal yourself too?” he asked.
His hand traced my bruised lip and eye, tendrils of silver light unfurling behind him.
“Kasem,” I whispered. “I’m fine. He barely scratched me.”
I pulled him closer, grazing his cheek and anchoring myself to the present. To the feel of his body pressed against mine, his cool touch, our wet clothes sticking together.
The light retreated back within him, his wraith slumbering again in its relic.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”
Angelica hadn’t told him yet. Still. After all this time.
But neither had I.
“You’re a wraith, Kasem.” I pressed my eyes shut, gathering myself before meeting his burning gaze with my own.
“The night in the alleyway, you died. My CPR didn’t work. But my powers, they rewound your injuries and brought you back as a wraith. Half human. Half spirit. Separate.”
I knew I should tell him what it would mean to be a wraith; that his soul was at the brink of corruption. That if he stayed this way, he’d become like Danny and Nathan, one moment at peace with his death, the next vengeful, seeking to kill humans, even if at one time, he’d known them or loved them.
“What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted shakily. “I guess I’m just taking it all in.” He swallowed, forcing a weak smile. “All of this, is it connected to the curse?”
“I don’t know. Angelica thinks the curse might explain how you could even be tethered to both the realms of the living and the dead.
You hadn’t completely crossed over when I brought your body and spirit back.
But we need to bind your soul to your body.
And we have to do it on your birthday, at midnight, when the veil between realms is thinnest.” I strung off the bracelet, taking his hand and slipping it on his wrist. “You need to be wearing the bracelet when we do the binding ceremony—the ritual of revenant, Angelica called it. And we need Jojo’s help, either a lock of his hair or his blood for the incantation. ”
He took the bracelet off.
“No, Sianna.”
“You need this more than me.”
“No,” he repeated. “I don’t. You saw what happened earlier. If Pete had his way, if he had drowned me, at least you’d have had the bracelet. Better to keep it with you,” he said, taking my hand and slipping it back on my wrist. “When the ritual happens, I’ll wear it. I promise.”
We were still holding hands, but I couldn’t see into his past, not against the cool touch of his palms and his fingers laced in mine.
I remembered Angelica’s words, about how the more time passed, the more his soul and body separated.
Dread fell over me. My powers weren’t picking up his lifeline, even though I could feel the flicker of one burning within him.
“Nathan saved us,” Kasem said. “I wonder if him doing that, even as a wraith—or whatever he was—helped free his spirit from the curse?”
His guess was as good as mine, but I was sure Vivian being with Nathan might have helped wake him from his vengeful form in some way.
Cecilia had said ghosts could turn into wraiths through hate, so maybe Nathan had somehow managed to come to terms with his death and regained some part of his humanity.
The night grew quiet. Even as Kasem and I were reeling from all we’d seen, we found ourselves settling into silence.
He brought me to the floor, placing the mat beneath us. We lay there, back to back, constrained by its confines. But our fingers were touching, and I was acutely aware of him, from the curve of his back, muscled and lean as he was, to the small of mine against his broad frame.
He turned, and I did too.
From the waistband of my skirt, I pulled out the mechanical switchblade.
Surprise settled over Kasem, but he took it, examined its fixture.
“Honey used it to cut us out of the rope. Have you seen it before?”
He nodded. “There are some displays around campus with artifacts the school keeps of Westfield’s history.”
“Honey said she snuck it from Alaster. And, well, I looked into its past and it was used in your stabbing. Kasem, I think Alaster was the third person.”
Kasem swallowed. “And Honey’s covering for him?”
“I don’t think she knows either. Otherwise, she probably wouldn’t be so flippant about bringing the switchblade and telling me it was his.”
“I never thought he’d go so far,” Kasem said. He laughed. “I was so thoroughly dense that I blamed Ojore for it.”
“That’s probably what he wanted. For you and Jojo to keep fighting while he found a way to get rid of you and keep Jojo under his thumb.”
“We need to tell the president.”
“You’re joking.”
“There’s no point in going to the police,” Kasem said.
“When I was in a coma, Alaster said he and the board of trustees handled everything related to the stabbing, and I’m sure they bribed them too.
Pete and Jay as well. I bet you they paid their bail.
My uncle is the only one with actual power who could help us. ”
“I don’t see how he’s any different from Alaster or the Board,” I said.
“I told you how close he was to my father. And even when we were growing up, he was the one who took care of my brother and me. He always said he aimed to honor Duncan’s original legacy, not what the Board has made Westfield now.
And that means enforcing the original will with Kent’s line as Westfield’s inheritor. If we bring him the blade—”
“This is our only piece of evidence,” I said, cutting him off. “And it’s barely that without my powers.”
“Then what do you want us to do?” he said, exasperated.
“We bide our time, make a trap, and make sure they can’t hurt you or anyone else here at Westfield.” If I’d had to bet, Danny had probably been victim to Alaster too, when he’d been planning to expose Westfield and the Board.
Yet, despite what I’d told myself since coming to Westfield, I hadn’t wanted Alaster to be Kasem’s attempted killer.
It was enough that his friends had already tried to kill him because of the curse.
But Alaster wasn’t bound to it—and he was Kasem’s family.
He could have let Kasem inherit Westfield.
Instead, he’d done everything in his power to undermine him at every turn. He’d gone as far as murder.
I put the switchblade in a corner close to us, deciding I’d keep it for now. Later, when I had more strength, I’d use my powers to peer deeper into its past.
“Honey’s gone for help,” I said, trying to brighten the mood. “She should be back soon.”
“It’ll take nearly a half an hour to get to campus, even with an ATV. And then another half hour to get here, if she can wake anyone up and even find us.”
“So we’re stuck here.”
“For the night? Probably.”
“Do you think the others are okay?”
“I don’t know.”
We were silent for a long moment.
This close, I took in the silver and gold flecks of his irises, the melancholy of it all. Face-to-face, our noses nearly touched and our lips were a breath apart. I couldn’t stare long, though, and I looked away, breathing softly even as my wet clothes and the cool air made me shiver.
“You’re trembling,” Kasem whispered.
He brushed my cheek with his palm and my lashes fluttered wildly, a small gasp escaping my lips at his touch. Fire burned in my chest, every inch of me hot and warm and wanting, aching for him.
For a moment, Kasem said nothing. And then he whispered my name.
“Sianna.”
The three syllables were a question, his eyes searching for an answer in mine. He cursed under his breath. And then he pulled me to him, closing the distance between us.
My mouth parted as he kissed me and I leaned toward him, wrapping my arms around his neck, gasping against the pressure of his lips crushing mine.
He whispered my name, spoke it in between stolen breaths.
He’d wanted me since that day in Gus’s shop.
My beauty possessed him, he said. He’d longed for me since then and longed for me still.
Between his words and his caresses, I kissed him back, traced my tongue against his mouth, arousing him as I brought his hand to my chest, my top still wet and soaking.
Kasem lifted me off the mat fiercely, but he was gentle when he laid me beneath him.
The kiss was fire and ice, as blinding as infinite starlight caught in a meteor shower.
Every inch of me yearned for him, for his touch and his kiss, for more and more, my desire culminating at the bliss of him grinding against me.
His hands trailed up my torn skirt, gripping my thigh before he peppered more kisses along my jawline.
His tongue tasted me, hungry and playful, teasing soft moans of pleasure from my lips.
I ran my hands along his toned chest, exploring him like a painter would a landscape, pulling him closer to me, my mouth brushing his hard surfaces and tasting salt and sweat and him. He moaned, his lashes fluttering as I brought my lips to his lower abdomen.
“I don’t have anything on me,” he said.
He drew me back, placing soft kisses on my lips and the corner of my mouth.
“I want to. Don’t get me wrong. I want you bad. But we’re rushing into things. We both know it.”
“But we don’t have time.”
“So you’re just going to hit it and quit it in case I die?” he teased.
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
Kasem laughed, kissing me again. His tongue traced my bottom lip, his hands sliding up the nape of my neck, pulling me closer as he kissed me more.
We were both breathless and shivering when we pulled apart.
It was freezing, and without each other’s warmth, the cold burrowed in our skin. Fire burned in both of us, but the reality of our situation quieted our racing hearts.
“I don’t think our wet clothes are helping.”
“No,” he admitted, “I don’t think they are.” He paused for a moment. “We’ll probably get sick if we stay in them.”
“I don’t have anything else,” I said.
But between shivering in our wet clothes, and warming each other, we chose the latter.
Kasem slipped out of his shirt, taking off his shoes and pulling down his trousers so he was just in boxers.
My cheeks burned at the sight of him, but I forced myself to look away, taking off my shoes and shimmying out of my skirt.
“Can you help me with the zip?” I asked.
“Hmm,” Kasem said, his voice low. His hand came to rest on my back, and he unzipped the top half of my set, helping me fold it with the pile of our clothes.
He drew the corner of the mat over us like a blanket, me in my sports bra and boy shorts, him in his boxers, spooning each other tenderly, the mat encasing us in a makeshift cocoon.
“Despite how these last few hours may seem,” I said, my heart fluttering with wings, my cheeks burning, “I’m not normally this… forward.”
“Why?” he teased. “Was that your first kiss? Though, I mean, I guess we’d have to count what you pulled back in the dining hall.”
I swallowed, shy suddenly.
“No,” I said. “Jojo was.”
It was probably a mistake, bringing up Jojo like this. But I didn’t want to lie to him. Not when Kasem and I had been kissing all night. Not when he thought Jojo was the one I loved.
Kasem grew quiet and I continued, trying to explain.
“It was during New Year’s Eve last year,” I said. “Our building was having a party, and the two of us ended up on this fire escape alone after I’d left it early.”
At the time, Jojo had found me perched on the higher ground of the stairwell.
As I’d descended the steps, Jojo smiled and held out his hand for me to take.
Somehow, the cheers from the floors beneath us, ringing in the New Year, drew us together.
Our kiss had been tentative and searching, nothing like the fire and moonlight of kissing Kasem.
“How about we skip the play-by-play,” he said dryly. “It’s already been a long night.”
An apology burned at my lips, but Kasem wrapped his arms around me.
“To stay warm,” he explained, almost clinically. “Jay’s out there, and we don’t know what his next move will be. But at least one of us should get some sleep.”
I pressed my eyes shut, wanting to turn to him but knowing, even in our closeness, that he wanted his space.
Outside, silence finally fell over the swamp. There was nothing but the soft chirping of crickets and the shuffling of leaves. It wasn’t until his breathing stilled to a steady rhythm and I thought he’d finally fallen asleep that I let the hot tears fall.
But his wraith did not appear. And eventually, I slept.
When morning broke and Honey returned with help, we were tangled together, my head rested on his chest, his arm wrapped gently around my waist, our fingers entwined.