Chapter Fifty-Four The green-eyed monster
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
The green-eyed monster
JOJO WAS WAITING FOR ME in the empty lecture hall.
He was dressed in silver, a perfectly tailored suit and tie, and expensive Italian leather shoes, and carried the same drinking flute that the other board of trustees members had been given, though his remained untouched.
“You’re one of them now.”
“In talks,” he said. “But it’s a formality. Whenever an heir relinquishes their claim to the estate, the Board usually swoops them up to be a token symbol of its improved race relations and as a sign that they’ve been adhering in part to the will Westfield Saint James left.”
I remembered how Kasem had mentioned some of his ancestors had entrusted the estate to their children rather than themselves.
I wondered if they too had been forced to do the ritual of disinheritance, if tragedy had struck others around them as they exchanged their lifelines.
And then, when the heir was set to die, had they watched in relief, knowing that they’d be able to finish out the rest of their lives?
“Was that before or after you found out that Alaster and the Board were trying to kill Kasem?”
Jojo hesitated.
“Why won’t you help us?” I demanded. “Kasem told me about the cost of the disinheritance ritual—that unless it kills him, you can never set foot on campus after he inherits it. And so you want him to die? Just so you can remain at Westfield?”
“Of course I don’t want him to die,” Jojo snapped. “I don’t want any of this. I came back to Westfield, even though I knew he didn’t want me here to protect him.”
“Then help us. We have until midnight for the binding ritual. I’m sure you know Kasem’s a wraith, so help us return his soul to his body so he can live once the curse breaks.”
“You don’t understand,” Jojo said.
“No, I don’t. If you want Kasem to survive today, then what’s stopping you? It’s not Westfield. It’s not Alaster. So is it about your mother? If you blame him for what happened to her because of the ritual, know he blames himself.”
“That’s not the reason either,” Jojo said. “Though I was angry at him, at both of them, for that day.”
“Then what is it, Jojo?” I said, shouting now. I thought of Kasem’s words in my dorm, how he’d admitted to Jojo being in love with me and that he was too. But that was ridiculous. “Don’t tell me it’s because of me.”
We were at the front of the lecture hall, near the projector screen and a whiteboard. Jojo approached me but I retreated. He made to speak but his breath caught, and he turned away, coughing into his hand and gasping for breath.
“It’s not because of you,” Jojo whispered. “Though sometimes I wonder myself.”
Disbelief, rage—all of it washed over me.
“Jojo, you said that it would be delusional thinking you and I could be together. Every time I’ve tried to tell you, you’ve brushed me off.”
“I know. I lied. I pretended I couldn’t see how you felt for me.
But I didn’t want you involved in this. I wanted us to be strangers.
I didn’t want you to know about the curse or my family.
And now, because of him, all of us will be punished.
Kasem will die. The blood debt will be fulfilled. And his will shall be done.”
It was the same as with Pete, that unnamed force looming over Westfield. Jojo knew, and all this time, he’d kept it a secret.
“Who is he, Jojo? Tell me,” I shouted, but Jojo didn’t seem to hear me.
He cupped my face, drew me so close that our noses touched, so that our lips were inches apart. It was jarring, seeing him this way, and knowing that something sinister was to befall Westfield.
And yet, this was what I’d longed for, for the moment where I could tell him I loved him. Never could I have imagined that he might love me too.
He leaned toward me, closing the distance between our lips. But I turned away, his mouth brushing the corner of mine, pressing a soft kiss on my cheek. I could feel him stiffen, could see the realization slowly fall over him.
“Do you love him?” he asked.
I wanted to shake him out of his stupor. Of all of the times to confess, he’d chosen now. But my heart was its own captain, and seeing Jojo like this, so vulnerable, broke something in me.
He’d asked the same question Kasem had posed to me months ago. But this time, the answer was there, a song written in my heart. Because despite how I’d denied my feelings, despite what I’d learned of Kasem and everything that had happened at Westfield, I couldn’t lie to Jojo. Not about this.
“I do,” I said simply. “I love him. I’m sorry.”
For a long moment, Jojo didn’t move. I thought he was going to try to kiss me again. And secretly, a small part of me wished he would, just so I could ensure that this wasn’t a dream and I wasn’t giving up a love that I’d built up in my head for so long.
But he pulled away, his expression grief-torn.
“Everything I love, he takes. Everything that’s meant for me, he steals.”
“You’re wrong, Jojo. Kasem never wanted Westfield.”
“I know,” he said. “That’s what makes it worse.” When he looked at me now, his gaze was fiery, wicked amusement curving across his lips. “He doesn’t care about this university or anyone in it,” Jojo said. “So what makes you think you’re any different?”
I pushed past him. “You’re just upset.”
“I’m telling you the truth, Sianna. I’m warning you. I know my brother better than anyone. He’s destructive, selfish, more selfish than anyone I know. The moment our mother was trapped in her mind because of the ritual, guess who threw her in the mental ward?”
“It was the board of trustees and the conservatorship.”
“And I tried to stop them. He just disappeared into drinking and partying—remorseless over what he’d done. He didn’t care about any of the bystander casualties the ritual caused, not even your parents.”
“You’re wrong,” I said. “I saw his past. He showed me it willingly, something you never would until now. He attended every funeral. Every single one. He donated his allowances to our families. He’s the reason I even have a scholarship here at Westfield.”
I’d seen all of it, all of the pain Kasem had felt, everything he’d ever done trying to atone for that day and how he’d never felt it was enough.
“You’re making excuses for him. You know he caused the fire—”
“I know!” I said, shouting again. “I know, all right? And I hate him for it. A part of me does. But I love him too. I know it’s horrible of me to feel this way.
But I spent years blaming myself for what happened that night, so trust me, I know what he’s going through.
Because if it wasn’t for me, my parents wouldn’t have been at Westfield that day.
Maybe none of those people would have died and my powers wouldn’t have manifested.
But if you hadn’t traded fates with Kasem, then you would be gone too, Jojo, which means none of this was ever meant to be fair. ”
Jojo was defiant. “The disinheritance ritual is a destiny swap, Sianna. Don’t you understand?
You and I are supposed to be together. All he does is take, and take, and take.
And whatever he’s told you since you’ve come here, whichever of his lies has convinced you that you could possibly love him, it’s not real.
Nothing in this place is. And when he’s used you to break the curse, he’ll throw you away. Just like he does everyone else.”
I was walking now, away from Jojo, unable to take how cruel and twisted his words were. Despite how I tried to cover my ears and dismiss them, those words were sinking into my thoughts, seeding questions and doubts.
Jojo pursued me, and we ended up at a door just outside the conservatory.
“I’m only telling you this because I love you, Sianna. I don’t want you to get hurt because of him.”
I spun, facing Jojo, my heart racing, my mind unraveling.
“I don’t care if it’s a lie or if he’s using me to break the curse and get back at you,” I said.
“I can’t let him die. I can’t. And you’re his brother.
Kasem said you hated him, but I didn’t believe it.
Until now. You resent him, Jojo. Even when you were younger, as much as you loved him as a brother, a part of you hated how he didn’t have to bear the responsibilities you did.
How he could make mistakes, mess up, and still be loved by everyone. ”
I saw it in my vision when I’d looked into Kasem’s past, and I saw it now, as Jojo drew me into his arms, desperate and pleading. My gloved hands rested against his back, his shirt riding up and exposing his bare skin. I channeled into his past while keeping one part of my mind in the present.
“I won’t come between the two of you,” I said.
“I told him that I can’t be with him. And I can tell him that I don’t love him.
Whatever you want, I’ll tell him. But you have to save him.
Angelica and Vivian are waiting in her office.
Help us perform the binding ritual. Help us keep him alive so we can break the curse.
Promise me you’ll save him. Even if it means he’ll live to inherit the Westfield estate.
Even if it means you’ll never be able to walk these grounds again. Promise me.”
Jojo’s lips parted, then he looked away, unable to meet my gaze.
“I’m an awful brother, aren’t I?” he whispered.
“He’s never felt that way,” I said as I combed his lifeline, peering into his childhood. “How could he when after you both lost your father, you worked so hard to take your dad’s place so Kasem wouldn’t know what you’d both lost?”
Jojo at ten, walking a five-year-old Kasem to a prestigious kindergarten and picking him up, day after day, while their mother remained lost in her grief.
Alaster’s father had taken the boys in and hired a nanny.
Yet Jojo would wake from bed, cook breakfast, play with a young Kasem, and help him with his studies.
All of this, I saw in the vision. All of this reminded me of why I’d fallen in love with Jojo in the first place.