18. Andrea
18
Andrea
L ooks like it’ll be another sleepless night for me. The sky here is so beautiful but I have stared at it every night for the past week. Ever since that night on the piano with he who shall not be named.
Rejection from a man never bothered me before. I actually preferred it, so I didn’t have to be the one to say I’m not interested. There have even been moments in my life where I thought I might have been interested in women. But even in my exploration of that, I was left with nothing. No feelings of being in love.
I thought my emotions for Zach would have been different since there was love there before we started taking things further. However, the love that was there only stayed the same. It never progressed into the love of a partner.
Of course, the universe would play this sick joke on me. The one male I think could hold my heart is absolutely disgusted by me.
Flipping over to my back, I stare at the moonlit ceiling of my room in the Forsaken.
“What is my life?” I whisper to myself as I force my eyes closed to fall asleep so I don’t have to keep thinking of those sapphire eyes illuminating through black, writhing shadows.
Andrea
My eyes pop open at the sound of someone whispering my name. I don’t move. My eyes dart from side to side but there is no one in my room. A few seconds pass, but there is only silence. Before I close my eyes again, I hear the whisper of my name, clearer this time.
My heart drops as I don’t recognize the voice I think is coming from outside my door. I swear on everything I love that if there is a ghost in this manor, I am packing my bags and leaving tomorrow. Witchy spells, lighting candles, fallen angels, you name it and I can take it. Ghosts are where I draw the line!
The wooden floor is warm under my bare feet as I rise from the bed. My heart is racing, but I can’t ignore the pulling sensation in my gut.
Peeking my head out of my bedroom door, I’m met with an empty hallway.
Andrea. Andrea. Andrea.
I jump back into my room, shutting the door and putting my back against it. I heard a whisper from across the hall, but there is no one in the room across from me. The owner of that room hasn’t stepped foot in this house for a week.
I would know if he was here.
Don’t ask me how.
Taking a deep breath, I try to calm my galloping heart.
“You can do this. There aren’t any ghosts here,” I whisper to myself as I close my eyes and slowly pull the door open again. I open one eye to peek outside my door, still nothing in the hall. Tiptoeing forward, I reach the door across from mine and place my ear on it to listen.
Andrea
I hear my name again, even louder. I swallow my fear and turn the knob. Surprisingly, it’s unlocked. Once I open the door, the pull in my gut nearly has me stumbling into the room. It’s empty and just as I remember it from the last time I was snooping and was somehow caught later that day.
I really shouldn’t be in here. He will know I was here from whatever scent I leave. Turning to leave, my name is whispered so loud it sounds as if it’s being spoken directly in my ear. My heart is beating so hard I can hear the pulse in my ears.
My eyes close as I take another deep breath and allow whatever pull I’m sensing to guide me with my hand outstretched. Only a few steps into the room, my fingers gently stop upon what feels like a small knob.
My eyes open to my hand resting on the knob of a drawer connected to a dresser deep in Ash’s room. The wooden dresser seems to be antique, but it’s in impeccable condition.
My fingers tingle as I try to open it, but it’s locked. Looking around, I start rummaging through the other drawers and all the places where someone could hide a key. Nothing.
I run my hands down my face, exhausted by the wild things I encounter here. My fingers tingle the same way they do when Salem has me practicing moving things with my magic.
Glancing from my fingertips to the knob a few times, I check around me once more before I grab the knob again. I close my eyes and imagine a lock before me. I morph the magic flowing through my brain into a key and slide it into the lock, slowly turning it until I hear a click.
The buzzing in my fingers stops.
Opening my eyes, I gently pull on the dresser and it opens with ease. My triumphant smile fades quickly as I look at the small wooden box that sits perfectly in this drawer. Intricate gold detail trims the brown box. It looks to be very antique as well, but just like the dresser, in perfect condition.
Carefully picking it up, there isn’t any other word to describe the feeling in my hands other than right. It just feels right . Like I am holding something that has always belonged to me.
Like finding your old favorite toy.
I release the big breath I sucked in and slowly open the lid. A single gold locket sits perfectly on a bed of baby blue velvet. The air in the room stills. The pull in my gut dissipates.
True and utter silence falls upon me as I take in the locket, one single initial engraved in gold.
C
Chills snake down my spine at what I might be holding.
Did this belong to her ?
As soon as my fingers touch the locket, heat travels up my arms as if they are being licked by flames. My vision goes black and memories flash through a roaring flame surrounding me. There are unfamiliar faces and… Ash.
He’s different. He doesn’t have tattoos or shadows circling his wings, and—and he’s smiling. He’s smiling a much bigger smile than I have ever seen from him.
These aren’t my memories. They are Caroline’s.
My heart painfully races as I try to snap out of whatever this is. The flames surrounding me are drawing closer and closer. The heat becomes unbearable as the fire burns my skin.
I’m trying to scream, trying to move but my hands are tied behind me. Smoke fills my lungs. I writhe and yank against the tight ropes. Something drips down my hands from my wrist. I know it’s my blood from the raw pain I feel as the rope digs deeper into my skin.
Please help! Anyone! Please!
Trying to force the words out of my mouth, my throat burns from the smoke of my burning skin filling every airway.
“Andrea!” a voice calls from far away but I’m too weak to try to move toward it. “Andrea!” The flames disappear and the darkness slowly recedes into the box it sprung from.
My eyes pop open as I collapse and gasp for clean air. My wide eyes check my arms and body as my chest rapidly moves from hyperventilating.
“You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re here with me.” A cool breeze coats my skin at the words and the voice they came from. I find those familiar blue eyes that are filled with worry right in front of me.
I stare at his hands that are resting on my biceps. Fear and anger fight for dominance within me. I push the memories I just witnessed aside and let my own flood in.
“Do not touch me.” I push away from Ash and stand on shaky legs. The adrenaline is leaving my body now. Before he can say anything, I storm out of his room and into mine. I lean against the closed door and slide down it.
Everything hits me at once, my feelings, her feelings that are still lingering, all of it. The only thing I force my body to do is curl into a fetal position and let the pain ravage it.
–
Brielle’s words to Salem and me are muffled as I stare blankly out of the balcony doors in the library. The sky here has the most beautifully vibrant colors at sunset.
Salem has been teaching me new spells ever since I told her about finding that locket three nights ago, against my will might I add. She said she sensed the power shift within me the next day and forced me to spill.
I made her swear not to tell Brielle. My chest tightens with the guilt of withholding so much from my best friend but I can’t even look at her without tears threatening to fall.
The dark shadows under her eyes tell me all I need to know about how much sleep she has been getting. Her once curvy body has shrunk down a few sizes from her appetite being nonexistent.
Watching her wither away these seven weeks brings me back to that dark place she was in when she lost her mom. The one thing I was scared of happening has happened and I don’t know if she will survive much longer this time.
“Right, Andrea?” Brielle asks with a slightly louder tone, pulling my attention away from the vibrant skies.
“Huh? Uh, yeah. Yes, right.” I straighten and smile, trying hard to remember what they were talking about. My eyes bounce between Salem and Brielle in the armed chairs before me as they burst out laughing. Salem’s head falls back as she holds her stomach that is shaking with laughter, Brielle just wipes a tear away from her eye as she continues to giggle.
“So you agree that Azra has very impressive ‘junk?’” Salem forces out as she wipes her own tears from laughing.
“Oh, God. Please don’t make me think about that.” I squeeze my eyes closed as I try to erase that memory from my brain.
“You should have been listening then.” Brielle giggles again. “We were talking about how different sex is with supernatural beings. Who knows, you might find yourself an eligible bachelor here.” Brielle’s brows wiggle as Salem purses her lips with a smirk.
My cheeks heat at the image of Ash between my legs. My molars squeeze and I take in a small breath, forcing a smile on my face.
“Maybe.” I shrug my shoulders as a fake giggle comes out. My stomach is already turning from the thought of a particular supernatural being I wish I would have never met.
Do I really wish that, though?
Maybe that’s why he makes me so angry because regardless of the things he has done to me, I’m still drawn to him. Like a moth to a flame.
Zach’s defeated face also flashes through my mind. I should have known better, I should have known this time wouldn’t have been different. I am incapable of being in love.
“Are you dating anyone?” I ask Salem, anything to get out of my thoughts.
“God, no.” She shakes her head but her expression is telling me something different from what she is trying to portray with her tone. Her brows pinch as she glances toward the ground for a second. “Kai wouldn’t allow it, anyway.” She swallows and shrugs with a fake smile on her face.
“What do you mean ‘won’t allow it?’ He shouldn’t have a say over that.” Brielle’s face is taken over by a scowl as she crosses her arms over her chest.
“You know how vamps can be, especially old grumpy ones.” Salem mumbles, tucking her bright red hair behind her very pierced ear.
“You can talk to us, we have all been through our fair share of shit when it comes to supernatural dick heads.” Brielle rolls her eyes and looks at me, I know she is referring to Ash but I keep my gaze on Salem.
“He’s just very possessive. The last boyfriend I had, he drained him dry because I didn’t answer my phone when he called while I was on a date.” She rolls her eyes and leans back in the red velvet chair her hair blends into. “Kai said he specifically sought me out because I had no family and would be easily disposable if I stepped out of line.”
Her jaw tightens as a distant stare takes over her brown eyes. I try to swallow the painful lump in my throat at her solemn face.
“What happened to your family? If you don’t mind talking about them, we would love to hear about them.” Brielle leans to the side and places her thin hand on Salem’s knee. She always wanted to keep the memory of her mother alive, so I know Brielle is speaking out of a place of understanding.
“Thanks, but there really isn’t much to share about them. My mom sold me to a demon before I was even conceived for dark magic that eventually just killed her, anyway. Whatever sperm donor she found to get me never bothered to meet me. My grandmother spent years unraveling the ties on me with a voodoo witch in the French Quarter and she raised me until she passed away when I was seventeen. Been on my own for eleven years now.” She shrugs and releases a sigh.
I notice she has the same numb stare that Brielle has had more often lately. My heart sinks at the thought of having no one. Yes, Brielle lost her mom, but she had me, she had Zach and his dad. Salem had no one.
“Well, now you have us.” I smile and tilt my head. Her eyes soften as she returns my smile with a small grin.
A strange feeling has my attention on the balcony doors of the library. The sun has just gone down over the horizon but it seems darker than normal. Eerie almost.
Suddenly, my body feels paralyzed. The magic I have been noticing these past few weeks goes still.
“Everything okay, Andrea?” Brielle asks. My eyes slowly slide over to her pinched expression.
“Something’s here.”