Chapter 67 All The More
All The More
Connor
We grab a two-top table at Maisie’s favorite ice cream joint.
Moose Tracks for her and plain vanilla for me.
Although I know I’ll need to work through the events of the day—and I will with Donny at our next session, and for a long time after—right now, all I can think about is the fact that Maisie loves me.
I hate to admit it, but I was starting to worry those words may never come. Or, if they did, that it would be much further down the line. But they’re here; she said them, and I will treasure them forever. And prove to her each and every day that I am worthy to be trusted with them.
I can finally tell her everything. So, once we’re settled in and a scoop of ice cream is hovering at her luscious lips, I say, “I’ve loved you since move-in day.
I saw you from across the parking lot and was taken aback by how beautiful you were, but what really drew me in was your smile.
You smile with your whole being, love. And when I saw your eyes, they had a spike of anxiety but also a kindness that reached into my soul.
I knew I needed to know you. Then, when fate intervened and you were on the same team as me, I made sure to talk to you.
It was like my whole body was naturally pulled toward you. ”
Her mouth full of ice cream, her eyes widen. She reaches out to take my hand as she rushes to swallow. “Wait. You saw me on move-in day?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. “Grandpa always said he knew the moment he first laid eyes on Grandma. I always thought it was a load of shit, to be honest, until that moment.”
Her eyes gleam.
“And it absolutely killed me when I found out you had a boyfriend. I knew he wasn’t good enough for you, and watching and waiting for you to realize that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
She’s leaning forward, and I reach out to brush a lock of her hair behind her ear. I don’t want it to get in her ice cream.
“I’m sorry I was ever with him,” she says melancholily, looking away.
“Hey.” I cup her chin and gently turn her back to me. “You did nothing wrong. That was on him, and I promise to continue earning your trust every day to prove I’m nothing like him.”
She reaches up to wrap a hand around the wrist of my outstretched arm. “I know,” she says with a wistful smile. “I really know, and I’m so glad to be with you. I don’t even know how to express how glad. How much I love you.”
I close my eyes and revel in the words again. Feeling them loop around my heart and squeeze. I won’t ever tire of hearing them.
“Can I ask you a question?” she says.
“Anything.”
“Why didn’t you talk to me for those few weeks?”
I wince. “Oh, love, I’m so sorry. That was me being beyond stupid.
I was in love with you, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by telling you how much I liked you.
The guys told me to tell you I had a date—it was always a fake date—to see how you would react.
When I told you that night, you didn’t seem upset about it, and I thought… Ugh.”
I swipe a hand through my hair. I can’t believe what an idiot I was to ever lose out on time with her.
“It seemed you only ever thought of me as a friend, and that felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I never planned to stay away as long as I did. I only hoped a bit of space would allow me to get over the fact that you didn’t like me like that.
That I could eventually be okay enough to be only your friend.
Although, in my heart of hearts, I knew I never would be because I’ve always wanted more with you, love. ”
She bursts out laughing. So hard that the table shakes from where her foot vibrates against it.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, not sure how to interpret the reaction.
“So there was never a real date?” She laughs some more.
“Uh…no.” What is happening in that beautiful brain of hers?
“First of all, I did care. I cared a hell of a lot. I hated the idea of you going on a date with someone else, and I didn’t understand why that meant you couldn’t talk to me.
I was beyond jealous and missed you so much.
Secondly, I thought you and Veronica were dating.
What with the flirting at the pool, and then the coffee shop, and all.
But when I went to the Halloween party…” She covers her eyes with her hands, then scrubs them down her face.
“I accused Veronica of cheating on you, but she said the guy she was with was her boyfriend. It was so embarrassing, but it didn’t help the situation any more because then I figured you went out with someone I didn’t even know. ”
I grab both her hands in mine, squeezing them tenderly. This woman. We could have saved ourselves so much pain and heartache. But I’m thankful. For all of it. Because it got us here, together. And in the end, that’s all that matters.
“I’m sorry you ever spent one minute thinking I wanted someone who wasn’t you.
You are my best friend, Maize, but you’re so much more.
You always have been, and you always will be.
” I reach across the table to wrap my hand around the back of her neck and pull her into a searing kiss.
I don’t want her to ever doubt my feelings for her.
“Wanna take this to go and head back to my place? I’m sure everyone is still at the pool. ”
Her eyes light up, and she nods, already excitedly jumping out of her chair. She does, however, bring her ice cream to the front and swiftly ask for a to-go container. Maisie would never leave ice cream behind, not even for the promise of sex. And I love her all the more for it.
We leave hand in hand, and I thank my lucky stars that this woman chose me. And when we get back to my place, I show her just how much. Over and over. All night long.