Chapter 12
COOPER
Eighteen months ago
It might have been an awkward way to meet Sam, but it’s nice to finally thank her in person for making my best friend the happiest I’ve ever seen him. The first time he ever told me about her, I knew that this was it for him—and that it was going to end with a walk down the aisle.
As I go inside—after a disastrous introduction to Stephanie—my heart can’t help but ache a little bit. I want what Deacon has: a woman he adores, who loves him back, and a little girl like Lou to dote on every day. But as much as I want it, I’m not sure it’s in the cards for me.
What is in the cards for me is setting up a few dates with the three most-important women in my life.
I go to the back bedroom for some privacy, make the calls, and head into the kitchen to grab some food. After a thirty-minute nap on the couch, I end the afternoon with a stroll down the beach.
As I enjoy the view, I overhear Lou’s laugh and find myself following the unrestrained sound once more. Before I get close enough to see her, I hear another voice talking.
“I know she thinks he’s perfect for me, but it’s not going to happen.”
I come around a bend in the beach and see Stephanie sitting on a bench with her back to me, talking on the phone while watching Lou on the playground.
“I’m sure Susan will be sad about it, Nana, but her grandson was a terrible date.”
I don’t want to interrupt her call, so I decide to stay back while she finishes.
“For starters, he talked about himself the whole time, mansplained everything, and flirted with the waitress. And at the end of the night, he thought I should invite him in ‘so we could get to know each other on an elemental level.’ He was so gross.” I can’t help but smile at her tone of voice.
It’s very energetic and leaves nothing to the imagination as far as what she thinks about the situation.
There’s a transparency to it that’s different from—but somehow similar to—how she acted when we first met, and I find that refreshing.
“I don’t know, Nana.” She lets out an exasperated huff. “I’m starting to lose my faith in men. I used to have a list of requirements, but at this point, I’d settle for the I-only-have-eyes-for-you kind of guy. Turns out to be harder than you’d think.”
She lets out a small laugh at whatever her Nana says.
“If you think it’s that important, I’ll add killer abs to my list.” She laughs again, but this time with a more robust sound that puts a smile on my face.
“Nana, no! That is not what the kids are calling it these days!” She laughs even harder.
“How do you even know that phrase? And you shouldn’t use it till you know what it means!
” She’s laughing so hard that she reaches up to wipe a tear from her eye.
“I take that back: you shouldn’t use it at all! ”
The smile I hear in Stephanie’s laugh fills me from the inside out.
If I were ever chilly, all I would need to do is sit next to her while she’s laughing—the effect would be better than hot chocolate and a roaring fire.
I can’t wipe the smile off my face as I watch her.
I want to listen to her talk to her nana for hours.
“Fine, if it makes you happy, I’ll add nice legs to my list too.
” She laughs so hard at whatever Nana says that she actually snorts, which makes my smile grow even more, and a laugh almost escapes my lips.
“Stop saying that! No one wants to hear their nana talk about things like that. And no, I won’t add that to my list.”
I want to study her face to see if she has laugh lines around her eyes.
I’ll bet she does. I want to ask her if she’s really as scandalized by her nana as she’s letting on or if she’s pretending a little to bring some zing into an older woman’s life.
And even though I’ve never met her, I already know I’d love her nana.
Lou runs over and sits on Stephanie’s lap, and I’m stunned.
I’d momentarily forgotten Lou was there.
When was the last time someone held my attention when Lou was around?
The answer might be never. An inner part of my brain begins analyzing what this might mean, and now I need to get to know everything about Stephanie: What does she like to do when it’s raining outside?
What was the last book she read? Does she ever eat cinnamon rolls after midnight?
What’s the hardest thing she’s ever done?
When she cries, does she like to be held or left alone?
For some reason, these are the first questions that pop into my mind, but I want answers to them all—as well as a million more.
I realize that what started out as politely waiting has turned into eavesdropping, but I’m not sure what to do at this point. They still haven’t noticed me.
“Nana, Lou just walked over. We can FaceTime if you want.”
I hear the FaceTime ringtone. “Nana!” Lou squeals with delight. “Where are you right now?” Stephanie readjusts herself on the bench, and when she settles, I can finally see her face. Or at least her profile.
“Hello, my little Lou. I’m at the hospital because I fell down and they need to patch me up.”
“Do you need me to come give you a kiss better? I think Fanny would drive me?—”
“Fanny! That’s a great idea, Lou.” Nana breaks into Lou’s comment. “Stephanie, you need to put great butt on your list too.”
“No, Nana!” Stephanie quickly jumps in before Nana can elaborate. “She’s not talking about that kind of fanny! Lou calls me Fanny: Steph-phanie.” She says the last part of her name slowly. “As in Fanny.”
Lou isn’t deterred at all by Nana and Stephanie’s side conversation. “I can’t visit you today because Dee-dee and Penelope are getting married. I get to carry flowers and everything.”
Lou goes on for a few more minutes, but instead of watching her, I watch Stephanie—who is watching Lou.
She’s running her fingers through Lou’s golden hair while smiling down at her.
I want to go sit with them. All three of us together, sitting and laughing at everything.
The picture it makes in my mind creates a pleasant sensation in my gut. It’s unfamiliar, but I like it.
It’s not a cool thing to do, but I take out my phone and snap a picture.
Lou finally finishes giving Nana all the details.
“Okay, Lou, it’s time to say goodbye to Nana.”
“Bye-bye, Nana.” Lou leans in and kisses Stephanie’s phone screen. “I will make a card for you and send it to you by the mailbox.”
“Bye, Lou. And goodbye to you too, Stephanie. Remember, if you see a good looking man, go ahead and?—”
“Goodbye, Nana!” Stephanie quickly disconnects the call.
Lou looks up at Stephanie with a quizzical look. “Fanny, what are you supposed to do when you see a good looking man?”
Even though I can only see her in profile, Stephanie looks terrified to answer, and I hold in a laugh. I can tell she would be terrible in a game of poker.
“You should just . . . shake his hand and say hello.”
“Do you shake your boyfriend’s hand?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend anymore.” There’s a sadness in her voice.
Lou turns around and squishes Stephanie’s cheeks, giving her fish lips.
“But did you love him? Dee-dee says he loves Penelope big and they are getting married. If you still love him, maybe you can get married too, and then you could see him all the time and shake his hand whenever you want!” Lou is very proud of her reasoning.
Stephanie speaks through her fish lips. “Sorry, Lou. No hand shaking for me.” Stephanie gives Lou’s nose a little boop.
“Then you can marry someone else. Who do you want to marry?”
“Most important is that he needs to love kids—especially you—because you’re the best kid out there.
” Stephanie holds Lou’s hand as they walk to the swings.
“I don’t need money or a big diamond ring.
” When she starts talking again, it’s mostly to herself.
“I simply want someone to love me, and only me. And have it be for who I am and nothing more.”
I decide to not disturb them and quietly make my way back to the condo, Stephanie’s words ringing in my ears: have it be for who I am and nothing more.
Apparently I’m not the only one who struggles with that.
I take out my phone and send a text to the family text thread.
Me
You might be interested to know that I just met my future wife. Okay, not really. But I did meet someone that I’m actually interested in. So be prepared. Hell might be freezing over any minute.
I include the picture of Stephanie with Lou sitting on her lap.
“Hey there. You look deep in thought.” The voice makes me jump, and I spin around to find Amber, Deke’s sister and Lou’s mom, rocking back and forth in a hammock. There’s a twinkle in her eye as she stands up to greet me.
I pull her into a bear hug. “I was wondering where you were.” I hold onto her for a few seconds before letting go and standing back to get a good look at her.
Amber’s light-brown hair comes to her shoulders and looks as thick as it did before she started chemo.
The olive coloring in her skin looks healthier than it did the last time I was here, and she hasn’t lost too much weight.
After thoroughly assessing her, I nod my head like I’m pleased with what I see. “You look pretty good.”
“Wow, no wonder the gentler sex loves you so much. With compliments like that, how can they resist?”
“You know what I mean.” I give her an exasperated look. “Let’s sit down and you can tell me how you’re doing.”
We thought she’d beaten the cancer she was diagnosed with a few months after Lou was born, but it came back with a vengeance. We all know the disease is going to win at some point, so her only plan is to spend as much quality time with Lou as she can.
We get situated on the hammock together, Amber leaning up against me and my arm wrapped around her shoulders. I lean over and kiss the top of her head.
“I’m doing pretty good right now. Still tired all the time, but overall it could be worse.”