Chapter 13
STEPHANIE
Present day
“—but the next day I ate an only-green one, and my tongue turned green. Once I had a white one,” Lou spins in a circle as we walk, “and my tongue stayed the same color. That wasn’t as fun, so that’s why my favorite is all the colors but white.
” Her voice implies that this information is very valuable.
Lou and I are on a date. We picked up flowers to place on her mom’s grave, then, on the way to the beach-side cemetery, we stopped and got shaved ice, which inspired Lou to tell me about every food that changes the color of her tongue.
As we round the bend in the path of the cemetery and come to her mom’s gravesite, she sticks her little tongue out as far as it will go. “Uht kolr es my tug nah?”
“Still dark purple.”
Lou runs toward where Amber is buried, under a large tree that gives shade to the entire area.
Amber’s headstone wasn’t here the last time I visited the cemetery, but it’s now in place and is absolutely beautiful.
The stone is a light color that isn’t quite white—but it isn’t fully pink either.
It’s clean and feminine. “Amber King Huntsman” is carved near the top, with “Daughter, Wife, Sister, Mother, Friend” carved under it.
Her birth and death dates are listed below.
Coming off the left side of the headstone is a small stone bench that Lou is already sitting on.
She’s sticking her tongue out while telling her mom about her shaved-ice flavors.
Engraved on the edge of the bench are the words “Please sit awhile and rest from your burdens.”
I’m struck with so many emotions as I read it.
That one sentence sums up both the concept of resting while sitting down and Amber as a person.
Being with her was a shelter from any storm.
She was, in essence, a rest from any burdens.
I only knew her for eleven months before the cancer took her, but in that time, we became incredibly close.
She was a lifeline as I dealt with the fallout from so many disappointments and emotional gut punches.
As I stand back, watching Lou continue to chat with her mom, I’m so touched by how comfortable Lou is here.
But at the same time, it shouldn’t be a surprise.
Amber, Deke, and Sam were very open with Lou and prepared her the best they could for what it was going to be like to lose her mom.
As Lou continues to chat with Amber, she adjusts her body so that she’s lying on her tummy, her hands under her chin, knees bent, and feet slowly kicking back and forth in the air.
I notice, for the first time, five highly polished, deep-red rocks set into Amber’s headstone. Each one is around two-inches tall and (generally speaking) oval shaped. They’re equally spaced apart in a gentle curve above Amber’s name.
I approach to get a better look and notice that they aren’t rocks at all, but some kind of gemstone.
The red is strikingly dark and vibrant. With the reflecting sun, they each appear to be filled with fire, and their insides resemble a slow, churning line of lava.
They look alive in this light, and I can’t help but reach out and touch each one.
“They are as pretty as my mom.”
I look up to see Lou watching me.
“My mom’s name is Amber. A-M-B-E-R. That’s why there are five.
One for each letter. And they are my mom’s favorite color,” she drags favorite out a little, “and so pretty. They make me happy when I look at them. Just like when I looked at my mom and it made me so happy.” She reaches from her place on the bench and touches the stone closest to her. Her face is shining.
“They’re perfect.” I’m so moved by not only Lou’s reasoning for the stones but also how perfect her words are for her mom. “You’re pretty perfect too.” I lean over and give Lou a kiss on the top of her head, making her giggle a little. “Do you know where they came from?”
Her voice drops to a whisper, and her eyes grow wide. “I think I wished them here.” She sits up. “I saw a picture of one when I was on glue-gle. I said they were so pretty like my mom, and now they are here.”
“You wished them here?” I match her whispered tone. “And you found them on glue-gle? What’s that?”
She’s radiating energy. “It’s this really neat place where you can look up anything you want.
You can see pictures,” she counts each item off on her fingers, “or find out how crayons are made, or watch Taylor Swift videos, or find coloring pages, or anything in the entire world! It’s so cool, but Dee-Dee says I can only look on glue-gle with a grown-up.
You wanna look stuff up with me? It’s on your phone. ”
“Do you mean Google?”
“Yeah. Glue-gle.”
I bite my lips to conceal my forming smile. “Sounds great. How about tonight after dinner?”
“She can’t. She’s got a date with me after dinner.” My head whips around toward the voice. It’s Mallory. I jump to my feet, but no words come to mind and my jaw hangs open in shock.
I’ve been avoiding him as much as I could since yesterday—after the whole bedroom then Icefall incident—but now he’s sitting under a tree about thirty-five feet away.
He’s damp and seems to be radiating heat, his white tank top clinging to his skin; it’s obvious he’s been running.
He stands and runs his fingers through his sweaty hair, making it look somehow perfect and perfectly disheveled at the same time. I hate how he can do that.
“JUMPER!” Lou runs over and flies into his outstretched arms. She scrunches up her nose. “You smell funny.” She holds her hands away from his body, so she won’t touch him. “And you’re kinda sticky.”
“Sorry, Lou. That’s because I’ve been running.” He sets her down and uses the bottom of his tank top to wipe his forehead, exposing his abs. Somewhere in the distance, I hear a multitude of female angels singing praises to his name.
“Mallory.” My voice has a cooler undertone than I intend, as I’m focusing on looking him straight in the eye instead of perusing his chest and arm tattoo like I want to. “Were you eavesdropping on us?”
He gives a humorless laugh. “I ran here and sat under the tree. You showed up one minute later. It’s that simple. I wanted you to have a moment with Lou, so I stayed quiet.” He lifts one of his shoulders. “I meant no offense, Stephanie, but you always assume I do.”
“Can she come on our date too?” Lou jumps into the conversation, taking hold of Mallory’s hand and looking back and forth between the two of us.
Mallory’s eyes slowly travel over my face before looking back down to Lou. “I’m not sure that’s the best idea.”
“Why?” Her innocent eyes look at me as she reaches up with her little hand and grasps onto one of my fingers, creating a chain from Mallory, to her, to me.
“We are going on a snorkel date after dinner. Dates with Jumper are so much fun.” She swings her hands back and forth while looking into his ridiculously handsome face.
“You said you love her. So if she comes with us, she will fall in love with you too, and when you get married, you can live with us forever!”
Mallory’s eyes fly to mine, and they look panic stricken. Nice. Not the only one caught off guard.
Mallory and I stand stunned, with no clue how to reply to Lou.
Lou continues standing and swinging our hands back and forth while looking between us with the sweetest smile on her face.
“This is fun!” She squeals a little as she says it.
After a moment more, her eyes travel up to mine.
“You’re going to love our date tonight. I’m going to go back to the car now.
” Then she skips back down the path toward my car, leaving Mallory and I in the aftermath of a strange train wreck.
“I . . . I didn’t say . . .” Mallory seems to be breaking into another sweat. “I mean, I never . . .” He makes an indecipherable noise.
A small laugh slips out. “Don’t worry, Mallory, your reputation is still firmly in place. Heaven help the female population if you start throwing around the L-word.”
“I didn’t say what she said.” He runs a hand through his hair again.
“Isn’t that what I just implied?”
He gestures toward me. “Yeah, right. I just wanted to clarify that?—”
“You wanted to clarify that you don’t love me?” My chin dips as I observe him. “Considering our history, I didn’t think that needed clarification.” There’s a brief, uncomfortable pause.
“See you later tonight.” He turns and walks away.
I fold my arms across my chest in defiance. “Mallory, what makes you think I’m going to go with you tonight?”
He stops walking. When he turns around, he has a small but sad smile on his face.
“Because I know you’d do anything for Lou, and she wants you there.
” His eyes slowly roam over my face again.
He’s not even being subtle about it. It makes me very selfconscious, and heat rises in my cheeks.
It’s almost . . . intimate, but in a sad way, like he’s lost something.
Then he gives one small nod and turns to jog away.
That was the most confusing encounter with Mallory I’ve ever had.
What the itchy sweater?