Chapter 36
STEPHANIE
Once inside the tech booth, Alyssa abruptly shuts the door and fixes me with a look. “WHAT in the world is going on?” Her eyes are wild.
“What? Is something wrong?” I look around.
“I’m talking about you and Cooper. You weren’t behind us when we left the lobby, so I came back to find you. He had you pinned against the wall and was coming in for something I thought was going to burn the building down.”
“You saw that?” At her nod, I let my face fall into my hands, and my entire body burns with embarrassment.
“I didn’t stick around, so I don’t know if there are scorch marks on the wall, but you’ve gotta tell me what’s going on.”
“We didn’t actually kiss!” This is the lamest defense, but it’s all I can think of.
“But did you want to?” She takes my lack of response as confirmation, and her jaw drops open, mirroring Melodie’s from ten minutes ago.
“Stephanie, if you really like him, there’s nothing to be worried about.
But the last time we talked about Cooper Mallory, the heat I sensed was all because of how much you disliked him—not from the sexual tension I just witnessed. ”
“Alyssa, I’m in so much trouble.” My body shrinks in on itself, but I can’t help a very small smile from surfacing.
Her worried face dissolves into glee as she wraps me up in a hug. “Are you serious right now? What happened? And when did it happen?” She sits me down on one of the chairs and takes another, curling her feet under her like she’s waiting for a bedtime story.
“I don’t know how to answer that. Honestly, it’s been coming on since the day we met; sometimes it seems like yesterday.”
“But when did things change?”
“Oh. I guess it was yesterday.” Alyssa cracks, and I’m left trying to understand how so much changed so quickly. “Or, I guess it was actually the day before that.”
“So, you’re telling me that you two conjured up that kind of chemistry in two days?” She fans herself with her hand.
“No. The day before yesterday was when I realized I’ve been wrong about him. The chemistry’s been there longer than I want to admit—at least on my side.” I blush at the thought and fill her in on what she’s missed, including what went down in the parking garage before she saw us in the lobby.
“So you guys are going to pretend to be a couple around Chase?”
“Basically, yes.”
“But in the lobby, you two were alone and Chase was with the rest of us, so what was that about?”
“That’s what I’d like to know! I have no idea what was going on, but whatever it was, I wasn’t going to stop it.” I lift a shoulder, then let it drop. “Like I said, I’m in trouble.”
“Does he want you guys to be a couple for real?”
“I have no idea. For all I know, he’s a casual kisser, and that’s all it was to him.
But, Alyssa, there have been times over the last day or so when I think .
. . I mean, I’ve wondered if he might . .
. It’s so hard to wrap my head around everything, and I might be imagining things, but I’ve wondered, a few times, if he might be a little interested.
” I take in a large breath and blow it out.
“But I’m also terrified. There are a lot of things I still don’t know about him. ”
My mind quickly compiles a random list of things I want to know about Cooper, but it comes to a screeching halt when his barb from last week resurfaces: you looked as happy as I’ve ever seen any woman waking up in my bed.
I throw my face into my hands. “What am I thinking?”
Alyssa immediately slides off her chair and crouches down at my feet. “What are you talking about? Steph, are you okay?”
“You know what,” I stand up and start desperately backpedaling, “now that I think about it, it really wasn’t a big deal. We were putting on a show for Chase. That’s it. And I’m not interested in Mallory.”
“I don’t think you mean that.” She scrutinizes my face as she slowly sits back down. “Because as soon as you mentioned not being interested, you looked like someone shot your dog.”
A groan escapes. “I can’t let myself fall for Cooper Mallory! His expectation is going to be the same as Chase’s, and I’m not willing to compromise about that.”
“Do you know that? Have you asked him about it?”
“Have I casually slipped ‘Would you expect to sleep with someone before marriage?’ into conversation between dinner two nights ago and right now? No. It hasn’t come up.” My voice drips with sarcasm.
“It might be worth the awkward conversation.”
“Also”—my emotions are so strung out that I actually begin to cry—“I lost my tan Louboutins.”
“The Louboutins you were wearing yesterday? Your first ones?” She knows the significance.
“Yes.” She wraps me in a much-needed hug, making the tears flow even more.
“I was with Cooper and his sister, so I couldn’t really react that much.
But to make matters worse, Cooper bought me a really nice pair of shoes in the middle of the night that were already on the kitchen counter this morning. ”
“I’m sorry.” She finds a box of tissues and gives it to me.
“They were Jimmy Choos.” I start wiping at my cheeks and nose. “I’m so stupid for reacting like this. I keep telling myself, ‘It’s only shoes, and he’s not asked for anything in return,’ but it’s so hard to fight my instincts.”
“To anyone else it would sound stupid, but I know your history. Poor Cooper. He didn’t know what he was doing, did he?
” She squeezes me even tighter, then sits back on her chair while I gather my composure.
“I can only guess how destructive the first thing that went through your head was when you found out they were from him.”
“Yeah, it was pretty bad. I’m trying to push those thoughts away and give him the benefit of the doubt until there’s a time we can talk about it, but if I can’t see a potential relationship with him, why would I?—”
At that moment, someone knocks on the door, and Cooper opens it and steps in.
“Alyssa, sorry to bother you two, but McKay needs you to show Chase some stuff about lighting. I was sent as the errand boy. Are you two done in here?”
Alyssa lifts an eyebrow at me. “I don’t know. Are we?”
Cooper notices I’ve been crying and drops down in front of me, checking me over from head to toe. “Stephanie? What’s wrong?”
“I’ll take that as my cue to leave.” Alyssa steps out and leaves the two of us alone.
My mind is swimming, and I’m having a hard time containing my emotions.
“Are you okay?” He’s brimming with concern. “What’s wrong?” He scans the booth, as if he’ll spy whatever it was that affected me so much.
“No, I’m good.” Ugh. Even I can hear how canned that sounded. Everyone is right: I can’t conceal my emotions.
“You’re not, but that’s okay. Do you want to leave? Or do you want to stay?”
“I want . . .” What do I want? I don’t want to get into another relationship with lopsided expectations and end up getting my heart broken again.
“Stephanie?” He’s waiting for an answer.
I’m too emotionally tapped out to have the conversation with him right now. “I’m going to head out.” I step around Cooper and out of the tech booth. “Will you let them know I left?”
“I’ll come with you. Let me tell them we’re going.” He starts to rush ahead, but I stop him.
“Mallory . . .” I desperately want to stop the words from coming out of my mouth, but I sense what’s coming. There are times when my internal filter is broken—and this is about to be one of them. “Have you slept with a lot of women? Is that something you expect when you date someone?”
I wish a giant hole would open up and swallow me right now.
Cooper stops dead, his face completely blank—no emotion, no reaction, nothing. He stands there, frozen.
I’m so humiliated at flinging out such a wildly inappropriate question that I turn and bolt for the front doors. I hear Cooper’s footsteps behind me, so I try to walk faster.
Right as I get through the front door, he catches up and plants himself in front of me. I try to dodge him, but he moves again. “Please let me go. I’m so embarrassed.”
“I’m sorry about my lack of response, but your question came out of nowhere, and I was taken by surprise.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t control my brain sometimes and words come spilling out—even if I don’t want them to.” My words come out sharper than I intend.
“I need some more context here. That’s an incredibly personal question to throw out.”
“I know!” My voice is raised, not out of defensiveness but in frustration at myself. “I shouldn’t have asked it.”
“Stephanie, what’s wrong? Was it Chase? I swear to you,” he looks back through the door, eyes scanning the walls as if searching for Chase, “if he’s done anything to hurt you again . . .” He doesn’t finish his sentence.
He knows. I’m not sure how, but he’s put the pieces together.
“How long have you known?”
“About Chase? Not long. I suspected it yesterday at the meeting. You two had dated, and you vaguely mentioned that you were in a relationship with someone who wasn’t faithful to you.
Then when we met with Chase, you couldn’t sit still the entire time and Alyssa had to keep giving you reassuring squeezes under the table.
Chase pretty much confirmed it today when I heard him say he’s ‘changed’ and is a ‘better man.’ It didn’t take rocket science to figure out that he’s the one who cheated on you.
” He’s tense. I see the corded muscles in his forearms, and the energy rolling off him is almost tangible.
“Can I assume he has something to do with all of this?” It’s a very tactful way to inquire about the insane question I just asked him.
I let out a groan. “I shouldn’t have asked. At least not right now. It slipped out.”
“Stephanie,” he reaches up and wipes a tear from my face, “clearly something happened in there.” He gestures to the building. “You don’t have to tell me what it was, but”—he pauses for a beat—“if you really want to know my answer, I’ll tell you.” He’ll tell me?
Do I still want to know?
Before he says anything, I owe him some kind of explanation.
“Cooper, last week you told me that I was as happy as any woman has ever been waking up in your bed. You were teasing me, but it stuck in my head.” I take a fortifying breath, “And now I’m here, and Chase is here, and so many unpleasant memories and scenarios have been playing out inside my over-active imagination.
And then . . . you kissed me.” I take a breath.
“And even though it was for Chase’s benefit, it made me .
. . wonder . . .” I have no idea where I’m going with this.
“Stephanie,” something about his defeated tone makes me look up at him, “it’s not what you think.” His eyes drop for a moment before meeting mine. “What would you say if I told you that you were the happiest woman to ever wake up in my bed?”
“Don’t patronize me, Cooper!” I’m frustrated, and my voice rises. “This is awkward enough. I know it was a stupid question!”
“Stephanie,” his tone matches mine, “I was throwing around banter that morning. I was tired and hungry, and my comment was in poor taste. I’m sorry that it’s been bothering you, but what I said was true.”
Something inside me snaps. “Cooper, do you want to have sex with me? Is that why you bought me the shoes?” I throw the words at him like a grenade.