Chapter 42
Forty-Two
Faye
“I don’t understand,” I say to Marie. “You were just talking about how this would be a great thing.”
A hot hockey captain to play inspiration.
A shit-ton of books being sold.
Social media gold…
Except somehow, it hasn’t worked out that way.
Probably because the top headlines linked with Gray and my names on Google are—
Grizzlies Captain’s New Flame Pens X-Rated Tribute—and It’s All About Him
Fallen Hero? Captain Roberts Linked to Erotic Novelist Amid Divorce Drama
And maybe worst of all—
Love Scenes on Ice: Local Smut Writer’s Real-Life Hero Revealed as Grizzlies’ Gray Roberts
My fault. This whole mess is on me.
Marie sighs and the dark circles under her eyes tell me she’s spent the last day since this broke not sleeping.
Familiar, that. “Maybe if we’d pushed the fire and rescue angle earlier, had gotten ahead of what was happening with you and Gray instead of it being turned into this weird, titillating story that’s gone viral and now crossed into the world of sports bros… ”
I rub at my temple, at the throb that’s been there from the moment our impromptu family breakfast was shattered by a video.
And then another.
And then ten.
A hundred.
More.
So many it seems like the only thing the internet is talking about right now is me.
And Gray.
Twisting what we have.
Making me sound—
I clamp down on the sickening thought.
This has affected Gray far more than it’s affected me. He’s endured this before, barely allowed himself to believe we could be different…
And now my career is affecting his.
Because the Grizzlies have been distant, slow to return his calls, and the only statement they released…
They’re “monitoring” the situation.
Is this the straw that breaks the camel’s back?
Am I going to be his downfall? Not Courtney?
Stomach churning, world having been tipped so violently on its axis, I try to think my way through this.
But I don’t have any good answers as Marie and my agent, Nalini, keep talking, as my gaze drifts toward Gray where he’s sitting at the dining room table, out of camera view, but still here for me.
No. He’s here…but he’s also not. His mind has taken him someplace else.
His heart fighting him. The shame and embarrassment slicing his insides to ribbons.
Because of me.
Nalini draws me back into the conversation.
“The optics aren’t good, Faye. Especially after the controversy a few seasons ago—sexualizing athletes, the line between fantasies and TikToks and the real-lives of the players getting blurred.
” She shakes her head. “Now we’re adding in your career and Gray’s notoriety and the fact that your books are already being review bombed… ”
I close my eyes.
“Not to mention, the trolls on your social media posts and your ads, and um…the unfollows.”
My throat goes tight.
“The Grizzlies publicity team has reached out and we’re coordinating with them along with your publisher’s team, trying to turn this into a positive,” Marie chimes in.
“They have?” I blurt, relief a cool wash through me.
Gray’s eyes come to mine and the hope in them has my mind clearing, my focus returning.
We can get through this.
We can.
“They have, and we’re going to combine efforts. But babe,” she says carefully, “we’re way behind the posts, and honestly…I’m not sure how we can possibly spin this into something good at this point.”
That hope fades from Gray’s eyes, and that cool wash of relief becomes a burning worry singeing my nerves.
Because there’s something worse coming.
I can feel it.
“And there’s also one other thing,” Nalini says and it’s not gentle…it’s so beyond gentle I feel my throat close up, my pulse begin speeding through my veins, hammering behind my ears so loudly that I can barely hear her as she continues speaking. “The publisher’s pausing your upcoming release.”
“What?” I gasp.
“Just until things calm down and we can get ahead of the press,” she hurries to add. “Then we’ll—”
Screech!
Gray shoves back his chair and jumps to his feet, hands fisting in his hair, body going so still for a heartbeat, he’s back to playing statue.
Then he’s striding away from the table, pushing out through the back door.
“I’m sorry,” Nalini says as it slams shut. “This isn’t what any of us want—”
“Definitely not.” Marie scowls. “Turning tale and running instead of fighting.” She makes a sound of disgust. “It’s pathetic.”
I drop my gaze to my lap. “I should have listened to you instead of getting upset and defensive the other day. If we’d found some middle ground this might not have…”
Blown up in my face—the explosion so big Gray has been caught up in the crossfire I was trying to protect him from in the first place.
“No, Faye.” Regret on her face. “I was out of line. And I was greedy, thinking about how to milk the situation for all it was worth. You were trying to protect your peace, to protect what you and Gray are building. If I’d had a care to that, we may have been able to figure out a way to avoid all this. ”
We all fall silent and I know I need to end the call, to go after Gray.
I just…
There’s one thing I need to know first.
“Will I have to pay back the advance?”
I haven’t received all of it yet—some is paid out after release—but with my insurance company not yet cutting me a check and all the expenses I’ve incurred to purchase enough stuff to living my life…
Paying that money back will hurt.
I’ll do it.
But it’ll still hurt.
“Not at this point,” Nalini says. “And if they try to cancel the contract, we’re going to fight tooth and nail. You’re not in breech; they’re the ones delaying things.”
I nod, try to hold on to that one small positive. “Okay.”
Marie makes a shooing motion. “You need to get off this call and avoid social media for a few days. Hole up, do your best to be patient, to reassure Gray. We’re all working on this and once we figure out a plan, I’ll loop you back in.”
“The book is low priority,” I say, even though the words hurt my heart, even though I know it’s the best thing I’ve ever written and shelving it would destroy a part of my soul. But— “Whatever it takes to make this easier for Gray, do it.”
Because he’s more important.
And it’s my turn to protect him.
A long pause before Marie nods. “We’re on it. But you’re not a low priority, babe. We’re going to make this right for both of you.”
Heart full even as the worry churns my stomach, I thank them and sign off thinking…
Alone.
For so long I thought I was alone.
But the truth is I just never let myself trust in the people around me.
Until Gray showed me there’s another way.
And now it’s time for him to trust in that too.