Chapter 44
Forty-Four
Faye
I sit in the back yard, tears streaming down my cheeks for what feels like an eternity.
Waiting.
Hoping.
But Gray doesn’t come back.
Not as the sun sets. Not as the moon rises and my tears finally cease.
Not even when the morning sky begins to lighten on the eastern horizon.
It’s the sound of construction next door that finally snaps me out of my haze, and…I make my way on stiff, frozen legs inside.
It’s quiet.
Silent.
The house feels empty, hollow…or maybe that’s just me.
“No,” I whisper, clenching my hand into a fist at my side.
I won’t be the same Faye I’ve always been in the past.
I won’t accept someone else deciding what my life will be, won’t accept that this is all I can have—a taste of beauty only to have it ripped away from me because someone thinks they know better.
I love Gray, but I can’t make him see me, want me, keep me.
If nothing else, this time with him has taught me that, and as much as it hurts me, as big as my feelings are…maybe he and I have reached our expiration date.
Maybe I can’t be the woman he needs.
Maybe he can’t be the man I need.
Maybe extreme circumstances brought us together and I got this beautiful gift of spending time with him, of love I’ve only dreamed about, of memories I’ll hold tight to right next to those of Nana and my parents…
And maybe that’s all I’ll ever have.
Because…I begged.
And he still walked away.
My chest hitches, a sob in my throat, and I stand there in his beautiful kitchen, memories all around me, the faint scent of banana bread in the air…and hopelessness in my veins.
“Talking a big game, Faye,” I whisper.
Because if he walked in through the door right now I would throw my arms around him and tell him how much I love him.
If he called, I’d pick up the phone and beg him to reconsider.
As though fate is laughing at me, my phone buzzes on the counter and I launch myself toward it.
Only, when I see the name on the display my heart sinks.
Because it’s not Gray.
LUNA: The internet has lost its mind. Are you okay?
Disappointment.
But also…wanting to soak up as much time with Luna as possible.
Because who knows how much more of it I’ll have.
When she finds out Gray and I are…
Well, I should just take what I can for the time I have it.
So, with shaking fingers and tears in my throat…I text her back.
“Come and sit with me,” Luna murmurs as we walk into her house.
The warmth of the sunshine flowing in through the windows eases some of the chill inside me as I follow her into the library and sink down onto the chair next to hers.
There’s a box on the coffee table and when she notices me looking at it, she pushes it toward me, her lips twitching when I open the lid and see some of the delicious goodies she had at her baby shower.
“Don’t worry,” she says. “They’re fresh.
Aiden picked them up this morning before he left for the road trip. ”
The road trip.
With the Grizzlies.
And Gray.
Throat tight, I avoid the slice of banana bread and instead select a cinnamon roll. “That was nice of him.”
“Therapeutic carbs,” she says with a small smile. “To keep me company while he’s gone.”
Gray’s company.
My heart squeezes.
I don’t have that. Won’t have it ever again.
“What a sweetheart,” I say, trying to smile back and knowing it must look pathetic given the way she reaches over and squeezes my arm.
I take a bite, try to pretend I’m enjoying it, enjoying myself.
But the truth is the cinnamon roll tastes like sawdust.
Because the last time I had them was with Gray—him feeding me small bites between kisses, licking frosting off my bottom lip, and kissing me with the scent of cinnamon and sugar hanging in the air.
“My Aiden is a sweetheart.” Luna says, pulling me out of the memory. The misery. She tilts her head to the side, studying me closely, adds softly, “And so is Gray.”
My lungs constrict.
“Though the look on your face is telling me that may not always be the case.”
“It’s fine,” I say quietly. “He and I just—” I shake my head. “Well, it doesn’t matter. But do you think I could crash here—?”
“Yes.”
I blink.
She reaches over, pulls the cinnamon roll out of my hand, and sets it on a napkin near the box. “Yes, honey,” she says, holding my gaze. “You can stay here as long as you need.”
“But, I don’t know—”
“As long as you need,” she repeats, squeezing my arm again.
“The baby. Bri—”
“It’s a big house,” she says. “We have plenty of bedrooms.”
My throat goes tight, but I manage to nod, to whisper my thanks.
Silence falls for a beat before she asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Me begging him?
Him walking away?
My lungs spasm as I shake my head. “I know you guys are friends and I don’t want—”
“Gray and I are family, and”—her soft eyes come to mine—“so are you and I.”
My eyes burn with tears, and maybe I still should keep it to myself, not bring her into what Gray and I have become…but we’re family.
And this is what we do.
Besides resisting further is pointless. If I wanted to hide, wanted to do this alone, I would have ignored the text, gotten a hotel room, and lost myself in my next manuscript.
Instead, I texted Luna, came here, and—
Now I just…let the words come.
“That jerk!” she cries, jumping up to her feet then freezing and smoothing her hand over her belly, as though her outburst startled the baby in her womb.
And maybe it did.
Then she’s in motion again, cursing Gray’s name, muttering about stupid, stubborn men.
“I should have listened to Marie,” I say.
“Gotten in front of the story breaking.” Then I shake my head, immediately correct before Luna can jump in (she’s already spun my direction, her lips parting, protest written into the lines of her face), “No, I couldn’t have known what would happen, and it was important for me to protect him. ”
Like he protected me.
Like he’s trying to protect me—however misguided his methods—now.
“Exactly.” She scowls. “Because you don’t owe the world an explanation for your love life.”
“No,” I agree, “I don’t.” I sigh. “And story or not, Gray should be here fighting beside me. Otherwise, we’re both right back where we started.”
Him taking the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Me alone.
“Yes,” she says earnestly. “Aiden—” She clamps her lips together, cutting off whatever she was going to say.
But I’m an author.
I understand inference.
Aiden wouldn’t have left her.
Not like Gray had left me.
My heart shrivels up in my chest, tears threatening again, and I can’t look at her, can’t look at the pastries, can’t look at the bookshelves that had brought so much joy to me the last time I was over.
Because that’s gone now.
He’s gone.
“Hey,” Luna says, rushing over and taking me into her arms, squeezing me tight, “these men may be stubborn, but they have good hearts. He’ll get his head straight.” She pulls back, her mouth curved into a gentle smile. “Then he’ll come back, groveling.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want—”
Apologies? Groveling?
To go back to how we were before?
Gray?
“I don’t want…” But I can’t form the words, the name.
“Glorious makeup sex and jewelry?” she finishes for me with a waggle of her brows. “Are you sure?”
I freeze.
Because who wouldn’t want that?
Except…this is a hell of a lot more serious than jewelry and orgasms.
Levity of the previous moment gone, she nudges my foot with her own, her expression going back serious. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”
“How do you know?” I whisper.
“Because I know Gray. He’ll get his head on straight,” she says snagging my cinnamon roll and passing it back to me. “I promise. By the end of the day, he’ll be groveling.”
I nod, feeling a little better.
Maybe it’s just because the pastry no longer tastes like sawdust.
Maybe it’s because I want so badly to believe her—want to believe Gray’s and my love won’t end up in ashes.
More likely, it’s just…
The Power of Luna.