Chapter 46
Forty-Six
Faye
The contractor finished taking down the walls today, and I’ve spent the last few hours sifting through the remains of my house.
“I don’t know, Nana,” I murmur, running my hand lightly over the delicate blue bloom of her hydrangeas. “I don’t know what I should do.”
Luna offered to help, but I wouldn’t risk her baby with the smoke and ash and who knows what other kinds of chemicals are still hanging around.
Plus, there are decisions to be made and—
“I think I needed to do this by myself.”
“No, you didn’t.”
I blink, see Luna herself walking through my back yard, along with Bri and Kailey and…Harper.
The latter waves awkwardly. “I know I’m probably intruding”—her eyes slice to the side, toward Luna then back to mine—“but I brought food?”
“And also, Luns insisted,” Bri says dryly.
Luna narrows her eyes at her. “Excuse me?”
“You did,” Bri says.
An aggrieved sigh though her mouth curves up. “Fine. I did. But Harper works too much and she mentioned she needed some fresh air when we went over to pick up the food.” Luna waves a hand around the back yard. “So…fresh air.”
“With a side of barbecue,” Bri mutters.
“Bri!” Luna exclaims. “You can’t say that.”
Maybe I should be upset, but I’m not.
Instead…I’m laughing.
And it’s…like my ribs are cracking open, my laughter scraping against my grief until I can’t tell which is which.
I bend at the waist and grab my middle, tears streaking down my face, my cheeks aching.
“Umm…” I hear and try to pull it together.
“Shh, Bri,” Luna hisses.
But it’s Harper who moves.
Maybe because my tears of laughter have turned into real tears.
She slips an arm around my shoulders and hugs me tightly.
I hug her back. Me, the shy, formerly distant woman who spends most of her life in front of her computer screen is hugging a woman I’m just starting to know.
But it doesn’t feel strange or wrong.
It just…feels nice to be held.
“I’m sorry,” Bri says when I finally pull back, dashing a hand over either cheek. “That was…”
“Funny,” I murmur, reaching for her hand. “And it’s not you. The last few days have been…a lot. Luna is right. I shouldn’t have done this alone today.”
“Did you find anything?” she asks, her gaze going back to the mess that used to be my house.
I try to put the brightest spin possible on it. “Yeah. I’m super lucky. I did find some stuff.”
Just…not what I was hoping for.
Not Nana’s recipe book.
And no pictures.
And none of my special editions or the copy of the first book I published.
But also…not Nana’s recipes.
I hadn’t realized how much hope I was holding out for them until I searched through the kitchen.
“We brought masks and gloves and stuff,” Bri says as Kailey digs through her purse and offers me a napkin to wipe my eyes. “I’m really good at finding things.”
“She is,” Luna says earnestly.
I scrub at my face. “I bet you are,” I tell Bri. “But can I have a rain check? I think…” I sigh. “Honestly, I think I’ve had enough for today. I’d really love to just eat some of Harper’s delicious food.”
Bri nods quickly.
Kailey moves close.
Harper takes my hand.
But Luna steps right in front of me, studying my face for a long, tense moment.
My pulse speeds…mostly because it’s like she can see into my soul—and if that’s the case then she knows it’s not just the house, the memories, the videos and headlines still circulating the internet.
It’s Gray.
Who hasn’t gotten his head together.
Who hasn’t called.
My throat goes tight. “Please,” I whisper.
She sighs. Then touches my cheek before turning toward the others and commanding,
“If Faye wants to eat, then we eat.”
“Oh, my God!” I gasp a few hours later. “You didn’t!”
Luna nods and leans back on the couch in Gray’s family room.
Yes, it hurts—being here, remembering cuddling with him while watching bad action movies and eating popcorn, but we defaulted to his house because it was close and because, however painful (and likely ill-advised) I stayed in the guest room last night, having to be at my house bright and early to meet with the contractors this morning.
“I did,” Luna says of showing up on Aiden’s doorstep with a decade old marriage contract. “I was desperate, and not thinking straight—or maybe…” A grin. “Maybe my subconscious was operating on all cylinders for a change.”
“That one,” Kailey says. “Because you ended up with Aiden.”
Luna’s face softens. “Yeah. You’re right.”
“He’s a sweetheart, always coming in and grabbing food for you,” Harper says.
“I blame you for my cravings.” Luna winks at the chef.
“Happy to take the blame for that one.” Harper winks back.
I glance over at Bri who’s smiling…and chowing down on one of the delicious sandwiches Harper made. Then at Kailey, who’s nibbling on a cookie, also made by Harper. They both grin at me and shake their heads—and I get exactly what they’re silently communicating.
Harper and Luna have set about bringing the entertainment.
Doing their best to distract me, letting me sit back and just exist in the laughter and teasing and fun and the fact that I’m not alone.
Not any longer.
I may not have Gray, but I don’t need him.
I’m okay.
Especially with a belly full of delicious food and a couple of glasses of wine.
I finished my sandwich, downed a bag of homemade kettle chips with some sort of seasoning called Chicken Salt.
It’s apparently from Australia and not made of chicken, though it does have salt, along with a lot of other yummy spices. And then I ate two cookies.
Yum.
See? I’m good.
“And what about Leo?” Luna asks.
Harper freezes. “Wh-what?”
I jerk to rigid focus at her tone.
“Are you happy to take the blame for him too?” Luna presses.
“I don’t know what you mean.” It’s an edgy response.
Luna fixes Harper with a stare that calls the words for the bullshit they are—it’s in her guilty expression, her pink cheeks, the way she’s looking toward the door, as though searching for an exit.
Except, Luna drove them all here, so there is no exit.
“Luns,” Bri warns.
“What?” A shrug. “Leo couldn’t keep his eyes off her at the baby shower.”
Harper’s pink cheeks go bright red.
“And then there’s the fact they left together.”
Now they go somehow brighter.
“I think we should talk about something else,” Kailey says.
I nod. “Maybe Harper doesn’t want to talk about it.”
“So what?” Luna counters.
Bri groans.
Kailey goes for distraction. “Time for more wine.”
“I’m not drinking,” Luna says and makes a hurry up gesture at Harper. “So…”
Silence.
Then Harper shakes her head and sighs, glancing at each of us in turn before stopping on Luna and wrinkling her nose. “I know you well enough by now to understand you won’t let this go. Not that it matters, anyway. Leo and I…well”—a shrug—“we had a night and then that night was over.”
My heart squeezes.
Because there’s hurt in Harper’s words.
I reach for her hand, something healing in me when she holds it tight in return.
Luna’s expression sobers and she asks softly, “What does that mean?”
“Leo—” She slants a look at Bri, nibbles the corner of her mouth.
“I’m a vault,” Bri says, miming zipping and locking her lips. “So’s Kailey. And we’ll make sure Luna is too.”
Harper shakes her head. “You’re too young.”
“I promise you, I’ve heard a lot worse than the details of a one-night stand.”
“Shit.” Harper winces. “I didn’t mean—”
“You didn’t do anything,” Bri says, channeling a little bit of Luna with the forceful redirect. “And, truthfully, it’s nice being able to think about dates and Luna being nuts—”
“Hey!”
“—and men being jerks,” she says without missing a beat. “Than…” She falters here for a moment then lifts her chin, presses on, “Than what was done to me growing up.”
Kailey slips her arm around Bri’s shoulder as we all fall quiet for a beat.
Then Luns, right on cue, breaks the tension. “Can I tell Aiden?”
“No!” we cry in unison.
She scowls. “But I tell him everything.”
“Not this,” Bri orders.
A sigh. A considering look at Harper. Then a grudging nod. “Fine. Then I guess I’m a vault too.”
That promise secured, Harper’s gaze comes to mine.
I lift my hands in surrender. “I don’t have anyone to tell. But I’m a vault too.”
She laughs softly. Then sighs and says, “It was…well, it was magic. The connection I felt. Our”—another glance at Bri, more pink cheeks—“time together. And when I fell asleep with his arms around me, I felt…safe.”
I reach for her again, tighten my hand around hers, knowing the worst is yet to come.
“Then I woke up,” she whispers. “And he was gone. No note. No text.”
Luna scowls, lips parting.
“But he came by the shop just as I was closing,” Harper goes on in a hurry.
Luna’s mouth snaps closed.
“And then…” She shakes her head, finishes softly. “He made it damned clear that our night together was a mistake.”
Her words slice through me.
Because it’s heartbreak in a different disguise—instead of broken promises and running from what might be…it’s an empty bed and magic that turns out not to be real.
“Oh, Harper,” Luna whispers, clamping her hand over her chest.
“I thought it was something it wasn’t.” A shrug. “That’s on me.”
Luna’s expression is thunderous. “No, it’s not. He shouldn’t have—”
“We were two consenting adults. We made no promises and had a really great night together.” Her smile is forced. “I’m going to ask you to leave it at that.”
They face off.
But Harper doesn’t give in—and eventually (and to my surprise) Luna does.
“Fine,” she grumbles. “But I need to make it clear to this room of intelligent women that Leo is being an idiot.” Her gaze comes to mine. “Along with Gray, in case that wasn’t obvious.” Her nose wrinkles. “And all I can say is that this shit better not be spreading.”
We’re quiet again—and my silence is for a completely different reason this time.
And I know I not the only one feeling the same way when Harper says, “You’re good people, Luns.”
“I just—”
“You are,” Bri says firmly.
“Yes,” I agree, my heart shattered and still somehow full. Because I’m not alone. “The best kind of people.”
“The best,” Kailey semi-repeats.
Luns sniffs.
Then waves a hand in front of her face. “Ugh! Don’t make me cry! Pregnancy hormones are the worst and I don’t want to spend the rest of the afternoon blubbering. Especially wh-when I th-think you guys are the b-best t-too—”
Kailey sniffs, dashes a finger beneath each eye, clearly struggling with pregnancy hormones herself.
Crap.
Now my eyes sting—and I don’t have the excuse of growing a tiny human.
And Bri and Harper don’t look far behind me.
“Want to hear about my idea for my new book?” I blurt in order to save us all from dissolving into tears.
And luckily, it works.
Luna’s tears dry up and she squeals, clapping her hands together. “Tell me everything.”
“No, tell us everything,” Harper says.
I look nervously at Kailey and Bri, but they both seem interested too (and further from tears)…so, I do.
And then we talk about other things—TV shows and books and food and…everything and nothing.
But eventually, Luna starts to wane and Bri has homework to do and Kailey has work to complete and Harper needs to go to bed because she has to get up early in the morning for a big event she’s cooking for tomorrow.
I walk them to the door.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come back with us?” Luna asks.
“I’m sure.” I give her a hug. “I have another meeting with the contractors early tomorrow morning. No sense in me getting a ride there only to have to come right back.”
“You’ll call if you change your mind?”
I nod.
She fixes me in place with a glare. “And you won’t go searching again without backup?”
My heart squeezes. “I won’t.”
Her eyes narrow. “Promise?”
“I don’t want the wrath of Luna Black neé Maybelle now, do I?”
She pats me on the arm and smiles. “You sure don’t.” Then she starts to turn away, pauses. “It looks like Gray’s got a couple of packages here.”
“I’ll grab it,” Bri says when Luna starts to bend as though to pick the boxes up. “But they’re not for Gray.” She squints at the label. “They’re for Faye.”
I try to remember what I’ve ordered.
But truthfully, I’ve had to replace so much it could be anything.
“Thanks,” I tell Bri as she passes them over.
“Oh!” Luna says as I set the packages in the house, just inside the door. “Don’t forget your phone.”
Frowning, I accept it from her.
“It must have fallen out of your pocket,” she says, hugging me one more time before stepping back.
Something flickers through her face I can’t read, something that almost looks like guilt, but then the others are moving in and we’re exchanging goodbyes and then I’m waving as I watch them drive away.
I step back into the house, see the boxes…open the first one.
Then freeze, right there in the hall, every cell in my body in agony.
It’s a shadow box and within, professionally framed…
Is the first book I ever wrote.
Dolphyn’s Advenchure
Preschool me couldn’t really spell either, but even the cuteness of that doesn’t distract me from the pain of knowing that Gray loves me enough to do this for me…
But that he doesn’t love me enough to stay.
I hold the frame close and whisper,
“I hate you, Gray Roberts.”