Chapter Eleven
The weight on my shoulders was heavy because today was the day.
Syx was avoiding me like the plague. Everything about last night was bliss, yet it was so surreal.
All night, he held me and treated me like nothing else mattered.
Not even the fact that we made a mistake or caused bruises that would take longer to fade.
Afterward, he bathed me and kissed me all over my body to ease the soreness.
My heart was still aching though, and that was the only part of my body he couldn't aid.
He even took it up a notch and ate my pussy and ass in the shower to ease the pain I felt there.
We played the role of a couple and I didn't want any of it to end.
The sheets were already changed and he didn't leave.
All night he held me close and we both drifted off into a deep coma-like sleep.
While I felt I was exactly where I belonged, a tiny part of me longed to alter his decision and create a fairytale outcome.
But Syx had already given his word on matters he couldn't go back on, and there was no changing that.
When I woke up, he was gone. Desperately, I wrapped the sheets around my naked body and trotted through the house with my heart pounding, looking for him.
Looking in each room, I had high hopes thinking I'd find him.
I even looked in his office, hoping he'd be there, and when I didn't find him, that pained my heart even more.
The coward motherfucker didn't even have the guts to tell me goodbye.
He didn't even leave a note, only a Plan B pill with a bottle of water beside it.
On the nightstand, next to a bottle of water, was a Plan B pill.
Still in the package. Just sitting there like some kind of fucked-up peace offering.
I stared at it for a long time, my hands frozen mid-fold on a shirt. He'd left it for me. Didn't even have the balls to hand it to me himself or talk to me about it. Just left it there like a reminder of how careless we'd been. How careless he'd been.
My hands were shaking as I picked it up. Part of me wanted to throw it across the room, to leave it behind out of spite. But the other part—the rational part that was terrified of what could happen if I didn't take it—won out.
I swallowed the pill dry, the bitterness coating my tongue, and chased it with the water. It went down hard, and I felt like I might throw it back up. But I didn't. I just stood there, staring at the empty package in my hand, feeling the weight of everything crash down on me.
He'd held me all night after we fucked. Kissed every bruise, every sore spot. Ate my pussy and ass like he was worshipping me. Made me feel like I was the only woman in the world. And then he disappeared. Left me a fucking pill and ran.
I crumpled the package in my fist and tossed it in the trash.
I wasn't staying here another minute. I couldn't. Every corner of this house smelled like him, reminded me of him, made me ache for something I couldn't have. I needed to get the fuck out before I did something stupid—like beg him to love me back.
Roughly, I packed up all my shit and tossed it into my suitcase, hoping my aggressive movements would help me release my anger, but it didn't. The only thing it did was add to it.
You can't teach an old dog new tricks! I was to blame because I went into this the wrong way.
Being a hopeless romantic, I was thinking with my heart and not with my pussy.
I hated the way things were turning out, but I didn't deserve this.
Part of me was starting to regret booking this trip in the first place; coming here had been a mistake.
Syx was toying around with my heart, tap dancing on it and tossing it around like a fucking football.
He ain't shit but the average nigga with fuck boy tendencies, but nonetheless I loved him.
Fully packed now, I carried my luggage downstairs, struggling.
I'd already done my hygiene routine and gotten dressed.
The crop top and jean shorts weren't perfect for an airport outfit, but I didn't care about the way I looked right now.
My boho hair was a mess too, and I didn't bother wetting it and detangling it with conditioner.
I looked like shit, exactly how I felt. I'd already called the boat, so that part was taken care of—all I had to do was wait.
The boat arrived at noon, right on schedule, just as I finished a ham sub sandwich.
The pilot helped load my suitcase quickly before leaving.
So many emotions rushed through me that my mind wouldn't settle.
The pilot was trying to make small talk, but I was too engrossed in my head.
I wasn't ignoring him on purpose, so one-word remarks were the only replies I could come up with.
Arriving at the airport, the pilot helped me unload my things and wished me a safe flight before exiting.
Desperately, I wanted to ask him about Syx, but there was no use in teasing myself and making shit worse.
So I sauntered inside the airport, waiting to board my flight.
It was still early, but I'd rather have it no other way.
Just as I entered, a gush of cold air wafted toward me, making me gasp so hard that I had to close my eyes.
The Lorvae sunglasses shielded the pain behind my eyes and kept them from anyone who cared enough to ask if I was okay.
Furthermore, I was pissed about packing all this shit and having to carry it.
Adjusting it, the sound of the wheels rolling on the cool tile and the sound of my Saint Laurent sandals clicking made more noise than it should've, but I didn't care.
Sauntering forward, I dropped my phone, and just as I was about to pick it up, I bumped into this guy, nearly bumping heads.
"Shit," I hissed as I rubbed my head, neglecting my phone that was probably cracked at this point.
"I am so sorry," the guy said, being generous enough to pick up my phone for me. "I should've been paying attention."
"No, it's okay," I said, forcing myself to believe that as I reached for my phone. Glancing at the screen, I checked it for damage, and thankfully there wasn't any.
"Are you okay?" he giggled nervously, his pale skin tone turned pink.
"Yeah," I said, reassuring him. "I'm fine."
Giving me a light grin, he looked over my face to search for any other signs before walking away, making me frown at what I saw before me.
There were six Black men dressed in suits, lined up with freshly picked red roses in their hands.
They each had to be holding twenty-four roses in each hand.
They were beautifully wrapped, making me smile at the sight, and whoever was kind enough to do this for the woman they loved made my heart ache at the feeling.
Then my eyes landed on the sixth guy. He was holding a pink twenty-four-rose bouquet differently than the rest, and his attire was different too.
Standing on bowed legs, the mushroom-monogrammed Dior shirt clung to his Herculean build.
The tan shorts complemented the white Alexander McQueens on his feet, along with the iced-out Audemar Piguet on his wrist. Nearing him, our energy was so magnetic that I rushed toward him, abandoning my luggage with tear-soaked eyes and jumped into his arms.
"Syx," I whimpered.
"Nyne," he sighed deeply, wrapping his free arm around me.
Neither of us spoke because there wasn't much to say. My tears staining his shirt forced me to remain quiet before I pulled away and gazed into his misty eyes, memorizing his face.
"I thought I wasn't going to see you," I muttered, forgetting about the roses. He smelled and looked so fucking good that the fresh lineup didn't go unnoticed.
"I called you a coward," I admitted. That got a deep chuckle out of him.
"You weren't," he stated, making me gulp so hard my throat hurt. "But I had to see you. What we did last night was a mistake and I—"
Placing my forefinger to his lips, I muttered, "Shh, I don't want to talk about last night. It already happened and I don't regret it. Every second I spent with you is nothing but a faded memory."
"You're making me part of your past?" he questioned with a raised brow.
"It's only to protect myself, Syx. I don't want things to be this way. I've grown to love you and I hate that. I hate that I saved you a seat in my heart." My voice began to quiver.
Releasing another deep sigh. "You're the only woman who's ever made me feel like this, Nyne. That pussy must have some power," he joked, lightening the mood.
Playfully, I hit him in the chest, getting a laugh out of him and a giggle out of me.
"I don't know what to say when I've already caused enough damage though," he spoke in a more serious tone. "Everything you've made me feel is real, baby."
"Then be with me. Let's ride off into the sunset," I mentioned again, trying to convince him.
He stayed quiet, making me feel dumb. I'd already made a fool of myself.
"Nyne—" he started, but I stopped him, too afraid of what he might say. Everything that came out of his mouth had hurt me already.
"It doesn't matter," I stated with a hint of sadness in my voice. "I just want to thank you for helping me discover myself and showing me what pleasure could be."
He pulled me tighter into his arms and nestled his lips on my neck where I felt his tongue slither back and forth. "I hate that our goodbye has to be like this."
"It doesn't have to be though," I retorted, clinging to that little bit of hope.
He pulled back to say, "We both know it has to be."
A voice filled the airport, announcing my flight was ready for boarding.
"We ain't got to think about that shit right now," Syx retorted, tilting my face up to kiss me one last time. It was a deep and passionate kiss that said everything he couldn't put into words.
When we finally broke apart, we were breathing hard, and the tears wouldn't stop streaming down my face.
"Go," Syx commanded, his voice rough. "Before I beg you to stay. I'll ship the roses to your home. They'll be there before you get there."
Tugging away, my whole body was screaming to turn around and run back into his arms. We were so engrossed in each other, we didn't notice people smiling and recording us.
Nothing else mattered but us, but sadly, I'd have to rip that chapter from my book and trash it.
I had a job, but I could find another one.
I have friends and family, but if I told them about this impromptu decision, they'd understand because they'd want me to be happy after so many trials and errors.
I've never been happier than I'd been these past two weeks. The intensity of the experience was an intoxication of new love and finally discovering my body's capacity for pleasure. I stood frozen between two worlds, unable to turn back, with my heart pulling me in two directions at once.
TO BE CONTINUED…..