Chapter 38 – Mabel
Chapter Thirty-Eight
MABEL
The morning comes too early, and I know there’s no way I’m going to be able to go back to sleep once I leave Jude’s warm bed. Thinking of returning to my room, my bed, without him makes me feel like my skin’s on fire.
Instead, I hurry back to my room and change into what I want to wear for the day and softly pad up the stairs. I swallow the scream that threatens to jump out of my throat when I spot a dark head sitting on the deck. With the sun coming up, it takes a second to recognize the head of hair.
Paul.
I take a deep breath as I realize this is the perfect time to actually sit down and talk with him. My heart pounds like a drum in my chest as I hurry to the deck.
“G’morning.” His voice is rough in the early morning. I don’t say anything, just sitting down next to him and leaning my head against his shoulder.
We sit in comfortable silence, watching the sunrise. Peace washes over me as I sit here with my little brother. I love all my siblings but Paul and I have always had a special connection and before these feelings that have emerged with Jude, I would have considered him one of my best friends.
The only secret between us, besides my feelings for Jude, is whatever had happened with Anika.
Paul breaks our peace with a deep inhale, releasing it loudly before turning to me.“Are you going to tear me a new one as well?” I raise my hand, my palm flat and wobble it left and right. “I don’t want to tear anything but I do want to ask you a question.”
“Hit me.”
“Patrick wants to have a boy’s game night at the Bunk House. He wants you there and he wants Jude there. Elle wants me to make sure you’re not going to kill the vibe.”
“That’s not a question.”
With my head on his shoulder, I don’t feel guilty rolling my eyes.
“As one of Patrick’s groomsmen, are you planning on ruining Patrick’s bachelor party with the hate boner you have for Jude, who I remind you, is his only other groomsmen?”
My head bobs with Paul’s rough laugh. “I wouldn’t call it a hate boner.” He grumbles. If this was the first time speaking with Paul, maybe I would have fallen for this false offended tone but I’ve known this man for his whole life and I know better.
He feels guilty.
“What would you call it?”
We sit in silence for a few minutes. I’m not going to push him.
If he needs time to work through his thoughts, I’ll give him all the time he needs.
I only hope that our conversations doesn’t get interrupted while he’s processing.
The sun is officially up and I know the clock is counting down.
I need Paul to get this off his chest so we can try and resolve this without an audience.
“He was responsible for something that changed my life…”
Another deep breath.
“I can be civil with him for one night.”
My smile is soft hearing him put Patrick’s special night above whatever happened between the two of them. “Two nights. You have to be nice at the wedding, too.” I remind him. This pulls a rough laugh out of him and I can feel some of the tension that had settled during our conversation.
“Fine. Two nights. I can’t promise much more than that.”
My stomach drops. The pinprick of hope I had allowed myself that maybe, just maybe, this would be the first step for possibly repairing whatever for more than two nights is stamped out by Paul’s ugly handy-man work boots.
“I think Elle would appreciate that.”
Before he can respond, the door to the inside swings open and a waist-high streak of dark hair scuttles in front of before jumping into Paul’s lap. The sweetest little voice rings throughout the trees. “Dood mornin’ Daddy!” Henry’s little arms wrap around Paul’s neck in a crushing hug.
It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and it makes me want to cry. The jealous feeling that overcomes me makes me sick. I hate myself for having any negative feelings related to the father and son sitting next to me.
“I’m going to see if they need any help with breakfast.”
I push off the couch and shuffle into the house. My eyes remain trained on the ground as I walk back into the cabin. Sounds of everyone waking up and getting ready for the day surround me.
“Good morning, Mabel baby.” Mama greets me, and other voices echo her statement. A deep rumbly voice is the only one that I really care to hear.
Fighting the urge to walk into Jude’s arms until the knots in my gut unfurl, I walk over to Mama and Patrick who are sitting at the dining table with steaming coffee cups resting in front of them. I settle into the chair next to Mama, she pushes her warm mug over to me and I take a grateful sip.
Warm hot chocolate explodes on my tongue before warming my insides. Outside of Jude’s arms around me, this is the best thing to cure the shitty feelings.
“Thank you, Mama.”
Taking another sip, I let my gaze travel around the room to take in what everyone else is doing.
Lola and Elle are chatting in the living room.
I almost choke on my drink when I see Jude and Anika side by side in the kitchen, the both of them cutting up fruit.
The door to the deck opens, Henry and Paul rejoining us.
My breath stutters in my throat as I watch Paul search for Anika, his gaze narrowing once he finds her and sees who is standing next to her.
He doesn’t react much out of that, thank all that’s holy.
Instead, he pivots toward the table and guides Henry over to his booster seat at the table.
“Mommy’s making fruit salad for breakfast, you excited Big Guy?
” Paul’s attention is completely focused on his son, getting him settled before sitting down next to him.
Henry confirms he loves fruit salad and starts to list all of his favorite fruits.
Elle and I make eye contact, she scowls and her eyes flick to the window that shows where Paul and I had been talking earlier. I shoot her a wink and a quick nod.
Mission accomplished.
Lola and Elle join us as Anika and Paul bring over a giant bowl of fruit salad and some muffins. My stomach grumbles, making Patrick chuckle which earns him a soft kick to the leg.
“Hey, no violence at the breakfast table.” Patrick scolds me, wagging a finger in my face.
“Don’t give me a reason.” I shake a fist at him before we both break into a small fit of giggles.