Chapter 50 – Jude
Chapter Fifty
JUDE
Ihave to actively fight to stop myself from asking my mom why she assumed Mabel must be hungry when it’s clear no one else at this gathering has started to get food.
The idea that my mother is making a snide comment about Mabel’s weight stokes the annoyance that’s been building since Leeson leered at her when he opened the door. I don’t think my mood could be worse.
I can only hope that the afternoon goes by quickly, the only positive of my annoyance is that it overshadows the heartbreak of knowing this was going to be the last time I was going to be with Mabel. I can’t stop my fingers from tightening around her fingers that are intertwined with mine.
She turns her head to look at me, worry flickering across her face. I offer a quick shake of my head, doing my best to silently communicate that she doesn’t need to worry about me. Not anymore.
“Oh, I’m not hungry, but I’d love to meet Jude’s siblings.” Mabel tells my mother as we stop by the table where food is spread out.
“Oh. Well.” My mom sniffs, looking over Mabel. “Mark is away at camp but I’m sure Everly is around here somewhere.” She waves her hand like she doesn’t care about where her seven-year old might be.
“Jude!” Everly’s voice calling my name is like a shot as runs out of the house, the brightest smile on her face. I can’t stop my returning smile, until Leeson’s bark of admonishment stops Everly in her tracks. “Everly, that is not lady-like!”
I feel Mabel jump next to me and something snaps inside of me.
“Good thing she’s a little girl, Leeson.” I growl, dropping Mabel’s hand and stomping over to Everly, squatting down and wrapping my arms around my little sister. “It’s good to see you, little bug.” I whisper in her ear, before I let her go to stand.
Leeson’s face has taken on a rotten tomato color, I can almost see the steam pouring from his ears.
Shit. I need to make myself scarce while he calms down and remind myself to keep my mouth shut while at the Jensen house.
I forgot where I was for a second, only caring about the crestfallen look on Everly’s face.
I can’t make that mistake again, keeping quiet means keeping the peace, and for now that’s the best I can offer my younger siblings.
Forcing out an apology to Leeson, I grab Mabel’s hand and pull her to one of the tables covered in shade.
I motion for her to sit, when she does, I head over and grab us each a bottle of water before returning to the table and sitting next to her.
Mabel takes the water bottle and takes a sip, not saying anything and I’m thankful for the silence.
Eventually, enough time has passed that I feel comfortable with attempting an escape with Mabel.
“Time to go.” I collect the trash we’ve amassed during our time here.
My mom had to make three more comments before Mabel finally agreed to get some food.
I follow after her, trying to stay close enough to keep Leeson away from her but far enough that she doesn’t try to start a conversation with me.
Thankfully, goodbyes are quick. I promise Everly that I’ll take her and Mark out for another sibling day soon. That brings a little flicker of excitement to her eyes, her small arms wrapping around my neck in a tight goodbye hug.
Mabel is more pleasant than she needs to be as she says goodbye to strangers.
Our hands find each other, interlocking again like it’s second nature.
Though I know this will be the last time I’ll be able to get close to Mabel.
After tonight she wont feel like she needs to ‘pay me back’ for taking care of her anymore.
God, this was such a mistake.
I shouldn’t have run away when she offered to come tonight. I should have told her that was never what this was to me, but I got her message loud and clear, no need to worry about anything between us ever again.
Driving home, in silence, takes longer than driving to Leeson’s house. I seriously consider giving Mabel the keys to my truck so I can leave, walk home and calm down the storm inside me.
Pulling into the employee parking lot, I feel like I can finally take a breath. Mabel’s voice is quiet after I turn my truck off. “Everly seems lovely. I wish I could have met Mark.” I grind my teeth, not knowing how to respond to that.
She’ll never get the chance to meet Mark, now that her debt is paid.
“Yeah, they’re great.”
I jump out of my truck, ending the conversation. Mabel follows me out of the vehicle, I can tell she’s gearing up to say something, but I don’t spare her another glance as I lock up my truck and leave the parking lot and stomp my way to the Bunk House.
I can’t look back, if I get another glance at her beautiful face I’m liable to do something stupid like get down on my knees and beg her to reconsider dropping me like an old sack of scraps from making honey sticks.
No.
I can’t.
No matter how infatuated I’ve been with Mabel for the last ten years, I can’t give her the opportunity to reject me outright. I don’t think I’d be able to work and live on the Farm if she told me point blank that everything that happened between us was just a tit for tat.