Chapter 58 – Mabel
Chapter Fifty-Eight
MABEL
Iwake up in waves.
First, I become aware of a presence in the bed with me.
Second, the events of last night slowly play like a movie in my mind’s eye.
Finally, my body starts to awaken, my eyes open and I’m graced with Jude’s sleeping face. His mouth is slightly open and small snores leave him, warm breath hitting my cheek.
The breath causes a few wisps of my hair to dance across my cheek.
It tickles and I can’t fight the giggle that bubbles out of me. This wakes Jude and he jumps, searching around confused. The look on his face turns my giggles into full on belly laughter .
Soon, I’m laughing so hard tears start to fall.
“Mabel, what’s wrong?” Jude’s voice is so shocked but he’s anything but alert. Poor guy is still half asleep but looks like he’s fixing to fight whatever’s caused me to catch this case of chuckles.
My gentle giant doesn’t realize it’s the memory of being with him, confessing our feelings to each other, that’s got me acting this way.
“I love you.” I press a kiss against the side of Jude’s mouth before climbing out of bed. “Wake up, Muscles. I’m going to start making us breakfast.”
I grab a pair of linen shorts as I leave the room, it’s not until I’ve made it into the kitchen that I pull the bottoms on.
The skin on the underside of my boob is sticking uncomfortably to the skin underneath so I lift my boobs up and tuck the t-shirt I’m wearing into the space between so my skin isn’t touching my skin.
I hate that feeling.
Well, when it’s my own skin.
I’ve quickly become addicted to the press of my naked body against Jude’s.
Down, girl.
I do my best to clear my mind of the dirty thoughts teasing me but I’m only kidding myself. Now that I’ve told Jude the truth and he’s admitted his feelings as well, all I want is to spend all of my time with him.
In and out of bed.
Sometimes on a counter.
After breakfast in bed, Jude insists on cleaning up since I cooked. We’ve been cuddling and having a serious conversation about what our relationship is going to look like. I don’t want things to stay a secret but I know I need to talk to Paul.
Jude agrees, because he’s amazing, and insists he doesn’t know what he might have done to cause so many negative feelings with Paul but he wants to fix whatever it was that he did.
It makes me love him even more, his willingness to accept fault and work to fix things.
He told me he’s been going over every interaction but nothing comes to mind.
I want to go find Paul immediately and demand he tell me what happened between them, the need to clear the air is like a heavy weight on my chest.
The familiar guilt of betraying my family sours my stomach. Jude notices immediately and does his best to clear my thoughts with subject changes and intimate moments. It helps but the feeling doesn’t fully disappear.
Eventually, it gets late enough that Jude has to leave. He’s determined to make sure Lola isn’t overworking herself. I want to offer to help but I know that showing up with Jude would raise a multitude of questions that I’m not fully prepared to answer.
At least, not until I can talk to Paul.
So, I stay home and clean.
Re-sanitize my kitchen counter for good measure, do some laundry I’ve been neglecting, change the sheets on my bed.
Normal, boring, every day chores.
When I don’t think I can put it off any longer, I pull my phone out and send a text to Paul. The sooner we can have this conversation, the better.
Me
Hey little brother. You got any free time coming up? I miss you
Paul
Let me check my schedule. I’ll get back to you asap.
Me
See that you do, please. It’s been too long since we’ve gotten together.
Five weeks later
“Lola. Please, I need you and Elle right now. I don’t know what’s going on but Paul is avoiding me. I have something I need to tell everyone. I wanted to talk to Paul first but I don’t know what’s going on with him.” I try to keep the tremble out of my voice but I’m actually really upset.
For the past five-freaking-weeks Paul has been avoiding me. He’s been evasive or straight up ignoring my repeated requests to get together. He hasn’t even come to family dinner since Elle’s wedding.
“Okay, I’ll grab Elle and we’ll be over tonight. Do you want us to bring over some dinner? I’m sure Mama made more than enough for us to sneak some leftovers. Unless you want to meet at the Big House?”
“No!” The word explodes out of me. I don’t think I can mentally handle telling my sister and Mama at the same time. I’m sure Mama would be the most excited about this new development between Jude and I but that’s not what I need right now.
No, I need some no-nonsense Elle Hunt bluntness and Lola Warren’s specific brand of calm while I go over this story for the first time.
“Okay, no Big House. I’ll still bring food, though.” We finish up our call pretty quickly after that confirmation. I’d been walking home while we talked and now that I’m standing in my living room, I’m overcome with a bone weary exhaustion I don’t think I’ve ever experienced.
God, I don’t know why I’m so tired all the time. It doesn’t make any sense, work has slowed down for me dramatically with the colder months coming up. Maybe it’s all the stress of trying, and failing, to talk with Paul .
I try to run through my mental checklist of things that I need to do before Elle and Lola come over but the only thing that comes to mind is taking off these tight pants and taking a nap. I could clean but my bed is calling to me.
I can set an alarm and take a power nap.
I nod, agreeing with myself. It’s obviously the most logical course of action and now that the decision has been made, I’m ultra aware of how uncomfortable these dang pants are.
I don’t know why I thought jeans would be a good idea but I can’t stand the thought of having them on for a moment longer.
Even thinking about walking to my room before removing them sounds like torture. My pants are off and if I wasn’t so tired, I’d be running to my bedroom. It’s more like a jerky shuffle.
Climbing into bed is like heaven, the sheets are cool and my blanket is just the right amount of fluffy. I don’t think my head is fully resting on my pillow before sleep overtakes me.