CHAPTER 18
At nine o’clock, Hudson was up and in the kitchen. His parents were down at their cabin, sleeping in, and Kimber had already been up to take care of the animals. According to her note, she’d headed over to Seattle to have lunch with a friend. After making sure that Willa was tucked in and that he could hear her if need be, he’d crashed in Jeremy’s room. She was still snoozing, which didn’t surprise him, given last night’s whole thing.
He was glad that he had the house to himself, except for Willa. He’d found himself digging through some of the closets until he found a tray that his mother had used when any of the kids were sick and that they’d used to give her breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day. He’d cleaned it up and now had the beginnings of breakfast ready.
His phone rang as he started to make a fresh pot of coffee. When he saw it was Jeremy, he answered. “Hey. You missed a helluva party.”
He heard Jeremy sigh. “Wish I’d been there.”
Hudson knew what was coming before he even asked the question: “Something wrong?”
“Wendy and I broke up,” Jeremy said. “For real, this time.”
Since Hudson had heard that twice before, he wisely bit his tongue. “I’m sorry. You okay?”
“Other than I need to move out? Sort of.”
“You know, if you need anything—to talk, or a rental deposit, or whatever—you can ask, right?” Hudson couldn’t help himself. Hearing either of his kids in pain made his chest hurt. “Seriously. Anything I can do.”
There was a moment’s hesitation. “Um . . . actually . . .”
Hudson started the coffee machine, waiting.
“Can I move home?”
That, he hadn’t been expecting. Much like his mother, Jeremy hadn’t been able to wait until he could move off island. “Are you sure? I mean, it’s fine. We’d love to have you, but I’m just surprised.”
The sadness he’d heard in Jeremy’s voice when he’d first spoken was even heavier now. “Things just aren’t working out the way I’d hoped,” he said slowly. “I mean, I know that I had trouble pinning down what I wanted, but ... I don’t know. I’m not a music producer, I’m not a video producer. I’m just spinning my wheels, working at an electronics store and trying to show people how to work their phones or why they fried their tablets, or why they should’ve gotten Malwarebytes before they downloaded all that porn.”
Hudson snickered.
“I just didn’t think this would be my life.” Jeremy sounded both baffled and upset.
Now Hudson took a deep breath. “I’m saying this with love, okay?” he said slowly. “You’re only twenty-three.”
“Yeah, but I’ve been out of school for two years,” Jeremy said. “I’ve been working. I’ve been living on my own ...”
“With your girlfriend,” Hudson interjected, stopping himself from pointing out that she’d taken up a lot of Jeremy’s time and mental bandwidth over those years. “You’ve been figuring out what you want to do, that’s all. Nobody’s expected to know what they want to do right out of the gate.”
“I dunno. Those K-pop idols that Kimber loves know what they want to do from the time they’re, like, fourteen or something,” Jeremy argued. “I thought I was going to make movies, but then I got sidetracked. Then I thought I was going to be a YouTuber, and I couldn’t get traction, so that just fizzled. Then I wanted to just be a video editor, but nobody wants to take a chance on me because I don’t have the best portfolio ...”
He trailed off. Hudson waited to make sure he was finished before giving his opinion. “You’re looking at somebody else’s highlight reel and comparing it to your behind-the-scenes bloopers, Jem.” Hudson smiled, using Jeremy’s childhood nickname just to hopefully make him smile too. He watched the coffee drip into the empty carafe as he chose his words carefully. “You’ve got time. So fucking much time, like an ocean of it. Just because you’re twenty-three and you don’t quite have it together doesn’t mean that you won’t ever, okay? You’re just figuring it out.”
“I don’t know,” Jeremy said, but with less conviction and hopefully less despair than he had before. “I just feel lost.”
Hudson’s heart ached for his kid. “C’mon home,” he said. “We’ll figure out the logistics of getting you moved. And we’ve got leftovers from the barbecue.”
“That does sound good,” Jeremy said. “I’ve been living on ramen the last week. I didn’t feel like cooking, and shit’s just too expensive to eat out all the time.”
“I could probably convince Grandma to make you your favorite dinner, fried chicken,” Hudson said, as a final incentive. “The good biscuits, even.”
“I’ll be there this afternoon.”
Hudson laughed. “Thought that’d do it. Love you, see you later.” They hung up. Then he went about his initial goal: getting breakfast for Willa. He set up a plate with toast and small mounds of goat cheese, butter, and jam. He added a bowl of clean berries from the garden. Then he poured a mug of coffee and found the small pitcher of creamer and the sugar bowl his mother used for visitors. Finally, he added a cloth napkin and silverware. It looked nice. Then he decided to just be “completely extra,” as Kimber would say, and added a small juice glass with water and some of the marigolds from the garden.
Did it look like he was trying too hard? Maybe. But if nothing else, it was an apology. His family had, accidentally, gotten her high as a fucking kite, after all.
He brought it to his room. He’d left the door cracked open so he could hear her if anything was wrong the previous night. She was in one of his T-shirts, just under his light blanket, so he’d hoped that it wasn’t an issue. He held the tray in one arm and then tapped the door. “Willa?”
He heard her gasp. “Yes?” Her voice was bell-clear, no trace of sleep, which was more than he could say about himself when he woke up.
“Okay if I come in?”
“Hudson?” There was a pause. “Um, yes ...?”
He opened the door, then grinned. Her hair, normally so perfect, was mussed. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were wide. “Good morning,” he said, then nodded down to the food. “The bathroom’s down the hall, but I thought I’d bring you some breakfast.”
“I slept here?” she asked.
“Yup.”
She glanced around the room, then down at the bed ... then at him. “Did I ... did we ...?”
It took him a second. Then he couldn’t help chuckling. “No, sweetheart. I slept in my son’s old room. Although I guess he’s moving back in ... never mind, it doesn’t matter. I considered bringing you home to your house, but your car’s here and all, and you really weren’t in any state. We wanted to make sure you were okay, anyway. Even though it wasn’t that big a dose, edibles are unpredictable, and we should have been more careful.”
She groaned loudly, then burrowed under his cover, dragging it up over her head. “I am so embarrassed ,” she said, her voice muffled by the blanket.
“Why are you embarrassed? None of this is your fault.” Now he sighed. “In fact, I have to apologize. That never should’ve happened. I am so sorry that you were put in that position.”
Now her head emerged, her hair even more haywire than before, although the look of determination and sternness still gave that no-nonsense, ridiculously precise impression, even if she looked rumpled as hell. “No! It wasn’t Kimber’s fault. That was all me. I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“It’s exactly because you didn’t know what you were doing that we should’ve been more careful.” Something he’d spoken about to Kimber at length.
“I don’t think it’ll ever become a regular thing for me,” she admitted, “but it was kind of nice. To just let go for a while.”
He could imagine. So often she seemed to have the weight of the world on her shoulders, and for those few hours, talking and looking at the stars, crooning along to music, she’d seemed so light. He could’ve stared for hours. “Anytime you like,” he said. “I’m happy to help.”
She stared back for a second, her cheeks and her ears going pink. Then her eyes narrowed.
“I ... talked to you, didn’t I? About my project, stuff like that.”
He couldn’t lie to her. “Yeah, you did.”
He watched her throat work as she swallowed, her mind seemingly going back to what she’d talked about. He could even tell the moment she processed exactly what she’d revealed to him.
“Shit,” she breathed, and then dove under the blanket again.
He couldn’t help himself. He chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed. “It’s okay, Willa,” he reassured her. “I’m not going to tell anyone.”
She wriggled. “I am a humiliation burrito.”
“You don’t need to be,” he said around a laugh. “But your coffee’s getting cold. You want to use the bathroom first?”
She popped her head out again, just the top, up to her eyes. She was beginning to look like a ground squirrel. “You didn’t have to make me breakfast,” she protested, her words muffled.
“No, I didn’t,” he said.
She took it in. Then she nodded and retreated to the bathroom. When she came back, she sat on the bed, against the headboard. “You’re so nice to me.” She sounded ... not confused, exactly, but almost reproachful. “I’m sure you had other things you have to do today.”
“Not a thing,” he said. “I was thinking of stopping by and working, actually.”
“No!” she shot out, then looked down at the plate like buttering her toast was the most important thing she could do in the world. “I mean ... it’s Sunday. You should rest. You’ve been working at my house for weeks.”
He nodded. He didn’t want to push her. He liked her, of course, and he’d said as much, but he didn’t want to be that guy. If she needed space, he’d give it to her. He watched as she nibbled at the toast and drank the coffee, feeling happier in that quiet moment than he’d felt in a long, long time. Finally, she smiled at him shyly.
“Thanks, Hudson,” she said.
He took the tray. “My pleasure.”
“No, not just for the breakfast,” she pointed out. “Last night. Inviting me here. Making sure I was okay. I just ... thank you.”
Now his chest heated. He wanted so badly to put the damned tray down and scoop her up against him—not just for sex, although that would’ve been ...
You’ve never brought a woman to the house.
He nodded. “Really. My pleasure.”
She smiled. “I’m going to get going, then.”
He brought the tray to the kitchen, then walked with her to the door, where her shoes were lined up next to Kimber’s shoes and his mother’s moccasins. “Let me know if you need anything,” he said, then walked her to her car.
She smiled at him as she got to the driver’s side door. “See you Monday?”
Her hair was still a mess, one wisp hovering in front of her face. He reached out almost unconsciously, tugging it out of the way and smoothing it down behind her ear like he’d seen her do countless times ... before trailing his fingertips along her cheek, right to the edge of her chin. “See you Monday,” he repeated, moving his hand away.
She stared at him for a long second, and it seemed like they were just frozen there.
Then she nodded, got in the car, and drove away.
He trudged back to the farmhouse. He was so, so fucked when it came to this woman, and he had no idea what to do about it.
So instead, he did some laundry, cleaning the bedding in his room and in Jeremy’s, before falling into a rabbit hole of clock-fixing videos. That usually soothed him. When his phone rang, he thought for a second it was Jeremy again, but instead saw Willa’s number and smiled.
“Just can’t get enough of me, huh?” he teased, then wondered if he’d gone too far.
He was gratified when he heard her giggle. “More to the point,” she countered, “guess who can’t get enough of me ?”
He blinked.
It’s me. I can’t.
But he didn’t say it.
“Noodle,” she said. “The little Houdini broke into my garage again. I’d drive him over, but I don’t know how he’d do in my car.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Hudson said quickly, keys in hand before she’d even finished the sentence, his heartbeat already picking up. “I’ll be right over.” Then he waited a beat. “And I might as well do a little work, right?”
“Up to you.” But there was a grin in her voice, he thought.
Oh yeah, he was in trouble here. But he was already out the door before he let himself dwell on it.