Chapter 69
CHAPTER 69
OLIVIA
A cloud of dust rose up behind me as I raced away from Anderson Ranch, effectively eliminating any last view of the place—or the man—I might’ve had. I gripped my steering wheel and dropped my teary gaze away from the mirror, blinking hard in an attempt to clear my blurry vision.
I drew in a deep breath, but I felt like my heart was breaking as everything that had happened in the last forty minutes caught up to me. My head spun, my chest ached, and I pulled over once I was a few miles away from the ranch, knowing I needed to pull myself together before I could get back on the road.
As I eased onto the shoulder, my head bent and my shoulders collapsed inward, my entire being feeling like it was being torn apart from the inside out. The knowledge that I had been Charlie’s rebound girl ate at me like a pack of vicious velociraptors had gotten hold of my gut.
I had only been the woman he had gone after because his one true love had left him. I could hardly believe it and yet I’d seen the evidence with my own two eyes. There could be no denying the truth of what she’d shown me.
If I hadn’t literally stared at the proof for a few long minutes, I never would’ve trusted what Scarlett had said, but she’d let me hold the ring. She’d handed over her phone so I could read the message he’d sent her myself and she’d known things she couldn’t have if he hadn’t done the same things with her.
Charlie had never cared about me. As bitter a pill as it was to swallow, I had to face the truth. What I felt had been real. It was still real, but for him, it’d only been a way to relive his past with her.
Sending her that text saying that he would always love her after he’d told me repeatedly that he wanted nothing to do with her was devastating. The level of betrayal was insane.
My stomach clenched and I had the sudden urge to vomit. Groaning as I lowered my forehead to my steering wheel, I focused on the sensation of the soft leather pressing against my skin. I’m going to be okay. I’m going to be okay.
I could feel the despair creeping up on me, but I refused to give into it. Once again, I had given my heart and my trust to a man, and once again, I had been let down in a big way. Questions rose up from deep within, so insistent that it felt like I was going to choke on them.
Why does this keep happening? Why do I always trust the wrong guys? Why couldn’t Scarlett have shown up earlier to tell me the truth and, why, oh why, did I let myself fall for the damn cowboy in the first place?
The tears stinging my eyes gave way to bubbling, coiling rage, burning away the moisture and clearing my field of vision. I knew more tears would come as soon as the rage started fading again, so I punched the car back into gear and took off, intent on getting home before the floodgates opened.
I was on an emotional seesaw, but prior experience told me that the sense of loss would be hitting soon. As soon as the reality of my situation struck, in fact. I needed to be home when I realized that I had lost him—or more accurately, that I’d never really had him to begin with.
And to think that he was fully engaged to her, gave her his grandmother’s ring, and never even told me.
It was truly shocking.
All the while, I’d thought we’d shared such deep moments. That we were really opening up to each other. How could he leave that out?
Feeling used and angrier than I had been in a long time, I forced myself to focus on the road. I just needed to get home. Then I could fall apart. I could punch my pillows and scream into them, I could cry until I had no more tears left, and I could eat gallons of ice cream I would never feel guilty about.
But not until I got home. To my sanctuary. My safe space.
In a city that would always have Charlie everywhere I looked.
Fuck .
That anger surged through me again, narrowing my eyes and making my fingers tighten around the steering wheel. What a freaking jerk.
Finally, I drove into my own neighborhood and parked in my driveway, grabbing the bag I’d packed to stay over there tonight from the backseat. Dumbstruck and speechless, I felt like I was walking through some kind of haze as I strode to my front door, robotically going through the motions of rummaging around for my keys and sliding the correct one into the lock. Twisting. Pushing the door open. Walking in.
Once I got inside, I was still operating on autopilot mode and I even unpacked my bag, stowing my things neatly away in my closet. I shed my clothes and changed into comfy pajamas before I finally grabbed my phone.
Just one more thing, and then I’ll let myself feel this properly.
As I padded to my kitchen to make an emotional support latte, I held my phone in my trembling hands and fired off a quick text to my dad.
Me: Everything is going great at the fair. I had a situation so I needed to leave, but London and Lacey have got it covered. X
Daddy: Are you okay? What’s the situation? Anything I can help with?
Me: Nah, it’s okay. I’ll be fine. Thanks, Daddy.
Leaving the exchange at that, I carried my latte and my phone back to my bedroom, setting them down on the nightstand before I walked over to the window and drew my curtains shut. Every step I took felt heavier than the one before it, my heart feeling like it was losing chunks of itself as I went.
When I finally crawled into my bed, I gave up the fight, and immediately, the autopilot I’d been operating on since Scarlett had taken her phone out of my hands disengaged. The strength I’d relied on to get away from the fair, the ranch, and the cowboy and to bring me safely home left me all at once and I cracked.
Big heaving sobs tore through me, wracking my body as tears started flowing and didn’t stop. I cried like never before, not even after I’d found out about Todd.
Being with Charlie had made me realize that I’d never loved my ex as much as I thought I had. I hadn’t loved him this way, the way I loved the lying cowboy. I hadn’t even known it was possible to love someone the way I loved Charlie.
I never would’ve stayed with Todd for so long and made the plans with him that I had if I had known it was possible to feel so connected to someone. With Charlie, it had been like the fibers of our respective beings had always been yearning for each other and had grown into one another as soon as we’d met.
Very quickly, he’d begun to feel not only like an equal, but a confidant. A best friend. The protector I hadn’t known I wanted and a lover I would never have gotten enough of. Our future together had started taking shape in my mind without any conscious thought whatsoever.
Everything with him had just happened so naturally that I never saw any of this coming. My phone started buzzing on the glass top of my nightstand and I groaned but rolled over to check the screen. No matter what Charlie had done, the fair was a project belonging to the firm. It was work, and if there was a problem, I couldn’t ignore it.
Thankfully, it wasn’t about the fair. MOM was blazoned across the screen and I silenced the ringer, knowing I would feel guilty about it later, but I dodged her call. Almost immediately, the next one came in and a pained moan escaped me between the sobs.
I knew I couldn’t dodge it again, though. She’d just keep calling, so I picked up, but I had trouble getting the words out. “Hi, Mom. Listen, I’m fine, but I can’t talk right no?—”
“Abi and I are taking the jet,” she said without any prelude and after only a brief pause. “We’ll be there in a few hours. It’s going to be okay, darling. We’re coming.”
“Mom, I?—”
“Nope. We’re coming. You need us. I can hear it. Your dad was right to ask me to check in on you. He knew something was wrong when he found out you’d left the fair. I’m calling your sister now. See you soon, honey.”
With that, she hung up and I sighed, but deep down, I was glad they were on their way. I burrowed into my pillows and I must’ve fallen asleep at some point because, the next thing I knew, Mom and Abi strode into my room.
Much to my surprise, my dad was there too.
“We knocked,” Mom said quietly as she sat down on my bed, a vision of worry as her brow puckered and her eyes shone. “When you didn’t answer the door, we tried it and it was open.”
“Crap,” I muttered groggily, sitting up and letting her wrap her arms around me. “I must’ve forgotten to lock it behind me when I got back from the ranch.”
Heavy thuds from the other side of the bed told me Abi was dropping her shoes. Then the mattress dipped and my sister climbed in beside me, joining the hug my mom still had me gathered in. “What happened, Livvy? Is it Charlie? Is he okay?”
“Oh, he’s just fine,” I managed to bite out between the tears. Then I broke down and told them everything—even though this was the first my dad was hearing about any of it.
He sat down at the foot of my bed and listened intently, surprising me again when he didn’t seem angry by the time I’d shared the whole story. “Why didn’t you just tell me, Liv? Why hide it?”
“I didn’t want you to think I was unprofessional or to be upset because he’s a client,” I choked out, covering my face with my hands. “I’m sorry, Daddy. What a mess.”
Dad smiled when I peeked out at him from between my fingers. To my greatest surprise, he seemed amused. Sympathetic, but definitely amused. “Jack is one of my best buddies, baby. We almost went to jail together back in the day for raising hell together. He’s not just a client.”
“What?” I frowned. “But…”
He sighed. “I should’ve told you more about it, but I suppose I didn’t think there was any reason to. I really like Charlie, baby girl. I always have, and you should know that I think that girl fed you a pack of lies. I thought I raised you smarter than that.”
My heart tripped over itself. “She had proof, Daddy.”
“Are you sure? Jack used to talk about Scarlett pretty often back in the day. Said the only difference between her and a rattle snake was the lipstick. She shattered that boy and the whole family hates her. Hell, if this fair wasn’t for the benefit of local farmers, I don’t think Jack would’ve let her onto his property again.”
“But—”
Dad shook his head. “Let me talk to Jack. He’ll give me the truth. I don’t think the version that woman gave you is it.”
“I didn’t want to believe it either, Daddy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.” My heart cracked all over again at having to say the words, but the very last thing I wanted was for this to hurt my father as well. “You and Jack shouldn’t get involved and mess up your friendship.”
“If there’s one thing I know about the Andersons, it’s that they’re honest people.” He gave me another smile and rose slowly from the bed. “Just let me speak to him. I’ll find out what really happened.”
I sighed as I sagged into my mother’s arms. “Good luck. Everything I was told and shown proves the opposite of Charlie, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Dad leaned over to rub my shoulders, then silently left me to cry with my mom and sister. Saying it all out loud had left me feeling exhausted, hollow, and sore.
Judging by the way I felt right then, it was going to take me a long time to recover from this one.
If I ever recovered at all.