Chapter Twenty-Five
Twenty-Five
For reasons I cannot explain, I slink off to the stockroom before Amelia Mae and Fiona leave the bookstore.
Of course, Amelia Mae has already hugged me a whole bunch of times and vowed to return before I even realize she’s gone.
I still can’t help but feel…well, a bit abandoned.
Sure, there’s a lake between us, and that’s a reason to not be together.
But it doesn’t seem like reason enough.
Eventually I venture back out to the main floor.
Riley’s making adjustments to the new Romance section, Dane’s behind the register, and Miguel’s at the end of the counter.
His bent neck and tight expression tell me there’s nothing good about the goodbye he just said to Fiona.
I expect him to go take my place in the stockroom or announce that it’s time to go home.
Instead, he lifts his head and regards Dane, who’s just finished ringing up a customer.
“So, where are you drifting to next?” he asks.
“Whaddaya mean?”
“You said you don’t like to stay put for too long,” says Miguel. “So, where’s the next adventure?”
Dane, who seems genuinely surprised by his question, considers it for a moment.
“Well, at some point I want to hit up Morocco, and Guatemala’s for sure on my list. But you know Michigan’s the best place to be in the summer.
If you’re in the Northern Hemisphere, at least—otherwise it’s New Zealand.
I’m thinking I’ll explore more of the east side of the state sometime soon, since I still haven’t been to Lake Erie.
Wait a minute—is this your sneaky way of letting me know you’re getting rid of me? ”
“No, Dane. Well, I might have to get rid of everyone if we can’t keep the store open. But in this case, I was just thinking about what you said about being restless.”
I expect Dane to crack a joke, but he leans forward and says quietly, “I’m good for now. How are you feeling, chief? Guessing having them in town felt like a lot, even if you liked it?”
“Who says I liked it?”
“Your face.”
“Okay, okay. It was…nice.”
“Yeah. I know we got off to a rocky start there in Chicago, but Fiona seems cool. The kid’s not half-bad, either.”
Miguel nods.
“You think you’ll see her again?” Dane asks. “Like, in a romantic way?”
He looks across the room for a moment before turning his attention back to Dane. “I don’t know. It feels early. It feels weird.”
Dane twists up his lips on one side of his mouth. Then he sighs loudly through his nose, like I sometimes do. “Yeah, I get that. Reminds me of after my parents split.”
“You didn’t mention your parents were divorced.”
“Happened right after they shipped me off to school.”
“Guessing that sucked.”
“It did,” Dane says matter-of-factly. “And less than a year later, my mom introduces me to this guy named Silas, who she’s really, really into. I’m like, ugh—no thanks, I already have a dad, and this dude’s obviously a rebound, right?”
“…Right,” says Miguel. I don’t know where Dane’s taking this, either, but we both keep listening.
“Well, Silas ended up sticking around. They dated for a couple years, and I basically couldn’t stand him, even though my dad, not Silas, was the reason my parents broke up.
Now, I’m not on the best terms with my dad, since he’s always made it clear I wasn’t the kind of son he was hoping for.
But I still thought liking anything about Silas was betraying him. ”
“I’m sorry,” says Miguel. “About your father, I mean.”
“Yeah, me, too,” says Dane, and there’s a skosh of sadness in his voice this time.
“When I was almost done with college, my mom and Silas finally tied the knot. I came home one summer. I didn’t usually do that, I always tried to be somewhere else—but this time, I spent a couple weeks with them because my mom was really nagging me about giving Silas a chance. ”
“I’m not angling to be a stepfather, Dane.”
“Dude, I hope you know that’s not my point.”
“I continue to await said point.”
Dane waves at an older couple who has just entered the store, then returns his attention to Miguel.
“Turns out Silas is the bomb. Like, he knows how to get bees to make honey in his backyard and speaks all these languages, and you can ask him about, I don’t know, some obscure detail in the Constitution or the origins of punk rock and he’ll have the answer.
The funny thing is, he’s a lawyer, too, and in a weird way, he helped me understand my dad better.
But he’s actually the one who told me I didn’t have to become one. He said I should go live and be happy.”
“And…are you?”
“Mostly, yeah. I’d like to fall in love again.
It’s the best feeling in the world, and I’m thinking there’s some possibility that with the right person, that feeling could last a long time, just like you had with Amelia,” he says, nodding at Miguel.
“Which is I guess the point I didn’t know I was trying to make.
I know you miss Amelia more than anything, and that’s a sign of how solid you two were.
But it’s okay to trust your feelings. The new ones, I mean. ”
Miguel’s making the same twisted-lip expression Dane was earlier. “And if those feelings are in conflict with the old ones?”
“Welcome to being a human, my dude.”
His smile’s only a little sad. “Dane?”
“Yeah, chief?”
“You’re not half-bad yourself.”
Dane claps Miguel on the shoulder. “I knew you’d start to come around. I’m here if you need me.”
The phone on the wall rings loudly, startling Miguel.
Dane spins around to answer it. “Lakeside Books. Oh, hey—you don’t say! Yeah, he’s still here. I’ll put him on.” In a loud whisper, he tells Miguel, “It’s your lady friend,” and hands him the phone.
“Fiona?” he says, cradling the receiver between his ear and shoulder. “No, it’s no trouble at all. Really. Don’t move—I’ll be right there.”
He hangs up, then grabs his keys from underneath the counter.
I’m already on all fours, set to go wherever it is that Fiona and Amelia Mae are surely waiting, but he doesn’t have my leash in hand.
Since his own excitement has made him impervious to subtlety, I trot beside him.
But when we reach the door, he finally realizes what I’m doing and shakes his head at me.
“Sorry, Harold. Given the circumstances, I think it’s best if you wait here. ”