Chapter 13 Maggie
MAGGIE
Iknow that Dog’s worried about me. Scratch that; they're all worried about me. They’ve all checked in on me over the last two years.
Hovering and making sure I know that I’m not alone.
They all love me. I know this, but that doesn’t fix the ache I have in my chest — that one of my chicks is out there somewhere alone.
It’s the same ache I carried when my boys were in the military; I just hid it better back then.
I’m not sure what happened at Sam and Ally’s wedding, but Dog came back in from his smoke and declared we’d be going to visit Bull and Noni for Christmas. Everyone was on board for that, and before I knew it, tickets were booked, cases were packed, and we were on our way.
It was exactly what I’d needed. That and spending time with another of my girls.
Because while Noni might not be mine by blood, I’d raised her along with Kate.
It was good to see her happy after so many years of sadness.
I’d been sitting on the swing on the long veranda that ran along the length of the hotel watching the men and kids play in the pool.
Kate, Bev, and Maura were lying on sun loungers catching the last of the late afternoon sun.
I’d come back from my afternoon pampering session and decided that I didn’t feel like sitting in the sun and had chosen the swing, shade and an ice-cold G I can read it clearly in her eyes. “Of course, I’m glad you all made it. I’d have you every year if you could all make it. I miss you all so much.”
“Oh, honey, we miss you all too but we also know that this is where you’re meant to be. What you’re all building here is wonderful. Besides, you all make enough money that you can visit us whenever you want.”
“I know,” Noni smiles, sitting up but staying close, taking my hand in hers.
We watch our families horsing around in silence.
There’s a lot of laughter, bickering and name-calling.
The sounds fill me with warmth, and I snigger as Dog takes Gunny down, pushing him under water before swimming away.
You’d think they were twenty again, not men in their sixties.
“She’ll be okay, you know,” Noni says softly. I turn to look at her. She eyes me steadily. “She knows how to contact you if she needs your help. I’m guessing she hasn’t used her safe word yet?”
“No, she hasn’t. Do you think she’d remember it?”
“I still remember it,” Noni replies. “I remember when you and Aunt Kate had us memorise them in case, we ever needed you to come and get us. Strawberry Milkshake.”
I murmured, “Something that you could drop into conversation and we’d know you needed us.”
“Yeah, and if she hasn’t used it then you know she’s okay. She’s smart. Smarter than all of us, she’s trained probably more than we know because you know she’s an overachiever. Bella’s okay, Aunt Maggie. She’ll come home when she’s ready.”
“It’s been over two years though,” I murmur.
“Mm and I never came home,” Noni agrees.
“I know that’s what you’re worried about.
That she’ll never feel comfortable enough to come home.
And that may be something that will happen but Bella loves you and Dog.
She’ll always keep you updated even if it’s just with messages and when she’s healed enough, I bet she ends up close to you again.
Maybe not living at the Manor because she has a soft heart and she’d not want to make it awkward for Ally but she’ll be close. She’s a smart cookie.”
“She is,” I agree. Squeezing Noni’s hand, I say. “Thank you, sweet girl. I miss you too, you know. You were my girl long before Bella came along, but I’m glad you’re happy.”
“I am happy,” Noni agrees.
As we watch our families laughing and shouting at each other, a feeling of peace flows over me.
Life was uncertain, and I needed to remember that, but Noni had reminded me of something I’d forgotten.
Bella hadn’t used the safe word, and I know without a doubt that if she needed us, she’d find a way to let us know.
Noni was right; Bella would come home when she was ready. I needed to keep the faith and be there for her when she did come home. Until then, I’d remember how good life was with the family I had surrounding me and do better at not worrying about things I couldn’t change.
Little did I know that my wait was almost over. But the daughter who had left us was not the same as the one that returned to us.