Chapter 2 #4
Well, damn. Here I was, thinking I’d only need to set aside about ￡50 for the night.
Turns out the cost of living has hit every industry hard.
But, to be clear – AGAIN – this was purely for research purposes – I had no intention of actually going through with hiring an escort for the evening.
I mean, I’m a Black woman in my thirties.
That’s just not something we do … right?
As I walked back to work, I decided to text my best friend, Sade, for advice.
I needed someone to confirm that what I was doing was absolutely insane, and there was no one more level-headed than her.
We’d met back at university while studying the same course and living in the same halls of residence.
From the start, we became fast friends, with Sade often acting as the voice of reason to counterbalance my chaotic, impulsive decisions.
The only annoying thing about our friendship was the fact that she currently lived on the outskirts of West London, meaning we always had to schedule our hangings-out way in advance instead of being more spontaneous.
Babes! A quick one; I joined this site called ‘OuiMeet’ a few mins ago (it’s a sex worker app lololol) and I feel like I’m this close to renting an escort to go on a date with, ’cause all these dates I’m going on are fried and I just wanna feel nice for once.
Questions? Thoughts? Concerns? PS The one I found also likes cats. Cats!! Toby could make a new friend! xx
I knew Sade would waste no time questioning my sanity and talking me out of it.
What I was doing was, without a doubt, ridiculous.
And let’s not even get started on the social implications – if word ever got out that I’d rented an escort, I’d be done for.
If my family ever found out? Game over. I’d have no choice but to pack up my things, move to a nunnery in the Vatican, and live out the rest of my days in shameful silence, reflecting on my poor life choices while a six-foot-four nun with a cowbell screamed ‘SHAME!’ at me every seven seconds.
OK, maybe I was exaggerating a little, but the absolute last thing you’d want is for your West African parents to find out you were paying for companionship – and, by implication, sex.
Of course, all of this was irrelevant, because Sade was bound to knock some sense into me and remind me just how ridiculous this whole idea was anyway.
As I stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for my floor, my phone buzzed in my pocket.
A message from Sade. Ah, good old Sade – my wise, level-headed friend.
She’d set me straight, no doubt, and remind me that there were far better things ahead for me than stooping to this level of desperation … probably.
Call me xxxxxx
I looked at my watch. I had a few minutes before stepping back into the office. Would I have time for a full best-friend verbal flogging right now? I chanced it, and dialled her number. Sade picked up on the second ring.
‘OK, talk to me,’ Sade demanded, slightly breathless, as if she were sitting out in the cold. ‘What’s this about renting someone online?’
I talked her through everything I had done thus far – filling out my profile and attaching a photo, and finding a couple of profiles that had tickled my fancy. At the end, I waited for Sade to speak; to tell me off for even contemplating such a ridiculous idea.
After about a minute, she spoke.
‘I actually think it’s a brilliant idea, babe,’ she responded, somewhat enthusiastically.
Wait, huh?
I scratched my head in confusion. That wasn’t how this was supposed to go at all.
I replied impatiently. ‘Erm, what? That’s not the response I was expecting.
Where’s the cussing out? Where’s the shouting?
I thought you were gonna talk me out of it!
’ I was outside the main entrance of the hospital by now, stamping my feet side by side in a bid to create some warmth.
I refused to go back in until Sade spoke some sense into me.
‘Why would you think I would say that? I think it’s super empowering, and in a way, it puts you in the driver’s seat, doesn’t it?
And if all else fails, you could just see it as a completed side mission, you know?
Like those quests you’re always trying to complete in Zelda. Chalk it up to the game!’
I almost felt betrayed. I couldn’t believe she was on board. She was supposed to be the sensible one.
‘Yeah, but what if—’ I started, and was immediately cut off.
‘Bitch, life is too short for ifs and buts, let’s be real.
You only have one life, and you want to fill it with as many memorable and random moments as possible, you get me?
You’ve been doing the dating thing for ages and people keep taking the piss.
Take the bull by the horns and shag as many guys as you can on YOUR watch.
Why? Because you deserve it. Now, we’ll talk about this later – I popped outside to chat to you and I’m freezing my arse off.
Love you!’ and with that, the phone went dead.
I stared at my phone in disbelief. Oh, for fuck’s sake.