Chapter 18 #2
I held back, careful not to say too much too soon – I didn’t want to scare him off. But deep down, I hoped we’d get the chance to talk properly. There were things I needed to say, and they’d been sitting heavy on my chest for far too long. Luckily, minutes later he had sent a response:
Hi Cassandra. I’ve been well, thanks. I hope you have too. May I please have the time of the wedding, as well as the location? I can drive to your place about an hour beforehand so we can go through any last-minute details, and then I will drive us there.
I don’t know what I had been anticipating, but it wasn’t that. His response was cold and formal, yet he had agreed to come along, so I couldn’t really gauge where his head was at. Was he pissed off at me or not? I quickly responded, matching his energy:
Thanks, Theo. Details below:
Ceremony (11 a.m.) – Emmanuel Gateway Church, 376 Lee High Street, SE12 8RS
Reception (1 p.m. – late) – The Dixon Hotel, Tower Bridge, SE1 2JX
I’m looking forward to seeing you; it would be good to talk. Cassie x
I didn’t get an acknowledgement of my response until I was at work the next morning. He had sent a simple reply, ‘thanks’.
To be honest, I deserved the cool response. I was the one in the wrong, and I intended to make it right, if he would give me the chance.
I found myself counting down the days until the wedding, even catching myself browsing for a new dress – something more form-fitting, something that might turn Theo’s head.
But deep down, I knew the dress I had was perfectly fine.
It wasn’t really about the dress at all; it was just me, trying to control something small when everything else felt so uncertain between me and him.
‘That’s my girl! I think you’re doing the right thing, personally,’ said Sade over the phone, two days before the big day. I’d called her for a last-minute pep-talk beforehand, on the way home from work; I needed all of the positivity I could muster at this point.
‘The fact that he’s even coming is a big deal. It shows that he still cares about you! I think it’ll probably mean a lot to him that you’ve extended the olive branch too; try not to be too nervous. You’re going to absolutely smash it, OK?’
‘I hear you, sis,’ I whined, chewing the corner of my freshly manicured thumbnail. ‘It’s wild; I’ve never cared this much about any man before; and it low-key annoys me that I’ve been thinking about him as much as I have.’
‘Mmhm,’ Sade replied somewhat sarcastically. ‘Because he’s the first person to make you feel seen; truly seen and cherished. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how much more confident you’ve been over the last couple of months, babe. You owe it to yourself to at least try?’
Sade was right; she was always right, and I loved her for it. Outside of the crippling pain of rejection, what else was there to lose? I decided to send him a text, hoping he would respond.
Hey Theo, I’m really looking forward to seeing you on Saturday. I hope you’ve had a great week!
A few minutes later, he responded:
Hey Cassandra, my week has been great thanks, I hope yours has too, and I’m looking forward to Saturday too. I’ll get to your place around 9.30 a.m. :)
A smiley face! We had made small progress, at last. I smiled to myself as I got off the bus and took the short walk home. Once home, I took out my dress again, admiring how pretty it was and how amazing I would look on the day. My excitement had been bumped up to a ten and I couldn’t wait.
My alarm went off at 6.30 a.m. It was the day of the wedding, and after a brief phone call with my mum for moral support, I started my beauty regime.
Bianca had volunteered months before to help my mum get ready in the morning for the wedding, as she was a qualified make-up artist and hair stylist, which my mum dutifully and enthusiastically accepted without hesitation.
This left me free to wax, tint and beat my face and body into submission.
After taking an ‘everything’ shower, I moved onto using my Palmer’s Cocoa Butter body oil, to give my skin a gorgeous, subtle glow.
I then sprayed a thin layer of my Diptyque perfume and allowed my body to dry before putting on my underwear: a pair of black lacy thongs with a matching black push-up strapless bra I’d gotten on sale from Curvy Kate.
After the underwear was on, it was time to quickly do my hair, which was easy.
I bent my head down to gather all the strands of my freshly retwisted Senegalese twists into my large hair tie and swooped it into a tight high-bun, securing it with a few pins.
It was formal, yet demure, and accentuated my cheekbones beautifully.
After that was done, I started on my make-up.
I decided to forego my usual signature red lipstick and instead opt for a soft-matte, neutral look, finishing off with a golden pearlescent highlighter on the tops of my cheeks, a deep plum blush from NARS and a translucent mauve lipstick from Fenty Beauty.
To add a bit of pizazz, I had also carefully drawn on some fake freckles around my nose, to make the look more cherub-like.
The whole look had taken about an hour to do, but I had to admit, I looked sensational if I said so myself.
As I sat on the bed, I received a direct text from Theo, as opposed to a OuiMeet message – once again, progress!
Morning, Cassie, I’m on my way. I should be at yours by about 9.30 a.m.
It was 8 a.m., which gave me a bit of time to chill out and calm myself down.
I carefully refilled Toby’s wet food for his breakfast and went to lie on my bed, making sure to stay completely still so as not to disrupt my make-up.
There was something undeniably poetic about today – the quiet thread of second chances woven through it all.
My mum, stepping into a new chapter of love and happiness.
And me, holding onto the hope that I might still have a chance to make things right with Theo.
It felt like a reminder that maybe, just maybe, it’s never too late to start again.
At 9.20 a.m., I stepped into my dress, breathing in a little as the corseted bust went past my torso snugly.
The fit was a little tighter than when I’d tried it on previously, and I realised I was having a bit of trouble doing the zip up.
Shit. I hopped around in the mirror a few times, trying to force the zip up my back, but my arms were simply too short.
Moments later came the sound of my intercom.
I shuffled towards the corridor to answer it; it was Theo, standing there looking as beautiful as ever.
I let him in and opened my door while I went back to the mirror, slightly panicking over the dress.
Moments later, he appeared, taking up the entire height and width of the doorframe, as usual. He looked sharp.
He was clean shaven, and smelled like oud and sandalwood; a rich and intense scent.
He was wearing a grey three-piece suit, with the blazer having a slightly tailored silhouette, nipping in his waist and making his shoulders look massive.
He didn’t come to play around, he looked expensive, and gorgeous.
‘Hey, Cassie,’ he said, closing the door behind him as I continued to stare at him, open-mouthed. Looking like a male model, I could already tell that he would be the talk of the wedding today. And he’ll be all mine, if just for the day.
‘Need a hand with that?’ he asked, stepping behind me.
His fingers brushed the small of my back as he slowly pulled up the zip of my dress.
The moment his touch met my skin, a shiver ran through me, electric and familiar.
In an instant, I was transported back to all the moments we’d shared – the way he used to touch me, how effortlessly he could undo me.
Right then, I wanted him. Completely. I hadn’t realised just how much I’d missed him until that very second.
‘Thanks; thank you so much,’ I whispered, turning to face him.
I wanted to hug him, but I had to tread carefully and let him lead.
We still needed to talk things out, after all.
‘You look amazing by the way, is this a designer suit?’ I playfully tapped his shoulder, smiling meekly at him.
He returned my smile as he gave himself a quick peek in the mirror.
‘I do scrub up well, don’t I?’ he teased, meeting my gaze.
‘And thanks! It’s an Issey Miyake suit. I rented it from one of those designer rental sites; thought I would treat myself seeing as it’s a special occasion and all.
’ He spun around, giving me a full 360; he was really feeling himself and I loved that for him.
He then turned round and gazed at me, his wide grin breaking into a smile.
‘As for you,’ he said quietly, ‘you look breathtaking. You’re so incredibly beautiful, Cassie, damn. ’
If I were capable of blushing, I would’ve done so right then and there.
We locked eyes for a brief moment, the air heavy with tension, both of us searching for some unspoken signal.
He took a step towards me, then quickly pulled back.
At that moment, all I wanted was to throw my arms around him, but I forced myself to hold back.
We couldn’t let everything unravel just yet. The wedding had to come first.
‘Thank you so much,’ I managed to muster in my raspiest, sexiest voice. The re-seduction was going to start now. ‘We should get going; it’ll probably take us about forty minutes to get to the church.’
In the car, we drove in near silence, stealing occasional glances at each other, followed by brief, shy, nervous smiles.
It felt like we were two teenagers on our first date – awkward, a little clumsy, and wrapped in a thousand things left unsaid.
I decided to break the tension by talking logistics.
‘OK, so, when we get there and anyone asks you about us, you can just say we’re dating and that we met through friends or something.’
‘Gotcha,’ Theo said.