The monsters were in my head
Iwake up to pounding on my door. Not the kind with a warm smile and a welcome box, like Vienna on move-in day.
No. This knock is deafening, rattling hinges up and down the hall.
My body feels exhausted. Maybe I’m getting sick?
Oh, wait, no, the reason I can’t seem to function anymore is a certain blond-haired, tall, pierced lunatic.
A girl’s voice shouts from somewhere down the hall. “Emergency meeting in the main auditorium. I repeat, emergency, please hurry!” Her tone is urgent, edged with panic.
I rub my eyes. My limbs are heavy as I rip off the covers.
I go to my sink and splash cold water on my face.
It does the trick in seconds. I quickly throw on a workout set and brush my teeth before stepping out into the hallway, locking my room behind me.
The hallway is chaos. Everyone moves with the same frantic purpose, wondering what’s going on at eight in the morning.
I fall into step, carried by the current toward the center of campus.
Inside, the air is thick as we all look around, confused.
I drop into a seat near the aisle. The buzzing and whispers cut off as Dean Collins steps to the podium.
Usually, he’s all smiles and practiced charm.
Today, his face is pale, lips pressed thin.
An armed officer stands to the side, along with two others—a woman, and a man, by my guess, detectives.
What the fuck is going on? I scan the crowd again, but there are too many faces to point out anyone in particular.
“Hello, everyone.” Everyone quiets as the dean continues to speak. “It’s with a heavy heart that I tell you we lost one of our own students.” Gasps ripple through the crowd, and my skin prickles.
Dean Collins holds up his hand, silencing the room.
The hairs on my arms stand up. “Amelia English sadly passed away off campus last night.
The investigation is active. Please, if you have any information about Amelia's whereabouts, it would be appreciated.” My stomach drops.
“These detectives will also be here today for anything you may need. They will be located in Ashford Hall, taking statements.” He motions to the man and woman off to the side.
He keeps talking about counselors, a vigil on Saturday at seven, but the words blur, muffled, like I’m hearing them underwater. All I can think is Amelia is dead. My gut heaves. My damp palms smear against my thighs. Faces blur together when I look around. I follow in a daze when everyone gets up.
Roxy catches my eye and rushes over to me. “Holy shit. Amelia is dead,” she whispers.
I nod, no words able to form.
She stops me with a hand on my arm. “You good?”
“Yeah,” I lower my voice. “Is it bad that I feel…nothing?”
She furrows her brows and rears back. “I don’t either. She hurt you emotionally and physically. In my book, she was all but dead anyway. But do you think it was an accident or more? They were pretty vague.”
My thoughts exactly, and it’s why a sudden cold sweat breaks out over my forehead. Because why do I have a feeling it wasn’t an accident, and why do the unknown texts suddenly flash in my mind?
“I don’t know…”
On our way out, Vienna and Callan wait right outside, talking in hushed tones. We cut over to them.
“Hey, you, okay?” I wrap Vee in my arms.
She looks like I just grew another head. “Lyra after…I couldn’t care less about them.” Warmth seeps into my bones. “I’m just shocked, I mean, I just saw her—” She pulls back, shaking her head.
“Do you know anything about what happened?”
Callan looks at his sister, then at me. “Let’s head to town and get breakfast. We can take my car. Campus is going to be crawling all day.”
I nod and follow them toward the parking garage.
“Amelia was a bitch.”
“You can’t speak badly about the dead.”
“Leo.”
“Murdered?”
“Maybe Jade killed her.”
We all glance at each other, hearing the whispers around us. Everyone is speculating about what happened. The clouds are gradually getting darker, filling with rain as the wind picks up.
I hop into the back seat with Roxy as we take the twenty-minute drive to Hallows diner.
The cab is silent, except for the light tap-tap-tap of rain on the window.
The red neon signs above the door are a beacon as we walk inside.
Black gauze shades and checkered tiles fill the space with the aroma of coffee and warm comfort food.
We take a seat in one of the open booths, the cushion swallowing me whole.
The waitress, about our age, with striking black hair that pops against the red button-down uniform she wears, comes up to the table.
Her name tag reads Nova. Callan does a double take when he sees her.
We give our drink orders, and she nods, returning with piping hot mugs of coffee and Roxy’s cocoa.
“Can I get cream and sugar?”
Nova looks at Callan with a scowl. “If you waited two seconds.” She reaches inside her apron and drops a handful of every sugar and cream imaginable.
Roxy snorts, and I cover my mouth. We all sit in silence for a few seconds, sipping our drinks after she leaves. Heat loosens my shoulders with each sip.
“Well, she was friendly,” Callan remarks.
“You okay, Cal?” Vienna asks her brother. I look over, confused.
“Yeah, Vee, I’m good.”
“Did I miss something…” Roxy’s just as confused as I am.
“She just looks like someone I used to know.” Callan’s tone is sorrowful, and it pinches my chest; the usually lighthearted warmth is replaced with a deep longing.
Roxy and I don’t push; instead, Roxy leans forward. “Vee, I’m on pins and needles.”
Vienna looks up and takes a deep breath, like the weight of the world is sitting on her narrow shoulders.
“They all went to the Beta fraternity party last night. Well, everyone but Blaine. Leo and Amelia were fighting about Jade. I think I don’t know.
I haven’t spoken to them since…” She looks to me. “Anyway, Amelia was wasted.”
“Wait, hold up,” I say, raising my hand to stop her. “Callan, you didn’t go to the party?”
“No, I stayed home. I didn’t even know Vienna went.”
She rolls her eyes behind her glasses. “When I head in to give my statement, I can find out more.”
I know I shouldn’t ask, and it will only raise suspicion, but I have to. The image of him pinning Amelia in the library flashes like a big red neon sign. If he could do that in the open, what could he do in the dark? “Do either of you know where Oliver was last night?”
The siblings trade a look. “Why do you ask?” Callan eyes me over the rim of his coffee. Just then, Nova comes back with our orders of pancakes, and instead of answering, I stall by forking a huge bite into my mouth.
“He was at the party for a little while,” Vee answers.
I school my face. Glad he can go out and party while I sit in my room and replay every interaction we’ve had thus far. That’s not the complete truth. I wasn’t just sitting in my dorm room last night, but they don’t need to know that. It could look suspicious if anyone found out what I was up to.
“Why do you want to know where Oliver was?” Callan asks with suspicion lining his face. I shrug and reply with a half-truth.
“Just curious.” When Callan stares at me for a beat too long, I narrow my eyes right back.
“If something happened, they’d warn us, right?” The tremble in her voice doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Yeah, definitely.” Even to my own ears, I sound unconvinced.
We finish up and get the check. I grab it, throwing down some cash, and stand up. “I just remembered I need to get back. I have an assignment due tonight and haven’t started.”
“Yeah, I need to go give that statement,” Vienna says, sliding out of the booth. Roxy follows, while Callan and I hang back.
“Why ask about Oliver?”
“Because…I think I’m starting to understand what he’s capable of.”
“If he let you see any part of him that isn’t what he gives the world, then you’re already too deep.”
“Oh, great.” I break eye contact, glancing at Roxy and Vee chatting away next to the car, waiting for us, oblivious to the torment swirling around me.
“Oliver…he doesn’t do halfway.”
“You ever worry he’ll snap?”
Callan tenses. “He didn’t do anything to Amelia, if that’s what you are insinuating.”
“I wasn’t…” I backtrack because, as much as Callan and I are friends, his loyalty lies with Oliver. I can’t blame that, yet I also need to watch what I say.
“Hurry up, guys, it’s starting to rain again!” Roxy shouts at us.
A ding comes through my phone, and I immediately tense. At first, I thought the unknown texts were from Jade trying to fuck with me, but now, with Amelia's death, I’m not so sure.
Unknown:
Such a shame Amelia died. Hopefully, no one looks in your direction…
“What’s wrong?” Callan’s voice is harsh, trying to get a glance at the screen.
I quickly tuck my phone in my purse. “Nothing, just a wrong number.”
“Lyra.”
“It's fine, promise!” I assure him, continuing walking to his truck.
“I don't believe you.” He catches up.
“Good thing you don’t have to.” Rain slowly starts to fall. I look up for a moment, breathing it in, trying to steady my beating heart.