33. Alessia
Chapter thirty-three
Alessia
“ A lessia!” Massimo’s roar finally breaks through to me. “Alessia!” It grows closer, and I look down to see my knife still stabbing into flesh and blood. The face unrecognizable.
I’m covered from head to toe in blood, including my exposed breasts. Shit, he can’t see me like this. None of them can. I jump up to franticly find something to cover myself with. Racing over to the bed, I snatch the small throw blanket to wrap around myself just in time.
Jino, our cousin, is the first familiar face to appear behind the stacked-up bodies inside the doorway. “Up here!” He climbs over the dead men and rushes to me. “Alessia. Are you alright?” I nod my head. “Let me see.” He tries to reach for my face, and I rear back some on reaction.
“Gemma,” I croak.
His eyes widen in fear as he scours the room with his gaze. “Where is she? Is she okay?”
“She went for the panic room up here. Go.”
Just as he turns, Massimo literally comes barreling into the room, looking deranged and utterly mad. “Alessia!” he yells again, even though he can clearly see me standing here. I hug the blanket closer, feeling so ashamed. It’s unfair the way a man can so instantaneously make a woman feel violated.
His hands cradle my face as soon as he reaches me, making me wince in pain as he inspects me. His chest is rising and falling, and his eyes are wildly jerking all over the place.
“I’m okay.” My voice is hoarse coming out. “I swear I’m okay.” My face hurts like hell, but it could have been much worse.
He takes notice of the blanket I’m tightly grasping, and he tries tugging on it with flaring nostrils. “Drop the fucking blanket, Alessia,” he warns, his voice sounding like nothing I’ve heard from him before.
Not having much of a choice because I’m temporarily out of fight, I drop the blanket, and my hands jump up to hold my ripped dress over my breasts. “I’m okay, Massimo. Really.”
His breath is coming in ragged as he snarls at my torn clothing. Then he tries to yank my dress up my legs, and I smack at his hands. “Massimo! Stop!” I glance at all the men in the room as they inspect all the dead bodies. Without taking his eyes off me, he orders everyone to leave. He’s looking more wrathful by the second, like the growing cloud mushrooming from an atomic blast.
“Pull your dress up now, or I will rip the rest of it off you.” Spit comes flying out, and I feel like combusting into tears of embarrassment. Men never have to worry about anything like this.
Taking a breath, I bunch my dress up for him in humility, feeling like I’m being violated all over again. He drops down to his knees to examine me up close. My panties are still in one piece, and there aren’t any signs of struggle down there.
Jumping to his feet, he crushes my body against his. My face is killing me as it’s smushed into his chest, but I don’t dare tell him. I’m pretty sure he’s more fucked up about this than me right now. The adrenaline keeps the trauma at bay, and I’m sure the scene is more gruesome to any onlooker.
“Massimo. Please tell me everyone is okay. Please,” I whisper.
“We haven’t found Gemma yet, but your brothers and your mother are fine.”
“Gemma went to the panic room. I don’t think anyone got past to get to her.”
The tension in his body intensifies, and he gradually leans back. “And why didn’t you go to the panic room?” His voice is like ice causing me to physically shiver.
“There wasn’t enough time. They were already coming up the stairs so I had to hold them back so Gemma could make a run for it,” I rush the words out.
“You didn’t have to do shit . You could’ve hidden and waited it out!”
“You weren’t there! You didn’t know the situation!”
He’s deathly silent and still for a moment, then his grip on my upper arms is now bone-crushing, and he trembles as his face turns a shade darker. “You’re also a smart woman, so act like it. It was you against an army.”
“Yeah, and I handled them,” I chop out each word.
“No. You got lucky.”
“Fuck you, Massimo. I did exactly what I had to do. If I hadn’t held them back, Gemma wouldn’t have been able to get to the panic room, and you and I both know she’d be completely helpless against those men. I’d be trying to protect both of us from getting gang raped and then murdered,” I vehemently seethe, then throw my arm out, gesturing to the small army of men dead around us. “I knew what I was doing. It was either risk my life, or risk both of our lives.”
“No, you had to try and prove something. To show everyone you can play with the big boys. There’s a difference between being smart and being smug.”
“Oh, yeah? And what would you have done, Massimo?!” He doesn’t answer, and I nod my head. “Exactly. You would’ve done exactly what I did, but that’s okay, right? Because you’re a man and expected to fight, whereas I’m a woman, and I’m expected to cower under the fucking bed.”
“Is it so wrong that I want you safe?”
I let out a bitter chuckle. “Look around you! You act as if I went out there looking for a fight! The fight was brought to me simply because of my last name. I’m in the mob. I’ll never be safe .”
The lines on his forehead deepen. Suddenly, the background noise comes rushing in, and I know that my brothers need to see that I’m alright.
I go to step around Massimo as I mutter something about needing to go, and he blocks me. “Massimo. I’m not up for games right now.”
“We’re not done talking.”
“Well, I am. Now, move your big ass out of my way.”
“Not until we’re done talking.”
I try shoving by him and he makes the mistake of trying to detain me. I’m still in fighting mode. I scream through my teeth and start swinging at him while he tries to catch my fists and dodge them at the same time.
“The fuck is going on here?!” Tullio says, rushing in. Massimo and I both pause as we seethe at one another. Then Massimo’s eyes dart to my uncovered chest the same time I remember it, and he turns his back to block me as I try to cover myself back up.
“Nothing,” I snap, glaring up at the back of Massimo’s head. “This male chauvinist is being a stronzo right now.”
Tullio steps around Massimo and turns me to him to begin inspecting me, panting in rage. The more he sees, the more he fumes. He swears under his breath in Italian as his hands shake against me.
“I’m okay, Tullio.” His wild eyes snap up to mine, and then he’s crushing me against his body for an embrace.
The rest of my brothers begin trickling in, and they all do the same. Hugging me, examining me, cursing the dead Russians. But not one of them gives me shit about what I did today.
I can hear the voices of Mamma and Gemma, and I the shame burns my cheeks. “I didn’t want them to see this,” I murmur quietly to Santino, but it’s too late.
They come running into the room both in tears and engulf me. Ignoring the cuts and bruises on my face, my mother squeezes it as she peppers my face with kisses, and Gemma sobs. “I’m okay, I’m okay, Mamma. I swear.”
She hugs me again and then suddenly freezes in my arms and gasps. “ Mio Dio .” My God . She slowly pulls back, staring away in horror, and I can’t look her in the eye, nor Gemma. What they must be seeing. How they must see me now.
Crazy Alessia. Little Psycho. They’re no longer just names my brothers tease me with.
Gentle hands cup my face and make me look at Mamma in the face. “Gemma told me how brave you were, piccolina ,” she says, looking at me like she always has. “ Babbo would be so proud.”
“My defender,” Gemma adds in a shaky voice as she laces her fingers with mine, giving me a watery smile. I smile back, thinking about how she was like a precious stone locked away safely inside a vault, and I was the one guarding it.
After tossing my ripped and blood-soaked dress and grabbing some of Gemma’s clean clothes, I rinse off quickly in the shower and then let the doctor patch me up. Luckily, my nose isn’t broken, and with some painkillers and some ice, I’ll be good as new in a couple of weeks.
Massimo and I keep our distance from one another, and every time we make eye contact, he scowls and quickly averts his gaze. I don’t have the energy to deal with his little tirade, so I don’t. It infuriates me how badly I let it hurt me.
I had already planned to stay the night here, but it’s necessary for more reasons than one. Gemma and Mamma need me, and Massimo can go home to sulk alone.
I survived today and protected my sister. I know Babbo would be proud. At least, I hope he would be.
Hours later, I have Mamma and Gemma tucked into bed in my old bedroom. Both of them were so emotionally exhausted that they passed out soon after their heads hit the pillow.
So, I finally make my way down to the office. It’s still too hard to refer to it as Tullio’s office now, hence why it’s now the office.
I enter the room, and everyone glances at me. “Hey, there’s Jane the cock ripper,” Armando makes a jab, and it makes me bite back a bashful smile as everyone else laughs and takes their stabs at me. Everyone but Massimo, Tullio, and Santino. None of them are at all amused.
Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I say, “I should totally get it tatted.” I plop down onto the loveseat, trying to act as casually as possible.
The room quickly grows dead silent, and I soak it all in. The looks on their faces become grim and stricken as if suddenly remembering how I’ve earned yet another nickname, and it makes me snicker some. Something I tend to do when I’m slightly uncomfortable…or I should say when I’m making others uncomfortable.
Tullio clears his throat, and I’ve felt Massimo’s eyes practically singing my skin since I walked in.
“I need to speak with Alessia,” Tullio says, breaking the tension. “In private.” No one questions him as everyone files out quietly except for Massimo, who stands there still looking at me. “I’m sorry, Massimo. I won’t be long.”
“I’ll be waiting right outside,” he murmurs, reluctantly leaving us.
As soon as we’re alone, Tullio joins me on the loveseat. The soft fabric runs under my palms as I slide them around the surface. “If you ever decide to redecorate, promise me you won’t get rid of this couch. Or at least give it to me.”
Tullio has always taken his role as the eldest seriously. The only time I remember him anything less than serious was when Agnella was in his life. So, it's warming when he smiles like he does right now. “I promise.”
“Massimo is pissed at me,” I mutter. “Thinks I should’ve run to the panic room with Gemma.”
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, then over the scruff on his face. Poor guy has aged so much in the past few months. “As your older brother, I wish you did too.” I huff and fall back against the couch. “We can’t help the fact that we’d rather you do whatever it takes for you to be safe and not risk your life.”
“What don’t you guys get?” It hurts knowing that the only man who would be proud of me isn’t here to tell me so. “If I had run rather than held them back, Gemma wouldn’t have made it to the panic room. Neither of us would. And what do you think would’ve happened then? I’m not stupid or over-confident, and I know I could’ve been raped and killed, but it was either me or both of us. Be pissed at me all you want for doing that, but I would do it again in a heartbeat if given the choice. Even if I died.”
“I’m not upset with you, Alessia. I’m proud of you.”
“You are?” My voice raises.
“Of course I am. And Babbo would be too. I’m sure of it. He’s always been so proud of you. Even when he found out about you cutting off the Gallo’s boy’s cock and fed it to him.”
I bite back a smile. “Tell me.”
Tullio puts an arm around me, and we both lean back. He begins to tell me about that day. How he was horrified for a whole two seconds before bursting out in laughter. I needed this. To reminisce on the good memories.
“He always knew you could take care of yourself, Alessia. We all do. But we also wish you, Gemma, and Mamma could have a better life. Even Alba.”
I rear back, frowning. “A better life? I love my life, Tullio.”
He stares at me for a long moment. “Only because this is what you know.”
I sit up straight and twist my body inwards. “It’s because I’m a Bonetti, and it’s in my blood. This is all I know because it’s all I want to know. Babbo understood that. That’s why he let me train, why he didn’t have me go to college, why he arranged a marriage for me.”
“ Babbo would see things differently if he had lived through everything that has happened recently.”
“You can’t say that!”
He sighs heavily and leans forward, dragging his palms down his tired face. “You’re right. It isn’t fair to speak for him, but I can speak for the rest of us now. The ones who are still here and love you immensely. I have lost too many loved ones already.” His voice tightens towards the end, and his eyes glaze over with that anguish still just under the surface. “I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you girls.”
“It’s part of this life, Tullio. I won’t ever put myself in danger if there’s another choice. I didn’t have one today. Please see that,” I plead with him gently. I can see him breaking inside, and I don’t want to give him any more grief. He’s had enough.
He nods his head solemnly, and we grow quiet for a moment. “Did you really have to make that guy choke on his own dick again?” he mutters.
I snort. “He had some naughty plans with it. Mine were better.”