51. Alessia
Chapter fifty-one
Alessia
“ W hat are you doing?” I mumble as I’m jostled awake inside of Massimo’s arms.
“I didn’t want to wake you,” he murmurs, carrying me off the plane.
“I can walk, Massimo.”
“Why walk when you can be carried?” He smirks.
“You’re the one that’s been through the wringer. Put me down.”
“No.”
“Stubborn ass,” I mutter and wrap my arms around his neck to help hold some of my weight.
We slip into the waiting SUV and I look around. “They’ll be landing in less than an hour.” As always, he’s able to read my thoughts. He takes my hand in his and sighs. Then he rolls his head around his shoulders.
“Did you get some sleep on the plane?” I yawn and the vehicle starts moving.
“A couple hours.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes.”
“The bleeding stop?” He nods his head.
The rest of the ride home is completely silent, and although his hand firmly grasped with mine is reassuring, it still gives me flashbacks of when he suddenly went quiet on me before. He could be too tired to talk or maybe it hurts to, but it gives me anxiety, nonetheless.
A feast is prepared for when we get home. Most of us haven’t eaten in well over twenty-four hours, but I notice Massimo has barely touched his food.
“Does it hurt to eat?” I ask from beside him.
“I’m alright, baby.” He gives me a tight smile.
“We can go up anytime you want. I’m pretty full now.” I place my fork down.
“I have some things to take care of first.”
I mask the sting caused by his minor rejection. I thought he would be equally eager as me to be alone. “You should really relax and get some good sleep.” Despite everyone’s strong urging, he stubbornly declined any medical attention tonight. “Massimo—"
“Later, Alessia.” He kisses my forehead then stands up. Paralyzed by disbelief, I find myself unable to argue or protest.
I watch as he says something to Vinny and Ezzo and they leave the room together. He is not already trying to leave me out . I went to Russia guns blazing in a bullet proof vest that killed my ribs, I’m pretty sure rebreaking them, to save his ass when I was supposed to hate him. Not happening.
Getting up, I leave the room and head right to his office. The door is left cracked open and I don’t even try to eavesdrop or knock. I make my presence known and barge right in.
They all stop talking and Massimo sighs when he sees me. “I’m too tired, baby.”
I plant my hands on my hips, my temper quickly baited. “Tired for what?” He rubs at his temples then winces when he rubs too close to the swollen side of his face. “Massimo. If this has anything to do with the fucking Russians we just took on, I think I deserve to be in on it. I am the one who brought in the cavalry, and without me and my intel, no one would have come for you because they wouldn’t know where the fuck you were. I’m pretty sure after the last forty-eight hours I have more than earned my place.”
No one speaks as his shoulders visibly sag. “Okay, gattina . Have a seat.”
Wow. Two for two now. Wait. Three for three. First, Tullio including me, then Massimo not stopping me, now this. I’m finally getting somewhere. At almost twenty-five years old, I’m finally getting some respect. Respect I should not have to still fight for.
I yawn for the fifth time in ten minutes when Massimo says we’re calling it a night and the room empties. I know we’re both too tired to argue tonight, but I’m still fucking bitter.
“Alessia,” Massimo says firmly, demanding my attention.
Anger sizzles on the surface as he stares at me, and I avoid eye contact. “Let’s just go to bed, Massimo.” I stand up and finally look at him.
“Not until you speak your mind,” he says casually, remaining cooly seated behind his desk.
“It can wait until tomorrow. We’re both tired and you need to put ice on your eye again. Come on.” I turn and begin to head towards the door.
“Alessia, we are not going to bed until you get what it is off your chest,” he says so vehemently I come to an abrupt halt.
Slowly, I spin back around to face him, now wide awake and the anger that was sizzling is now boiling. “Fine. You want to have it out with me right now?” I stomp forward and start pointing my finger at him. “You were again going to leave me out!”
“And you were right, so I conceded,” he tries to cut me off with.
“After I invited myself into your little secret meeting! I shouldn’t have to at this point, Massimo. Either see me as your partner, or I swear to God I am gone,” I threaten.
He stands up quicker than I thought possible despite all his fresh wounds and injuries. His eyes now just as ablaze. Exhaustion completely obliterated as rage feeds us the strength we need for this blowout.
“Gone, gattina ? And where would you go?” he taunts.
“Anywhere I fucking want!”
“And you think you’ll find someone out there that’ll see you as I do? As the woman you are?” he says lowly as he begins to circle his desk.
My eyes widen in outrage. “I don’t need anyone, especially a fucking man , to tell me who I am, and what I am worth,” I seethe. How fucking dare he?! I used to think I needed to marry into power to gain power, but after being on my own, I’m acutely aware I can embody regal status solo.
His expression crumbles as he positions himself before me. Suppressing my emotions from spilling over in the form of tears consumes what little energy I have left. “Alessia,” he says with less anger. “I—”
I recoil, fighting the rise of sadness that’s rapidly replacing my anger. Each shake of my head brings me closer to breaking down. “That might be one of the most hurtful things you have ever said to me,” I strain through a sore throat. “To imply that I need you, or anyone , to be someone.”
He deflates all together and takes a soothing breath. “I did not mean that, cara .”
“Then what did you mean?!” A rogue tear escapes, running down my cheek.
He glares at me for a solid moment. “I didn’t mean anything by it. It was my anger speaking. The thought of you trying to leave me…” he visibly swallows hard. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
I don’t move or make a noise. If I do, I might shatter.
“Alessia,” he says my name so softly as he cautiously takes a step forward. “I did not mean that. You don’t need me, or anyone, or money, or an eminent surname, or fucking cock to prove yourself.” He brings himself toe to toe with me. “You are ungodly revered, Alessia.”
“Don’t patronize me, Massimo.”
“I would never.” He shakes his head slowly with a straight face. His arms tenderly slip around my waist, and I again have to fight the tears. “I’m so sorry, amore .” His eyes plead with mine and his face drops closely. “Please understand I am just under a lot of stress, and combined with the lack of sleep and—” he stops to take a deep breath and I can feel his utter exhaustion. “Forgive me, amore . Please.”
I nod my head silently, mentally lashing my temper to stay down.
“I love you so much, Alessia.” He presses his soft lips to my forehead, causing my eyes to close in reaction. “I guess you discovered another one of my weaknesses.”
That has me smiling and rearing back to see him. “Yeah? What’s that?”
He scowls at me, but there’s no real threat behind it.
I bite my lip to resist a giggle. “I won’t taunt you with it, I promise.”
I won’t say the words out loud, but I know the weakness he’s referring to. The thought of me leaving…
“Do you want me to grab some food to bring up for you?” I ask him as we leave his office together.
“I’m alright, mia amata. ” The torpidity oozes from his tone.
“Are you sure? You hardly ate anything.”
“Food can wait till tomorrow,” he murmurs. “I want to shower with you.” He nuzzles his face against the top of my head. “And go to bed with you.”
“Sounds like perfection.”
The shower is spent in silence as we robotically wash ourselves and climb out as soon as we’re done. I check his wounds for him after we brush our teeth and head off to bed dragging our feet the entire way.
Peeling the covers back, we slip into bed and both sigh. “Come here, my love,” he says slipping his arm under me and I slide over into his side and use his chest as my pillow. I begin tracing one of his scars absentmindedly. I haven’t done this since before I left, but it’s a habit I never kicked. “You’ll certainly have more scars to caress.”
His depressing tone has me looking up at him with my eyebrows pinched. He stares blankly up at the ceiling with one arm tucked behind his head. “Does that bother you?” He doesn’t answer, and I cannot believe my eyes. Is Massimo…self-conscious? “Massimo.” I climb up to my knees and straddle his waist to get his attention. “You could have scars all over your face, and I would still find you the most sexy and handsome man known to this world,” I say so earnestly that he actually cracks a smile. Grabbing his face, I force him to look at me. “I fucking love you, Massimo. Scars, no scars. Even if you didn’t have a face at all. I love you .”
The tension in his face vanishes, and he reaches up to cup the back of my head, pulling me down to him. “Say it again. Tell me you love me for me.”
“I love you for you, Massimo. Siamo fatti l’uno all’altra .” We were made for each other .
His twilight meets my midnight, yet somehow, we create light.