Chapter 4
Kris
My second day back at work was a long one, but I had dinner plans with Jasha because I’d completely missed his birthday two weeks ago.
In my defense, I’d been slogging through a monster-infested swamp states away at the time, but I still felt guilty.
Jasha had been understanding, as usual, so it’d turned out to be no big deal.
But I wanted to celebrate him and do a check-in.
Besides, tonight and tomorrow were my last free nights before Jo Jo came in, so I was taking advantage of spending time with friends while I could.
Jasha met me at the hole-in-the-wall pasta restaurant we loved, and I swooped in for a huge hug, which thanks to our height difference was basically me hugging his waist. Freaking Viking giant.
He felt a little charged for some reason, like he was going to give me a static shock, but it somehow never materialized. Weird.
“Ah, finally, a drama-free meal.” He sighed as he stepped back, running a hand through his thick blond hair. “Kris. Friendo. Whyyy did you let me online date again?”
Not exactly the greeting I’d been expecting. “I know you had a date last week, but it couldn’t have been that bad…okay, your face is doing the thing where you’re contemplating throwing yourself into a volcano. I’d like to remind you you have over a dozen cats to feed and a store to run.”
His face twisted. “Only things getting me up some mornings.”
“C’mon, I’ll treat you to dinner with dessert. My treat for missing your birthday.”
“You’re my favorite for a reason.”
I hauled him inside. We sat at our usual booth and placed our usual orders before he attempted to tell me the story.
I interrupted him, throwing my hands up. “Wait! Let me give your present first.”
“Oh, you didn’t have to get me anything.”
I rummaged through my purse before pulling out an envelope. “Shut up. Take your present.”
He accepted the envelope with a snort, curiosity evident as he pulled out the printed voucher. Then I watched his blue eyes bug out of his head.
“You did not get me sword fighting lessons.” A huge smile of pure delight appeared.
“For three months. If you have a Viking sword, seems a shame to not know how to wield it.”
“You’re absolutely right, and this is the perfect present. It almost makes up for the bad dates.” He leaned over the table a little awkwardly to hug me. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I felt pleased he liked the gift. He’d talked about taking lessons before, it was just one of those things he’d never gotten around to. “So? How badly did this one go?”
He met my eyes levelly. “I was the side piece.”
“Shut up, no!”
Jasha groaned, slumping forward so I couldn’t even see his face. “I seriously had no idea. I even Googled this girl!”
After his third date in a row where an online meetup was later revealed to be yet another cheater looking for a hookup, he’d resorted to Googling names and doing reverse image searches, just to weed them out.
I struggled to pick my jaw up off the floor long enough to ask, “What, did she have an identical twin?”
He sighed. “Actually, yeah, she did. So, when I went looking for a similar picture of her, I, of course, found who I thought was her married sister and didn’t think anything of it.
Even their names are similar! But turned out she was the married one and was using her sister’s name to hide affairs from her husband. ”
“Ouch. I mean, clever, but that’s kinda a double betrayal. I can’t imagine the sister was okay with any of this.”
“Oh, she wasn’t,” Jasha grumbled at the table.
“It was during my first date with Cheater—I even wore my favorite Henley, the green one—when both her husband and her sister showed up. It was a screaming match right there in the restaurant. I was so embarrassed, I kept looking for a hole to hide in. Eventually, the husband realized I was there in good faith and told me he’d pay for the bill so long as I dropped his wife completely.
I promised him I was no longer interested, told my date using strong words she needed therapy, and walked out. ”
“Good for you!” With his deep voice, chiseled jawline, and massive build, most people assumed Jasha wouldn’t take shit from anyone, which was true if he was protecting someone.
But standing up for himself? This gentle giant just wasn’t the confrontational type and usually didn’t say anything, so I was glad he’d at least voiced his displeasure.
“Although I’m so sorry. I don’t wish that BS on anyone. ”
“Kris,” he whined, finally ending his staring match with the table, “I’m so done with online dating. I can’t even figure out how to safeguard myself. I deleted the account and gave up.”
Jasha unfortunately drew women like bears to honey because he photographed well and met the usual arbitrary criteria. Never married, no kids, successful business owner, runs a cat rescue, and looks like a Norse god. He had no problem finding someone to date, he merely kept attracting the oddballs.
“If I thought you and Charlotte would be even remotely interested, I’d throw you two together, but—”
His nose scrunched up, mouth twisted. “Eww! She’s like my little sister.”
“—I don’t know if she’s ready to dive into dating. She’s still uninstalling our parents’ programming. Therapy’s helping but she still has moments where she trips up.”
Jasha grunted, but our conversation paused as our food arrived. It smelled delicious and we both dug in. Jasha scarfed down a few bites before he responded to my remark.
“I remember you going through the same stages. Even though you’d broken free of their control years prior, you didn’t really know how to navigate the world without someone trying to control your every move and whispering toxic hate in your ear.
You were so conditioned to think of certain things in certain ways.
It wasn’t until I openly challenged those beliefs that you paused and realized constantly trying to appease people wasn’t normal.
It took nearly two years before you stopped looking for validation. ”
I nodded slowly, mulling over his words. “Yeah, two years sounds about right.”
I still had moments where I came across some ingrained prejudice or mental block I had to stare down and then work through.
It wasn’t easy, but I was glad I’d found the strength to walk away from their toxicity.
As hectic as my life got dealing with ghosts, monsters, and sudden bonds, I so much preferred where I was.
“I wish I had what you have,” Jasha muttered to a meatball balanced on his fork, sounding more wistful than anything. “I know the bond gives you trouble, and there’s times you curse it, but you still have an amazing husband who adores you to bits.”
“The bond is very much a Catch-22 situation, but at the end of the day, I’m not really mad because you’re right—I’ve gained an amazing husband.”
His broad shoulders drooped again, and he used his fork to push spaghetti around the plate. “Maybe I need to do a ghost some favor.”
“Please don’t say things like that out loud, you will kick yourself later.”
I could feel my creative juices flowing.
Maybe it was an occupational hazard, to think along matchmaking lines.
Maybe it was me wanting to help my dearest friend out.
Or maybe I’d finally made a connection I should have already thought of.
And even though I’d just sworn off meddling in relationships…
“Uh, so, Jasha…how do you feel about a demon slayer girlfriend?”
He’d gone for another bite and froze, fork halfway to his mouth. “Uh, what?”
“I can’t make the question more straightforward than that. Would it bother you if your girlfriend had a high-stress, dangerous job that meant a lot of traveling?”
He seemed to reboot and lowered his fork. “I mean…wait, this isn’t hypothetical, is it? You’re actually thinking of someone.”
“Several someones,” I corrected. “Half of Zhen’s hunting buddies are women, all single, and singing the same song you are. How they wish they could find someone to date but nothing’s panning out. Better yet, Zhen can vet them all for you. No husbands hiding in the bushes.”
Jasha leaned a little closer, intrigued. “Yeah? Have you met them?”
“Not in person, not yet, but I’ve chatted with them all a few times these last few months. They’re part of the new social media group, so they’ve been giving me content. I also have pictures, if you want a sneak peek.”
“Uh, hell yeah.”
I pulled up the group page on Facebook, as that was the easiest source for lots of pictures, and turned my phone around to show him the screen.
“Okay, so the redhead is Bailey. She’s super funny, has me cracking up half the time. The blonde next to her is Kelly.”
“Whoa, she’s fit.”
My oh my, were those heart eyes? “I understand she’s a bodybuilder.
She’s super cool. I can’t wait to hang out with her in person.
Next to Kelly is River, and River’s like this ultimate marksman with a bow, makes Hawkeye look like a newbie, according to Zhen.
” I turned my screen back toward myself, frowning as I swiped through photos.
“I swear somewhere in here I have another picture of— Ah, there she is!” I turned my phone back toward Jasha. “This is Tiffany. Everyone calls her Tiffy. She’s the demon lore expert for Christian demons. She’s wicked smart.”
“Woah. All four are super hot.”
Jasha didn’t have a physical type, he leaned toward interesting women. Still, I felt pleased he was willing to give dating a slayer a chance, especially since I knew all these women were genuinely good people who wouldn’t screw over my best friend.
“It might be hard to make an initial introduction, because they’re usually hopping all over the world for jobs”—I felt it only prudent to throw the warning out there—“but if the stars align, do you want me to try to introduce you to any of them, see if sparks fly?”
His eyes were in danger of permanently staying heart shaped. “Absolutely! Their job is so cool.”
“If you’re okay with it, I’ll circulate your picture around and see if any of the girls are interested. I can always host someone for a weekend so they can meet you.”
Jasha had visibly relaxed over the course of my show and tell, no longer focused on his disastrous luck, looking forward to dating once more. “Oh, right! I need to find some decent pics for you to show them. What ones of me do you have on your phone?”
“Dude, I have a crap ton of pictures of you on my phone. Someone said if you want to know what a person loves, look at what they take pictures of. I must love you to bits. You’re, like, a third of my gallery.”
He placed a hand over his heart. “Aww, I love you too.”
I handed him my phone unlocked so he could peruse. I wanted to finish my lasagna before it got cold.
Jasha took my phone, happy to scroll, then froze two seconds in, thumb hovering in the air. “Err, maybe you should find pictures for me?”
Huh? “No, it’s fine— Wait, shit. Did Zhen leave me another easter egg?”
His expression turned naughty as he smirked. “Never thought I’d see so much of Zhen.”
“Goddammit.” I hastily took the phone back, flipped it around, and groaned.
Zhen had indeed snuck in a spicy selfie at some point this morning.
I knew it was this morning because I had checked yesterday and deleted that one.
In this image, he was doing one of those ridiculous underwear commercial poses with the phone held above him.
Fortunately, he had on boxers because some of his previous pics wandered into the NSFW territory.
“He’s pranking you, isn’t he?” Jasha started laughing, full belly guffaws echoing in the interior of the small dining space. The couple beside us definitely shot us a dirty look.
“Jasha! Shh! But no, this isn’t the first time.
He thinks he’s hilarious. It’s not just him taking pictures and making it impossible for me to show my photo gallery to people, it’s that sometimes he puts it as my lock screen.
Or my home screen. I don’t necessarily want to show the entire world how hot my husband is.
The man has no shame, I think it wasn’t installed at birth.
” After a moment of quick appreciation—I wasn’t dead, after all—I deleted the picture because I was not saving it. It’d only encourage bad behavior.
Jasha still chortled but much quieter now, blue eyes dancing with mirth. Ironically, the picture he made was a pretty good one. I snapped a candid picture then showed it to him. “This one’s good.”
“Woah, that’s a winner. A natural laugh always plays to the camera better.”
“That it does. I’ll use this one, but what else?”
He searched through my gallery—now that it was safe, hopefully—and picked a few more.
I hoped my sudden plan would pan out. Dating one of the female slayers would mean a long-distance relationship, at least in the beginning, but it didn’t hurt to introduce them to each other, right? How else was I supposed to know if they might hit it off?
So long as Jasha didn’t try to bind my soul to someone as a thank-you, I was happy to play matchmaker for a friend.
In the meantime, I needed to turn some tables in the prank war. Talking to Zhen would do nothing—he was having too much fun pranking me—so clearly I needed to respond in kind.
Now, how did I get my husband’s phone away from him long enough to pull that off?