3. Sage
SAGE
The silence during the drive to my house was deafening.
Klever literally always had something slick to say.
In turn, I had always had something to talk about when I was around him.
His silence reflected his disappointment, even if he refused to verbalize it.
I would rather be chastised than have to suffer through his quiet admonishment.
“I shouldn’t have called you.”
“Why not?” he asked, glancing over at me.
His hands tightened on the steering wheel like he was pissed, but I wasn’t sure that he would ever admit it. We stopped at a red light, and he looked over at me, stretching his eyes as if to rush my response.
“Because this isn’t your problem, K. I’m not your problem.”
His jaw tightened as he proceeded to the route. “Sage, just because I don’t like what you did doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t show up for you. I will always come through for you.”
You always do, I reminded myself, only making me feel more guilty for calling him.
“That doesn’t mean that I’m your problem. It just means I’m a screwup, and you’re a good guy.”
He chuckled in response, but surprisingly, he didn’t follow that up with a response.
“For real, K. I understand that you have your own life and can’t drop everything when I need you. I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you.”
“Did I say that?” He snapped as if he were offended by my statement. “I’ve always had my own life, Princess. That doesn’t mean that I won’t come running every time you call.”
“I can’t do that to you. I have to get my shit under control.”
He scoffed. “There’s nothing wrong with your shit. You just have to make better decisions.”
I knew what that meant. It wasn’t a new rhetoric.
KD hated Jaylen from the start. We didn’t speak for months when I decided to move to Jade Harbor with him.
Since the day he and Supreme became cool, KD had been a constant figure in our family.
He was at our house a few days a week, probably more.
We spent holidays and birthdays together.
He was around so much that most outsiders didn’t even realize that he wasn’t related to us.
Then, suddenly, he stopped showing up to things.
When Christmas rolled around with no KD, I knew there was something to his absence, although he refused to admit it.
KD was Supreme’s friend, but I missed the hell out of him when he wasn’t coming around.
When he wasn’t there, there was no one for me to argue with other than my lame ass brother.
Even now, I felt the difference when he didn’t come around for a while.
I hated that shit, but inside, I knew it was my fault.
“I asked if you needed me, Sage.”
“K, I don’t want to go down that road.”
“But you do need me. I can tell.”
“I’m done being selfish, Klever. I can’t do that to you anymore.”
He smirked in response but didn’t add any words to that devious grin. Five minutes later, we were pulling into the home I wouldn’t live in much longer. Oh God, how was I going to tell JJ we had to move?
“Grab what you need for the weekend.”
“I don’t need the whole weekend. I told you I’ll figure it out,” I expressed.
“Grab what you need for the weekend. Then we’ll go from there. I’m pretty sure you heard me say you weren’t staying here.”
“KD, let me take care of myself for a change.”
“I don’t need you to take care of yourself or figure it out. I need you to go in that house and get what you need for the weekend.”
“We are not doing this,” I countered.
“Sage, the meter is running. It’s four in the morning. I would love to get some sleep, but I’m not staying here.”
“OK, so go back to your hotel or wherever you came from. Thank you for coming. Send me the bill. I’m sorry to be a burden on you once again.”
“Princess, you know how much I hate repeating myself. I only do that for you. Go get your shit and come on.”
“You’re such a . . . ugh!” I groaned in frustration because I knew he wasn’t going to give in.
What part of ‘I’m not your problem’ didn’t he understand?
Apparently, none of it. All I wanted to do was fall in bed and cry myself back to sleep, but no!
Leave it to Klever Davis to make an issue of me staying in my own home.
This was still my home no matter how temporarily.
I wasn’t running away from home just because the man I shared it with was a major bitch.
What was I saying? I knew I didn’t have long before I had to vacate the premises. I just needed some sense of normalcy right now. Sleeping alone was normal for me since Jaylen was always on the road. I just wanted to pretend that everything was OK for a little longer.
“Sage, get out of your head and go in the house.”
“OK, damn.” I huffed, shoving the door open and climbing out.
“Please don’t make me have to come in there and get you, Princess. I’m already having a hard time talking myself down from killing that nigga for playing with you.”
My breathing shuddered with excitement at his words.
Maybe I did need him right now. Feeling that way didn’t make it right.
After the last time, I promised that it was the last time.
No matter how good or how right it felt to be with him, I was not letting him touch me again. But damn, I needed him to.
I couldn’t remember the last time Jaylen and I had sex. It had been over a month, maybe two. He was away for weeks at a time, and when he was home, we were both busy. I had my studio stuff and he had . . . a whole other woman apparently. That was why he had so many meetings and workouts this year.
I was a fool to never question him. I figured if he were cheating, there would be more blatant signs.
I felt so stupid. What the hell was I going to tell my son?
Sighing, I shook my head as I let myself into the house.
Each step I took felt heavier as I trudged up to the door.
Flashbacks of the first time KD asked if I needed him played through my mind louder than the regret sitting at the pit of my stomach.
Ten Years Ago . . .
It had been storming for hours, but I still managed to navigate my way home. For two and a half hours, I drove through thunder, lightning, and torrential rain. School wasn’t out for winter for a few more weeks, but I needed to get the inevitable out of the way.
When I finally pulled up at home, I wasn’t surprised to find that my dad wasn’t home.
Actually, I was relieved that no one was home.
That would give me time to get my thoughts together.
After letting myself in, I dropped my bags on the floor, kicking off my wet shoes and socks before trudging to the living room.
My hands literally shook as I opened the refrigerator.
I didn’t see anything good, but I didn’t have an appetite anyway.
When I closed it back, I almost jumped out of my skin when I found a pair of dark eyes staring back at me.
“Jesus, KD, you scared me.”
It wasn’t alarming that he was at our house when no one else seemed to be there. KD practically lived with us. His parents were never home, so neither was he.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, knitting his brows.
“Nothing. I just didn’t know anyone was here.” I moved to walk past him to my bedroom, but he grabbed my forearm.
“Why are you crying, Sage?” he asked.
“I’m not—”
“What happened?” He interrupted my second attempt at lying.
“Clearly, I don’t want to talk about it. So just drop it.”
“Do you need me to call Bash?”
“Please, don’t. I said it’s nothing.”
“Why are you home in the middle of the night if it’s nothing? Did something happen at school?”
“K, can you please just drop it?”
“I don’t think I can. Just tell me what’s going on.”
“Well, I would literally do anything in the world right now other than talk about my problems.”
“That bad?”
“Yes!”
“Do you need me to help you get your mind off them?”
“How do you suppose we do that?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips as I waited for his brilliant idea.
“I was in the basement playing football. I know you suck, but it might help clear your head.”
Our house had a finished basement that the boys had turned into a game room.
I didn’t go down there much since it was pretty much a boy’s space with a pool table, Pac Man arcade game, and even one of those basketball shooting setups.
The only time I went down there was when I wanted space to dance. There was plenty of floor space.
“You hiding out because you’re scared of a little thunder?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “I see you got jokes.”
Years ago, I’d overheard Supreme saying that KD was scared of thunderstorms. He denied it, but that didn’t mean Supreme let it go. Seeing how the basement was soundproof, there might have been some validity to my brother’s claim.
“Where’s Supreme?” I asked, looking around.
“He went to see his girl. Your dad is probably doing the same. I been down there for a couple of hours. I came up to grab a snack and found you.”
“You didn’t find me. I wasn’t lost.”
“Do you want to clear your mind or not?”
“You know I can’t play that freaking game, and you suck at pool. I know you’re just trying to find a way to get me to talk so you can report back to Supreme.”
He put his hand over his chest. “I’m offended. Do I look like a rat to you?”
“Well, actually,” I said, fully prepared to fire off one of my witty responses.
I opened my mouth to answer, but it had been so long since I actually looked at him that I was almost caught off guard when I gave him a once-over.
When had he gotten so big? The white tank top he wore looked like it was begging for mercy.
Unable to focus on his chest, I let my eyes fall.
Huge mistake. The bulge in his black sweats made me swallow and snatch my eyes away.
“I’m not going to make you talk about something you clearly don’t want to discuss.”
“Well, I’m not sure playing a game is going to distract me right now.”
“It works for me, but you’re right. It might not work for you.”