3. Derek
Derek staggered through the front door of the coffee shop, stepping over the threshold at the exact moment his watch beeped, signaling that he had ten minutes left to finish his steps before the hour ended if he wanted to meet the hourly fitness goals on his watch.
The old version of Derek would have turned around, walked back into the chilly February air, and walked down the sidewalk until the watch buzzed in approval.
New-and-temporarily-single Derek ignored the watch’s nagging vibration and bought two donuts to go along with the coffee. If he could see Mel’s face right now, she’d be disappointed. He’d tell his girlfriend—ex-girlfriend—that she couldn’t pick and choose when she wanted to be with him. If she wanted to be single and free, then she couldn’t prevent him from eating sugary pastries with empty carbs and no nutritional content for breakfast.
He set up his computer on a brightly colored table next to the windows and pulled up the newest set of house listings while he sipped the hot coffee, careful not to spill any on his light-blue button-up shirt and grey dress pants. He was overdressed for a Saturday morning coffee shop run, but the real estate market didn’t sleep in on the weekends.
A woman pulled out a chair at the table behind him, bumping into his chair. Coffee splashed over the lip of his mug and onto his hand, burning his skin.
“Watch what you’re doing,” he hissed as he put the mug down and looked over his shoulder.
The offender stood behind him, blonde waves of hair reaching slightly past her shoulders and in a dress that fit her to perfection. Also overdressed for a coffee shop, but stunningly attractive.
“What are you doing here?” Her voice brought him back to reality, like a bucket of cold water poured over his head.
He needed more coffee before dealing with this woman again. “You called the police on me.”
“So now you’re stalking me?”
“No, I’m not interested in being anywhere near someone who turns down a friendly invitation from a new neighbor, complains to the police, and sticks me with a fine on my first weekend in my new place.”
“This coffee shop. Why are you here?”
“I’m drinking coffee.” He turned back to face his computer, ending the conversation.
Less than two seconds later, the chair behind him bumped into his back again, with less force than moments ago but equally noticeable. He ignored the movement and focused on his computer screen again. The couple he’d meet that afternoon were looking for a semi-detached house with a garage and a small yard for their Yorkie-Poo pup, but their price point was too low. He wouldn’t admit failure, though, until he personally combed through every potential listing in the city.
“Theresa?” A man arrived at the table behind him, greeting his neighbor. The woman now had a name.
She let out a high-pitched chuckle that sounded forced. “George. Nice to meet you.” She stood up, bumping her chair into Derek’s back again.
He looked over his shoulder to see Theresa giving an awkward type of hug to a man who looked like he could be eighty, with a comb-over and thick glasses. At least this guy didn’t have a toupee.
George ran his near-sighted eyes over Theresa in a way that made Derek want to fight. If anyone had looked at his Mel like that . . . He turned back to his computer screen. Mel wasn’t his anymore.
For the next twenty minutes, Derek tried to ignore the conversation behind him. Their discussion was making his ears hurt. The man looked like he could be Theresa’s grandfather. But the way he talked about partying, his former dates, and his newest car made him sound like a hormonal, trust-fund teenage boy who thought he was God’s gift to women. He was a self-centered, chauvinistic, womanizing old man who believed no woman would turn him down.
Another fake laugh from Theresa made up his mind. It didn’t matter if he was rescuing her or himself, but this was ending. Whatever was happening at that table was too painful to overhear and interfering with his work.
Derek motioned to one of the coffee shop workers who was cleaning a table. The young woman, who looked barely old enough to work, ambled over like she was the one who needed a large caffeine dose.
“Can I get a favor?” Derek lowered his voice so Theresa wouldn’t overhear.
“Maybe.”
Derek pulled out his wallet and removed a twenty-dollar bill.
The teen barely reacted, her face bored.
Derek pulled out another twenty. “I need a drink delivered to the table behind me.”
“You can place your order at the counter.”
Another twenty joined the growing pile on the table. “Something cold and big. And when you deliver it, I need you to spill it on that old guy.”
“That could get me fired.”
“Make it look like an accident.”
“That’s going to be pretty hard.”
Derek pulled out another bill. “Shouldn’t be too hard.”
“It’s going to be a pain to clean that all up.”
The last bill came out of Derek’s wallet and he held it open for the teen to see. “Final offer. No tattling on me, either.”
In one smooth move, the teen turned her back to Derek and walked away, swiping a hundred dollars from the table. He hesitated a moment, realizing he just paid a hundred dollars to “save” someone he really didn’t like. But after that geezer started complaining about the new policy at his old man’s cigar club against sexually harassing female employees, he wished he’d ordered a hot coffee to be spilled instead.
Five minutes later, an indignant yell came. “What the heck did you do?”
A snort came from a woman sitting at a nearby table, who had been reading a book about food safety, but now seemed more interested in the scene unfolding around him.
Derek stood up casually and turned. The teenaged girl stood over the table, a satisfied look over her face. “Oops.”
“Don’t just stand there, get me a towel!” He brushed past her towards the bathrooms.
The teen nodded at him and turned to face Derek. She winked. “I brought him three drinks, largest sized. He’s a creep. Would have done that for free.”
“Could have told me that before I gave you all my cash.”
“Oops.”
He sat back at his computer, ignoring the glare that he could feel through the back of his head and see through the reflection on his computer monitor.
“You had something to do with this.” For someone who had just spent five minutes listening to the sexist ramblings of her date, she sounded mad.
“You should be thanking me.”
She pulled out her chair and bumped it hard into his back. Seconds later, she sat in front of him at his table.
“You humiliated me. And him.”
“You were doing a good job humiliating yourselves.” He clicked open a new tab on his internet browser.
“It’s called dating.”
The woman who had been reading the food prep book minutes ago joined them, pulling another chair up to Derek”s table.
She reached out her hand to Derek. “I’m Ashley. Nice move back there.”
“Derek.”
“Did you two plan this? Did you come here to laugh at me?” Theresa’s voice was filled with anger, but with a hint of hurt. Theresa crossed her arms and looked out the window, lips tightly sealed. Ashley raised her eyebrows at Derek, who shrugged back. Then Derek looked at this new girl, Ashley, perplexed. “Fill me in here. Do you two know each other?” he asked.
“We used to work together. At a hospital. Then she got me fired because she was jealous that I started dating a co-worker named Michael.”
Theresa mumbled something under her breath that Derek didn’t catch.
“Michael is a cardiologist at the hospital. After I got fired, I started working at a restaurant. And Theresa got moved to a different unit at the hospital.”
“Is she a cardiologist too?” Derek leaned forward to talk to Ashley, since it was obvious that Theresa wasn’t about to give any answers.
“Nope. She’s a nurse. She started working in the hospice department with my cousin, Emily, who’s a social worker. Emily can make friends with anyone. Even her.”
“So why are you here?”
“Emily moved away to be with her boyfriend, Bill. She called me this morning because she was worried about Theresa.” A twinge of guilt crept over him, but she deserved it after she called the security guard last night. Right after Mel broke up with him. Again. He didn’t owe her an apology or explanation.
Ashley shifted in her chair to face Theresa who continued to stare out the window. “There’s better dating sites for meeting guys than a sugar-daddy service.”
As if on cue, her date walked up to the table, reeking of old-man cologne and coffee. He pointed a finger at Theresa. “Who are these people? What are they doing here? Was this some sort of planned prank or something? You know what, forget it. I’m reporting you to the site.”
She turned around and her mouth dropped open. Acting on reflex, Derek stood up and faced the man. “There’s no need to threaten her.”
“George, I’m sorry, I had nothing to do with any of this. Let’s just start the whole date over, like none of this happened.”
“There’s a level of sophistication expected from the women on that site.” He narrowed his eyes and looked at Theresa critically. “You don’t have it.”
Ashley sucked in a loud breath, but Derek stepped between Theresa and George, standing up tall and looking the old man in the eyes. “Don’t disrespect her. Blame me for the coffee spill if you want, but don’t take it out on her. I suggest you apologize to her or leave.”
The old man looked at him, unaccustomed to people confronting him. Derek met his gaze and refused to blink. Finally, the old man turned and stormed out the front door of the coffee shop.
“Why did you do that?” Theresa’s voice was overly calm and steady, in a similar tone that Mel used when she was about to attack.
“What are you thinking? You couldn”t seriously be interested in a guy like that.” Ashley spoke first, obviously not picking up on the warning tone in Theresa’s voice.
“What”s wrong with George? He could have been my person. You have no idea what we talked about in our private messages.”
“Just like Gene was your soulmate last night?” Derek asked.
“I don’t judge people based on their age.”
“No, you definitely have a specific taste in men.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Derek looked her up and down before answering. She was cute, there was no denying her physical attraction. Short, with nice curves. Blonde hair that looked better in the daylight than at the restaurant last night, and her eyes were a piercing shade of blue. Too bad she wore so much makeup, she had a natural beauty that couldn’t come from a bottle.
“I don’t mean anything by it. Date whoever you want. None of my business.”
“It’s no different from any other online-dating service that helps people connect. Some people bond over religion, or hobbies. What’s wrong if we bond over money and looks?”
“Are you serious? There’s more to a relationship than looks and money, right Derek?”
He ducked his head. “Don’t ask me. Yesterday, I would have said yes. But who am I to say that Theresa is completely wrong for wanting to spend Friday nights playing bingo at senior centers? I hear that some places serve a delicious chocolate pudding.”
“Don’t be so ageist. Just because he’s old doesn’t mean he’s —”
“A creep?” Ashley finished her sentence for her.
“Don’t call him a creep.”
“Why, because he’s rich?”
“Exactly.”
“Now I see why Emily asked me to come keep an eye on you during your blind dates today.”
This was the second time Ashley said dates instead of date. “Dates?” Derek asked. “You’re meeting more than one guy like him today?” If this was what dating was like, he was glad he had Mel. Except he didn’t. Mel wanted her space, at least for now. Was she sitting at a cafe in Cambodia, chatting with a man over coffee?
No, if anything, she’d be drinking some local beverage. Probably some fruit juice. She never grew a taste for coffee.
He couldn’t even call her later. She’d been clear on the phone, and in the texts they’d exchanged overnight. She didn’t want to be with him. But she wanted him to be ready to take her back as soon as her job in Cambodia ended.
And he was supposed to be the good guy who waited quietly for her until she decided that the life they’d planned together was good enough for her. And until she decided that he was good enough for her.
The bite in Theresa’s tone brought him back to the coffee shop. “Don’t judge me for going after what I want. At least I’m honest about what I’m looking for.”
“A man’s bank account?” Ashley’s tone matched Theresa’s.
“There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want out of a relationship and searching for it.”
“It’s selfish when you take advantage of the people you are supposed to love the most,” Derek said. “When you string them along with false intentions.” Like Mel. How was he supposed to wait until she got back, again?
He didn’t realize that he’d said those words out loud until both women stared at him, silent. Shoot. Men weren’t supposed to say things like that, especially not in front of one woman he’d just met, and another woman who sabotaged his party last night.
He sucked down the rest of the lukewarm coffee in his mug and pushed his chair back from the table, grabbing his laptop. “Nice meeting both of you. Theresa, good luck with your dating life. I’ll see you around.”
He needed to get his act together. No one would buy a house from him if he played the role of a bitter ex-boyfriend. And he’d never win Mel back if he let the anger take over.