5. Derek
“Pass the mashed potatoes.”
Derek”s father reached out his expectant hand towards Jake, who passed the large serving bowl to him. Ever since Derek moved out of the family home, his parents expected them home on Sunday for a family dinner. Pot roast, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, side salad, and homemade pie were on the menu for today.
“How”s work going lately?” Mel”s mom, Deborah, posed the question to the entire table. Just like Derek could count on the first Sunday of the month being a traditional dinner, Mel”s family was an equally consistent appearance at the dining room table of his childhood home.
Derek took a large bite of food, letting his brother and parents engage in conversation with Mel”s parents. Jake’s wife, Kayce, was Mel’s sister, so they were part of the family regardless of his relationship status with Mel.
“Sold the house on Oakdale drive last week,” his brother mentioned before helping himself to more green beans.
“The one with the teeny backyard? Whoever bought that must not have kids.” Mel”s mom thought of everything in terms of kids. And grandkids, none of which she had. Yet.
“They have three kids. The park around the block was a selling point for them.” Derek’s brother looked undeterred, with only a muscle twitch in his jaw showing his discomfort. They’d been trying to have kids for a while, and it’d been difficult to watch them struggle to become parents.
“You should jump on buying a house with a yard. You don”t want to wait until the last minute. Kids need places to run around. Babies too.” Mel”s mother pointed her fork at Jake and Kayce, neither of whom looked in her direction. “If you wait too long, you”ll regret it. Speaking of which, any news from Mel, Derek?”
Derek spooned a large portion of potatoes into his mouth and chewed, pointing to his face and shaking his head. Can”t talk, eating, new topic, please.
But Mel”s mom had never been a person to understand a hint. “You really need to get settled down soon. I don’t know what you two are waiting for. You”re already a son to us, and you and Mel have been together for so long. Your babies would be absolutely adorable.”
“More salad, Deborah?” Derek”s mom held up the serving bowl, setting it back down as Deborah shook her head.
Derek swallowed his food and couldn”t ignore Deborah”s stare any longer without being impolite. “Mel”s work overseas is important to her. So it”s important to me, too.”
That wasn’t a lie. Mel should have all the opportunities and freedom to do whatever she wanted, even if that meant temporarily living halfway across the world. But for the past two weeks, ever since they—she—decided to take a break, he couldn’t escape the nagging feeling that this time was different. Would she ever decide she wanted to come back? And was he making a mistake by waiting for her again?
Sunday dinner was not the time to break the news to Mel”s parents, especially her mother. Not to mention that his parents would also be upset over the news. He and Mel hadn”t tied the knot yet, and at this point, might never reach that milestone, but she was as much a part of his family as he was hers. Plus, she specifically asked him not to say anything to her parents. He had to respect that.
“Mel said she”s working with some really bright kids right now. She sounds like she loves the work.”
“She always has been adventurous,” Derek”s dad chimed in.
“Did anyone catch the football game last weekend?” Jake added, abruptly changing the conversation.
Derek looked over at his brother and caught the eye of Kayce, who gave him a small, sad smile. She knew Mel just as well as anyone else at the table, and she probably knew what Derek didn”t want to admit.
Mel might not return.
And even if she did come back, had they grown too far apart? And could he spend the rest of his life with someone who casually cast him aside?
They had a history together. A long history, going back to middle school. As soon as her family moved in next door to his, the families became inseparable. He started dating Mel as soon as they were old enough to date and never dated anyone else.
By the time they reached college, their relationship had been through more tests than many marriages. She’d fought the battle of her life, cancer, with him by her side each day. Some of the scariest days of his life were from that time when he thought he’d lose her. In the quietest, darkest hours of the night, when the incessant noise of all the bedside machines gave them a constant reminder of how fragile life was, they’d talk about their future together. She asked him to promise never to leave her.
He couldn’t break that promise now.
He didn’t break his promise when she returned to college, graduated, and told him over lunch one day that she was going to Vietnam for a year to teach English in a local school. He didn’t want to stand in the way of her dream, but he couldn’t go with her. Instead, they agreed to get engaged when she returned after one year. One year in Vietnam turned into two years, and she convinced him that they should separate temporarily.
He didn’t want to agree to her plan but did. He hated saying no to Mel.
When she returned, their relationship picked up where it had stopped. She swore she hadn’t dated anyone while they were apart, and he hadn’t either.
Their reunion lasted for a year, during which they talked about the future they wanted together: two kids, maybe three, a golden labradoodle, and a house within walking distance of both their parents’ homes. Travel each summer to somewhere exciting and exotic. He’d take over the family real estate business with his brother. She’d take as much time as she wanted to settle on a career of her own.
He bought the perfect engagement ring three hours before she told him that she took another job teaching English in Columbia. She wanted to wait until she returned in a year before getting engaged.
Mel wanted to explore the world—without him.
They got together again when she returned, but it never felt the same. She had changed, and he’d changed. But their lives were so intertwined, they were so much a part of each other’s history, that it didn’t make sense to end their relationship. So they stayed together.
Her decision to travel and teach again, this time in Cambodia, didn’t surprise him. Their temporary breakup did. It shouldn’t have. They’d been down this road before.
Maybe he should be the one to end their relationship completely. Mel’s promise of returning to him felt different from before. But ending things with Mel was complicated. Their families were close. His brother married her sister. They’d always see each other at family gatherings. A clean breakup would be impossible.
Besides, he couldn’t break his promise to her years ago when she was sick with cancer. He couldn’t be the one to leave her.
The football conversation carried the families through the rest of dinner and multiple helpings of chocolate cream pie, only ending as Derek said his goodbyes.
Derek was halfway down the walkway stretching from his parents” 1950s single-story home to the driveway, carrying half a pie and enough leftovers to last him two days, when Mel”s mother called out from behind him.
He turned, careful not to drop any of his leftovers, to see her standing at the edge of the porch. He waited until she caught up to him, arms wrapped around her middle, holding her jacket close to her body to protect against the chill.
“I spoke with Mel a few days ago.” She let the sentence hang as if scolding Derek.
“That”s good. She sounded happy last time I talked with her.” Or at least, she sounded happy that he hadn”t put up an argument when she wanted to take a break.
“What are you going to do about that?”
“Do about what?”
“When are the two of you getting married? When are you both going to settle down and start your own family? She can teach kids here instead of overseas, but you have to get her to come back.”
“She”s doing important work. And she loves it.”
“How do you expect to get married if she”s never in the same country as you?”
“It”s only for a few more months, Deborah. Then she”ll be back. I can”t make her come back early.”
“You”re going to lose her if you don”t do something.”
Derek studied the woman in front of him. She had the same hair color as Mel, only speckled with streaks of grey, but the resemblance was unmistakable. They also shared the same stubborn streak.
“Have faith, Deborah. Mel”s a good person. She”ll be back when she”s ready.”
If only he believed that.
By the timehe reached his apartment, he”d replayed the last conversation with Mel in his head three times. And had also replayed the conversations he and Mel had each other time they”d taken a break, or she”d decided to move overseas for a teaching job without consulting him.
It”s not like she ever needed his permission or blessing to take a job teaching in a foreign country.
But they had been in a relationship for years. Didn”t that count for something? Shouldn”t she have at least asked his opinion before making these huge changes without him? And when would she decide that she wanted to return home for good?
Deborah had gotten in his head.
He walked down the hallway to his apartment, trying not to think about it, when the door at the end of his hallway opened, and Theresa stepped out.
She walked past him, a forced smile on her face. She”d barely said two words to him since he drove her home from the soup kitchen, even though they ended up running into each other in the hallway a few times. She was determined to push him away.
“Having a good weekend?” He tried to sound friendly, even though she obviously didn”t care about being friends. In the short time since leaving his parents’ house, loneliness had seeped in. With a building full of neighbors, there would hopefully, eventually, be a few people he could consider friends. For now, he’d settle for brief small talk to delay entering his apartment, alone with nothing to distract him from his thoughts.
Theresa nodded her head slightly but avoided eye contact.
“They said it might snow later this week.”
“I know.” Her words came out quietly, like talking to him was painful.
“This building have a good heating system?”
She walked past him, nodding her head again.
“Ok, well, good seeing you, nice chatting, glad we got caught up.” He mumbled quietly as he shuffled the dishes in his hands to unlock his door. Rejection was probably something he should get used to.
He twisted his key in the lock when he realized that Theresa had stopped walking and stood close. “Everything ok?” Her face looked pale, like she was about to be sick or something.
“Are you driving tonight?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“The rideshare company. Are you on shift tonight? I was thinking about going somewhere, but my car is still in the shop. I could take the bus, but . . .”
“Where do you need to go?” Picking up a few extra shifts tonight wouldn’t be a bad idea. Not for the money. His real estate job covered all his bills and more. No, the real benefit of driving others was more valuable than cash. Focusing on getting people to their destinations stopped him from thinking too much about what to do about Mel.
“Never mind. Forget I asked. I”ll be fine.” She turned and started to walk down the hall.
“Wait.” He shoved his door open and adjusted his grip on the food containers in his hands. “Let me stick this in the fridge and we can take off.”
“Forget it. I’ll take the bus.”
This woman was more guarded than anyone he’d met. He took in her appearance; her body was swallowed up by an oversized, black winter coat, hat, gloves, and boots. The last time he took her somewhere, she went into one of the worst sections of the city. She couldn’t be planning on taking the bus back there. Someone her size would have a visible target on their back in that type of neighborhood after dark.
“Where are you going?”
“Not your business.”
“Downtown again?”
She shrugged and turned, clearly not wanting to admit that was her destination.
“Are you serious?” The words slipped out of his mouth before he meant to say it, his blood pressure rising. Maybe because he was spent from the conversations with Mel”s family, pretending that Mel wasn”t drifting further and further away from him, acting like she could toss him to the side whenever she wanted and expect him to be ready whenever she decided she was ready to ‘settle down.”
Suddenly, it felt like a dam burst inside him. “It’s dangerous there! Do you care about your safety? Or are you just going to go wherever you want, do whatever you want, and not care about who you hurt? People are going to worry about you! How will we know you’re safe and don’t need help? Why do you have to do this alone and expect me to stand by and watch?”
The words flowed uncontrollably. They were the words he wanted to say to Mel, to make her understand the pain she put him through each time she decided to leave him without even asking for his opinion or each time she claimed she wanted space while he was left alone, worrying about what she was doing and whether she was alright, alone in a foreign country.
“What I do in my own time is none of your business.” She snapped at him hard enough to make him wince.
“Fine.”
“I”m not stupid. I”m not some weak, vulnerable woman who can”t fend for herself.”
“Asking for help isn’t weakness.”
“I asked you about a ride. I didn”t give you permission to control my life.”
“I don”t want to control you!” His voice rose in volume. “I don”t want to control anyone. Not you, not Mel. It”s not about control.”
“Who”s Mel?” Theresa raised her chin, a stubborn look on her face.
“Forget I said anything.” He took a deep breath, forcing himself not to keep taking his frustration with Mel out on Theresa.
“Is she your girlfriend? The one you mentioned when we first met?”
“It”s complicated.”
“Let me guess, you two are having trouble because you are controlling.”
He let her words float between them, the silence growing. He was not controlling. He never tried to control Mel. He would never do that to anyone.
“Fine. I agree not to ask you about Mel. You agree not to talk me out of going where I need to go.”
“Fine.” He glared at her for a moment. “Do you still need a ride?”
“I”ll take the bus.”
“Fine.” She wasn”t Mel. She wasn”t anyone he really knew. She was just the neighbor who called the cops when he had a housewarming party, dated guys who were at risk for breaking a hip, and volunteered at the soup kitchen on weekends while looking for someone. He couldn”t demand that she avoid taking a bus into rough neighborhoods, but he couldn”t do nothing. He pulled out his phone. “What”s your number? I”ll give you mine, and you can call me if the bus doesn’t show up.”
She slowly pulled out her phone and gave him her number. A few seconds later, her phone dinged from his text. “See you around.”
She turned and walked away, down the hallway and to whatever danger lay ahead.
He went into his apartment and slammed the door behind him.