CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE #3
That doesn’t make any sense. Why would he want to do that when we’ve already stopped seeing one another?
So there’s nothing wrong with hoping this evening is going to turn out well.
Cristy was ready to believe that right up until the moment she pulled into the leafy courtyard outside her building to find Matthew’s car in her parking space.
What the hell was he doing here? She was expecting Aiden to be inside the flat; he’d agreed to come and let David in, so she could only presume that some other pressing engagement had arisen for her son and he’d asked his father to step in for him.
She was going to brain the boy, she really was, but before that she had to work out how the heck she was going to get rid of Matthew. What if he decided to stay and screw things up for her while making an ass of himself?
As her neighbour was in Manchester tonight, she backed into his space, somehow resisting the urge to kick Matthew’s car as she passed.
God only knew what was going on inside the flat by now, she just hoped David didn’t think she’d set this up, or worse that she was making some sort of childish point along the lines of: if you’re still involved with Juliette, don’t forget Matthew is very keen to get back with me …
For God’s sake, Cristy. Pull yourself together.
‘Hey, Mum!’ Aiden shouted, as she closed the front door. ‘We’re in here.’
Wondering where the hell else they’d be other than the sitting room, while relieved to know that her son hadn’t completely let her down, she shrugged off her coat and scarf and kicked off her shoes.
Were those David’s loafers sitting comfortably between Matthew’s Timberlands and Aiden’s Nikes?
Christ, this was starting to feel like some bizarre kind of alt-world where all the footwear got along while the owners – didn’t.
‘There you are,’ Aiden said, coming out of the sitting room to greet her. ‘Wasn’t my idea,’ he muttered under his breath. ‘Tried to stop him, but you know what he’s like …’
‘Don’t keep us waiting,’ Matthew called out. ‘There’s a lovely white Rioja here, and we’re keen to open it.’
Wondering if there was such a thing as ex-mariticide – or was that just plain murder?
– Cristy braced herself and followed Aiden into the sitting room.
There she found Matthew ensconced on one sofa, as if he actually lived here, while David was in one of the armchairs, appearing perfectly relaxed and highly amused by the unexpected welcome he’d received.
‘Hello, darling,’ Matthew gushed, not bothering to get up.
(Just as well or she might have knocked him down again.) ‘David and I have been having a lovely chat about deep sea fishing and how it’s a bit of a hobby of mine.
I get the impression he’s way more experienced than I am, but too modest to admit it …
Here, come and sit down,’ he said, patting the sofa cushion next to his own.
Suspecting he’d manoeuvred things to make sure she couldn’t sit with David, Cristy pulled out a dining chair and plonked herself on it.
She was aware she hadn’t actually spoken to David yet, but she couldn’t think what to say with Matthew earwigging from three feet away. ‘Good flight?’ she managed in the end.
‘Easy,’ he assured her. ‘Everything on time, and Aiden was waiting outside when I got here.’
‘Dad drove me,’ Aiden confessed. ‘He was supposed to drop me off, but … here he is.’
Matthew laughed. ‘Here I am,’ he agreed, cheerily, ‘in the bosom of my family, and I must say, it’s a great pleasure to meet you, David. Sorry, repeating myself, but I’ve heard so much about you from Hayley and Aiden and what a wonderful time you gave them at Christmas …’
‘While you were in LA getting arrested,’ Aiden reminded him.
Matthew grimaced good-naturedly. ‘That happened after Christmas,’ he said, ‘but I admit it was an unfortunate incident for which I was entirely to blame. I haven’t been quite myself since Cristy and I …’
‘Are you going to pour the wine?’ Cristy cut in, noticing that Aiden was starting to see the funny side of this.
‘Of course, of course,’ Matthew declared, sitting forward.
‘And then you can go,’ Cristy told him.
He gave a hearty laugh as if she’d just cracked the most hilarious joke. ‘Don’t worry, no offence taken,’ he assured her, as if she’d apologized for it.
Deciding he’d lost his mind, she said to David, ‘I’ve made dinner reservations …’
‘Oh, that’s a shame,’ Matthew interrupted. ‘I’ve managed to secure us a table at Casa and you know how hard it is to get in there. My treat. I’d be at a loose end otherwise.’
‘What a shame,’ Cristy retorted, sarcastically.
‘I think we should accept Matthew’s invitation,’ David told her, and she felt she might like to kick him too, given the unmistakable laughter in his eyes.
‘Yeah, I think you should,’ Aiden agreed, clearly lapping it up.
She glared at the glass Matthew was passing her, and clocked the moment he realized it might be safer if he just put it down.
‘I think I’ve heard about the restaurant you’ve chosen,’ David said, as he and Matthew settled back into a friendly chat. ‘Doesn’t it have an award-winning chef?’
‘Peter Sanchez-Iglesias,’ Matthew confirmed, delightedly. ‘I know him quite well. It’s how we got the table. Aiden, you’re going to join us I hope.’
‘Actually, I’ve got to be somewhere,’ Aiden grimaced.
‘No you haven’t,’ Cristy informed him.
‘I have …’
‘You have not,’ she insisted.
Getting the message, Aiden choked back a laugh and said, ‘OK, I’ll clear the decks. Just making a few calls,’ and he disappeared into his bedroom.
Deciding to do the same, after all she needed to change, Cristy made her excuses and took her wine and phone with her.
As soon as she’d closed the door, she texted David, Sorry. I know he’s excruciating, but he wasn’t always like this.
A moment later a message came back, I kind of like him.
I don’t believe you.
He’s taking me out to dinner, what’s not to like?
*
In the end it was gone eleven by the time Matthew was persuaded that no one else wanted a nightcap; it was time for him to go home and take Aiden with him. Of course, he’d had too much to drink to drive, so he’d have to come back in the morning to pick up his car.
‘I’ll bring breakfast,’ he promised, as he got into an Uber.
‘Croissants are good for me,’ David told him. ‘Let us know when you’re on your way, I’ll put the coffee on.’
‘You might be even worse than he is,’ Cristy told him, as they went inside.
‘At least I didn’t bring Juliette,’ he retorted.
Laughing in spite of herself, she led the way through to the sitting room and feeling suddenly absurdly teenagerish – thrilled that David was here, excited by the prospect of him staying, anxious about the talk they needed to have – she said, ‘I actually wouldn’t mind a nightcap, if you’re up for one too? ’
‘Count me in,’ and he began collecting up the glasses they hadn’t bothered to carry into the kitchen earlier.
A few minutes later, as they sat down with their brandies, he said, ‘I know we’re both tired, and we’ve had a few drinks, but I still want to get this off my chest tonight.
And I hope that by the time I’m done this gulf,’ he gestured to the space on the sofa between them, ‘might have closed a little.’
Very much hoping the same, she said, ‘I need you to understand that I …’
His hand went up. ‘I think I can guess what you’re going to say so please let me speak first.’
Her eyes stayed on his, her anticipation building as she thought, God he’s gorgeous. Then, Just don’t let yourself be swayed by it, or drawn into anything until you know what he’s going to say.
‘First of all,’ he said, ‘I am not involved with Juliette in the way you seem to think. In the way I confess I probably allowed you to think … It wasn’t a conscious decision to hurt you, far from it, but when I realized what was happening I was angry that you didn’t trust me.’
She started to speak, but his hand went up again.
‘Obviously, she and I are close,’ he continued, ‘and I won’t apologize for that. She’s my son’s mother and it means a lot to Laurent that his parents don’t only get along, but that we feel at least a little bit like a family to him.’
She held her silence, as he took a sip of his drink.
‘The last time Juliette and I were intimate,’ he continued, ‘was back in August, in Paris … It’s not the only time it’s happened since we split up, but I can promise you that it doesn’t happen often, and it certainly hasn’t since you and I got together.’
Knowing she was far too eager to believe that, Cristy countered it with a reminder of Juliette emerging from the gazebo on New Year’s Eve, and how closely they’d danced together after.
‘I think she still has very strong feelings for you,’ she said, ‘and whether you return them or not, you disappeared with her on New Year’s Day, and no one saw you for the next couple of hours. ’
He frowned, as though trying to recall it, until his expression cleared and he said, ‘Laurent was sick. Actually he was hungover, but that’s another story … He wanted us both to sit with him, to feel sorry for him, I guess, so we did.’
‘But I saw you take wine with you …’
‘I came back for it because Juliette thought the smell might help Laurent to throw up. It worked, and after we’d cleaned him up all three of us fell asleep on the bed. That’s why I was gone for so long.’
Although it was believable, and David certainly seemed sincere, she had to point out how cold he’d been with her after, right up until she’d left.
‘Because that’s how you were being with me,’ he told her.
‘I knew you were worried about Matthew and I could see you wanted to get away … I didn’t blame you, I understood, but at the same time I was angry, jealous, I guess …
And you were behaving as though I was holding you back, or standing in the way …
Obviously, I should have done the grown-up thing and tried to get you to talk, but in my stubbornness, arrogance if you like, I decided that if you couldn’t come out and say what was on your mind then I wasn’t going to ask. ’
Having to accept that she probably had gone into some sort of passive-aggressive routine, Cristy started to speak, but he said, ‘There’s more.
It’s my guess, well, it was my mother’s actually and I saw right away that she was probably right …
She thinks that because of your experience with Matthew, what you went through after the break-up, it’s made it difficult for you to trust someone again.
She also said that if I want you in my life, I need to be mindful of your past and make sure I don’t give you cause to doubt me or my feelings.
And that was exactly what I’d done over New Year, whether I realized it or not. ’
Having to swallow a lump in her throat, Cristy said, ‘I’ve always loved your mother, since the day we first met.’
He smiled. ‘You probably know the feeling’s mutual.’ Then after a pause, ‘So this is me apologizing for not being sensitive to your feelings, and for not coming here sooner to try to make things right between us.’
The gulf was definitely closing, almost faster than she could keep up with.
‘I realize I didn’t make it easy for you,’ she said, ‘I know I can be very defensive. I’m so afraid, probably too afraid, of being hurt like that again …
It’s almost like I keep expecting it, and because we still don’t know one another that well, I guess it’s inevitable that we – that I – will get some things wrong.
I just wish I’d faced down my demons …’ She stopped as he got up from the sofa and held out a hand.
She allowed him to pull her up into his arms, and said dryly, ‘I guess that’s the gulf dealt with then.’
He laughed and brought the length of her body against his. ‘I was just thinking,’ he murmured against her lips, ‘maybe that’s enough talking for tonight?’
Mmm, she thought as their embrace deepened, he was right, it probably was.