CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE #4
‘I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just want this to stop, now, and you to accept that there is no going back for us.’
Looking crestfallen, he sipped his drink and turned to stare out at the garden.
She watched him, wondering what he was really thinking and trying not to care about how lost he suddenly seemed. In the end she broke the silence, just as he knew she would.
‘What’s happening with Marley?’ she asked, hoping a slight change of subject might help calm things down a little. ‘You mentioned at some point that you had plans to go over there.’
He nodded. ‘I also invited you and David to come with me,’ he reminded her. ‘Generous of me, don’t you think?’
Incredulous, she said, ‘Why would you even want that?’
He shrugged. ‘I guess being with you, even if he’s there, is better than being without you.’
Not wanting even to try processing that, she closed her eyes and forced all the strange images it conjured out of her mind.
‘She’s going to Santa Fe,’ he said after a while. ‘Apparently she’s been cast in a movie that’s shooting there and she wants me to have Bear while she’s away.’
Cristy’s eyes narrowed as she saw where this might be going. ‘How long’s she planning to be gone?’ she asked cautiously.
‘A few months, I think.’
‘So she wants you to bring him here?’
‘I guess so. We haven’t discussed it yet, but it can’t happen any other way.’
Sounding snappier than she’d intended, she said, ‘I thought she had a fantastic nanny.’
‘She does, but it’s not the same as a parent, she says, and she thinks it’ll be a great opportunity for some bonding between Papa Bear and Boo Boo.’
Cristy stared at him, caught now on the names, and aware she shouldn’t laugh, but it was already happening. Papa and Boo Boo? Really?
‘It’s OK, go right ahead,’ he told her. ‘We have to try to see the funny side of all this or we might just go mad.’
Knowing she would – go mad – if there was a chance of two babies to contend with in the not too distant future, a grandson and whatever Bear was to her …
Actually he was nothing, no relation at all, so why was she even considering it?
Probably because, knowing Matthew as she did, once the child was here at his home in England, he’d find a way to trap her into parenting with him whether she wanted to or not.
God spare me, she thought, taking another gulp of wine, but she was too tired now to argue any further, and was actually missing David too much to want to speak to anyone else. If only Matthew would go home and take Aiden with him.
David rang a few minutes later.
‘I’m going to take this in the bedroom,’ she told Matthew.
‘Is it him?’
‘Mind your own business, and if you want to be a really good dad you might go in there and try talking some sense into your son.’
‘He’s doing everything right, isn’t he?’
‘Only you would think that,’ and leaving him to puzzle it out she swept off to the privacy of her room and lay down on the bed.
‘Are you OK?’ David asked when she answered. ‘You sound tired.’
‘Just a bit. There’s quite a lot happening here that’s … Well, let’s say I wasn’t prepared for it and I’m not sure how well I’m handling it.’
‘Do you want to talk about it?’
Realizing she did, she gave him a shortened version – not that there was a longer one yet – and as she waited for him to respond she found herself hoping he wasn’t laughing … Please, please, don’t you find this funny too.
If he did, he was clever enough not to let her know. ‘How’s Matthew dealing with it?’ he asked carefully.
Sighing, she said, ‘I think he’s angry, but he’s also treating it as a bit of a joke. Well, not a joke, but it’s like he doesn’t seem to realize what this could do to our lives, never mind Aiden’s.’
‘Well, maybe the time to start worrying is when you know for certain if Aiden’s the father. Meantime, is it possible you’re also trying to get over the shock of him actually having sex?’
She laughed. ‘I think I’ve known that for a while, but I assumed he was taking the proper precautions – actually that Matthew was making sure of it.
I should have known better and talked to him myself.
As for the girl, whoever she is … Pearl Something-or-other …
’ She stopped, realizing she really didn’t want to talk about it any more, that actually what she wanted was to forget about everything for a while and think only about David.
‘Why don’t you tell me what’s going on in your world?
’ she suggested, feeling some of her tension unravelling simply by asking the question.
With an ironic sort of tenderness he said, ‘You mean apart from how much I’m missing you?’
Smiling she said, ‘Well, you could start with that.’
‘OK, here goes …’
‘No!’ she cried laughing. ‘I didn’t mean it … Well, I did, but if it’s as much as I’m missing you then I kind of already know.’
‘Good, I’m glad we’re both having a difficult time being apart again – a subject we’ll need to revisit, I feel. But for now, why don’t I update you on what else is happening here?’
‘I’m listening.’
‘Well, apparently Gabe, Lukas and Evie are planning to stay for at least another week, and Sadie’s going to have another go at trying to talk to Mia tomorrow.
She’s sent her several messages saying she believes Lottie was behind everything in the hope it’ll make Mia more willing to see her, but so far she hasn’t heard back. ’
‘Do we know if anyone’s actually been inside the house since Connor and I were there?’
‘I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. Sadie’s seen her though, looking much as you described with her hair like a nest and some sort of ghastly make-up. God knows what she’s up to, I suspect she doesn’t even know herself.’
Wondering how true that was, Cristy said, ‘We’re meeting with the lawyers in the morning to discuss what we can put into the next episode.
Obviously we have the big reunion and the clifftop farewell, but we’re hoping to include at least some excerpts of Janina’s contact with the sisters without running into a lawsuit. ’
Sighing, David said, ‘I guess it says quite a lot about Sadie that she still feels protective enough towards her aunt, even now, not to fight the injunction.’
‘She is remarkable, but some people are just made more forgiving than others. As Evie has put it several times, nothing any of them do will bring Janina back and seeking revenge on an old lady is no way for any of them to go forward.’
‘I suppose you have to agree with that. It’s about the future now, not the past.’
‘Which doesn’t help those of us making a podcast very much.’
‘You really do sound tired. It’s making me wish you were here – or I was there – so we could … end the day together?’
Sinking into how wonderful that sounded, she said, ‘I need to tell you how glad I am to be the sweets in your pocket and wind in your sails.’
With a laugh, he said, ‘You’ve been talking to Rosie.’
‘Guilty,’ she smiled. ‘It’s a lovely phrase. She’s a lovely girl, and I’m so glad for your sake that at least she isn’t pregnant. It’s just a pity Aiden didn’t learn the facts of life from Ludo.’
Laughing, a lot, he said, ‘I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have found that quite so funny, but it was good.’
Still smiling, she rolled over on the bed and closed her eyes. ‘If you knew what I was thinking now,’ she said, ‘you might blush.’
His voice was quieter, softer, as he said, ‘Why don’t we give it a try?’
Aware of the words gathering and warming her in all the right places, she said, ‘If we do I’ll make myself blush.’
‘Would that be so bad?’
‘No, I don’t suppose so, but with Matthew and Aiden still here … Maybe I can call you back when they’ve gone?’
‘Sure. Meantime I might send you a link to Amanjena to see if it really is somewhere you’d like to go.’
‘I know it will be, but I’d love to see it so I can start to imagine us there.’ She frowned as someone knocked on the door.
‘Mum? We’re sending out for pizza. Shall we get one for you?’
‘Sorry,’ she said to David, ‘I have to go, but please send that link. And if I don’t manage to call back tonight, let’s speak tomorrow.’
Ringing off, she went to open the door and for no reason she could name, seeing Aiden standing there looking sheepish, and tousled and all grown-up, but not, made her want to hold him closer than she had for a very long time.
‘Cool,’ he murmured as her arms went round him. ‘Clearly got to offer you a pizza more often.’
Smiling, she said, ‘Why don’t you guys pick one up on your way home? It’s been a long day and I’ve still got things to do before I go to bed.’
‘Actually, I was thinking of staying here, if that’s OK?’
‘Really? But you have school in the morning?’
‘Yeah, but I can Uber it if Dad lets me use his account.’ He met her eyes tentatively, a little playfully. ‘I missed you while you were gone and I don’t want to leave while we’re still kind of … like this.’
Loving him for that, she said, ‘Staying here for the night isn’t going to sort things out, you must know that. But of course, if you want to – this is your home as well as mine.’
‘Good to know. And my pizza’s yours if you only want your usual slice.’
It wasn’t until much later, after they’d eaten and somehow avoided the subject of his disgrace, and teased Matthew about being Papa Bear to Boo Boo, that Cristy was finally back in her room and ready to slip into bed.
She lay quietly for a few minutes, already starting to drift into sleep, while wanting to call David back.
Maybe she was too tired, but she could at least text, or leave a suggestive voice message with instructions for him to delete as soon as he’d heard it.
Reaching for her phone, she turned onto her side and found an email alert from him, presumably containing the link to a holiday in Marrakech.
Wanting to see it, to fall asleep dreaming about it, she started to click through but suddenly came jarringly awake, as she noticed another text had arrived from the anonymous sender.
In spite of knowing she shouldn’t open it, especially not at this time of night, she went ahead and felt a burn of unease as she read the few short words, Aaah, Cristy, back in Bristol, safe and sound.
How did he know that? Was he physically stalking her, watching her every move? Could he even be outside right now?
Knowing it was much more likely that he was tracking her mobile, she quickly turned off the Find My iPhone app – except if he was using some other sort of spyware that wasn’t going to do it.
Deciding to let Jacks take a look in the morning, she was about to move the latest message to the folder when she realized there was an image attached.
She opened it and revulsion surged through her.
Not quite a dick-pic, but the closest thing to it: a man’s hand on his crotch suggesting he was about to lower the zip of his jeans.