CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO #2
As she watched him she could feel the scrutiny of those on neighbouring tables who’d probably recognized him, possibly her as well, but she deliberately avoided eye contact.
Instead, she found herself seeing him as the man she’d always loved, the father of her children, the husband she’d always trusted and respected and had fully believed she’d spend the rest of her life with, until he’d become the bastard who’d cheated on her and broken her heart.
It might all be in the past now, but she couldn’t deny that it still had the power to hurt her.
Just as his angst could move her, the way it was now, proving, as if she didn’t already know, that there was still a connection between them, and probably always would be.
Clearing his throat, and making an attempt to sound cheerful, he said, ‘I’ve already spoken with a nannying agency, so someone should be in place by the time I get back with Bear.’
Feeling for how worried he was about trying to cope on his own, she said, ‘That’s good.
You’re going to need someone to help out while you’re at work.
’ She could say more, so very much more, but she was afraid she might end up offering herself as a back-up.
‘How much time are you taking off?’ she asked.
‘Two weeks is all I could manage, having been in LA over Christmas. Hayley’s said she’ll try to come down for a few days mid-March, and Aiden’s obviously going to be around.
Not that I’ll be expecting him to babysit with his exams coming up, and I didn’t get into it being good practice for him.
He keeps telling me we’ll cope, which kind of suggests he’s not planning to decamp on me and come to you full time. ’
Moved by the children’s efforts to support their father, and feeling guilty for not doing the same, Cristy found herself saying, ‘I’m sure I’ll come to visit too.’
He looked at her in surprise and with so much hope that she immediately wished she could take the words back. ‘Will you?’ he said. ‘You’re welcome, any time, you know that.’
‘I just hope there aren’t going to be two babies by May,’ she said, ‘or whenever Pearl’s is due …’
‘I’m sure that one will live with her and her parents,’ Matthew put in quickly.
Suspecting he was right, she said, ‘Shame they’re standing by their daughter’s decision to put off a DNA test until after the birth. You’d think they’d want to know themselves who the father is.’
‘I’m starting to get the impression that young Pearl calls most of the shots in that family.’
Thinking of what an awful girl she sounded, and how bloody unfortunate it was going to be if she, thanks to a few quick shags with Aiden, ended up being permanently in their lives, Cristy said, ‘Let’s talk about it some more when you’re back.
Maybe by then the other boys will have told their parents so we can join forces to put the pressure on …
’ She broke off and groaned aloud. Stop with the intimidation.
Matthew put a hand over hers as he said, ‘Whatever happens we’ll work it out,’ and she was reminded of how much comfort she used to take from this very gesture, and those very words, for he always had seemed to find the answers one way or another.
He was a different man now though, thanks to his own schizoid aberrations, so much as she might want to lean on him, or at least trust him, she knew she couldn’t.
Instead of taking her hand away, she turned it in his and linked their fingers.
‘You know you’ll always mean the world to me, don’t you?
’ she said, meaning it. ‘Apart from all the times I want to brain you, of course, but I need you to understand that even if I weren’t with David now, there really is no going back for us. ’
He swallowed as he nodded, and his voice was unsteady as he said, ‘He’s a lucky bloke, I just hope he knows it.
’ He removed his hand and picked up his coffee.
‘So, I won’t ask you to come with me tomorrow,’ he said, as if only coming to the decision now, ‘but if you and David would like to join me out there before I come back … OK, de-lulu, as Aiden calls it.’
Breaking into a laugh, she said, ‘Do you honestly think David would even want to?’
He shrugged. ‘I thought we got along pretty well when we met.’
‘Which is good, I’m glad you did, but it doesn’t mean he wants to be your best buddy, or go on holiday with you.’
‘His loss.’ He thought about that. ‘Actually it’s mine, but hey, as long as you and I stay friends and you understand that I’m ready to take you back any—’
‘You’re married,’ she interrupted, ‘and now would be a good time to remember that. I take it Marley will still be in LA when you get there? She hasn’t gone to Santa Fe yet?’
‘Not as far as I know. Well, someone has to be taking care of Bear, and last time we spoke it was her.’ He sighed heavily. ‘And soon it’s going to be me. Do you think I might be able to rename him before I give him back?’
‘You can always try,’ she smiled, checking the time. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to go, we’ll be uploading soon and then, I guess, it won’t be long before we find out what the public at large thinks of the series finale.’
‘Any surprises in store?’ he asked, dropping a twenty on the table as they stood up.
‘One or two.’
As they left together Cristy was aware that they were still being watched, and once outside, probably because she knew it would mean something to him, she kissed him on both cheeks.
‘Have a good flight,’ she said, ‘and message to let me know when to expect you back.’
‘I will,’ he promised.
As she started towards the office she could feel his loneliness and regrets as if they were stretching out between them, even trying to pull her back.
She kept going, only turning at the last to give him a wave, but to her surprise he’d gone – and for one peculiarly disorientating moment it was as though he’d left her all over again.
*
An hour later everyone was gathered in the office, drinks in hands, feet up on desks or chairs as they listened to the closing minutes of the pod.
Sadie was thanking the Hindsight team for the ‘incredible chance’ they’d given her to share her journey, ‘with your hundreds of thousands of listeners around the world … Sometimes terrible things happen and it’s only with the benefit of hindsight that we can see how they might have been done differently. ’
‘Neat how she slipped the series title in there,’ Harry commented dryly.
Cristy nodded and continued listening to her own voice as she began winding things up.
CRISTY: ‘So there we have Sadie’s final words on the search for her roots, the surprises and joy it brought her along the way, the confusion, frustration and sadness – and last of all the way it resulted in the untimely and tragic death of her aunt.
I wonder if you’re finding yourselves as moved by her retelling of what happened at the villa that fateful night as we were when we first heard it.
It must have been terrible for her, having no one there to support or guide her, or to help persuade Mia not to jump.
I’m sure the trauma of it will stay with her for a very long time. ’
CONNOR: ‘I have no doubt of it. We don’t know whether or not Sadie and Mia talked about Janina that night, but it’s hard to imagine they didn’t, considering what Sadie found in Lottie’s journals.
As the key points remain unavailable to us we still can’t share any details, but what we know already is that Lottie met Janina and Gabe while they were in Guernsey.
You might have seen the photographs on our website of them in a café. ’
CRISTY: ‘The fact that Janina lost her life not long after the pictures were taken could be put down to a tragic accident, caused perhaps by careless driving on dangerous roads that she was unfamiliar with. Or did someone force her over the edge? Matis Albescu, her old tormentor? There’s no evidence of him being on the island at that time, and why would he want her dead instead of returned to the captivity he’d kept her in for the previous five years? ’
CONNOR: ‘As we’ve read the journals we believe we do know what happened to Janina, as does Sadie, of course, and we understand why she’s choosing not to share the details publicly.
That could change now that her aunt Mia is no longer with us to be hurt by the revelations, and if it does we’ll certainly let you know. ’
CRISTY: ‘Before we go we can reveal that questions have arisen around the way Lottie Winters died back in 2020. They were posed to us by Mia days before she died. I’m afraid we can’t be specific about what was said, nor can we say for certain that Mia was thinking straight when she brought the matter up.
It’s just left that lingering doubt in our minds over what might have happened to cause Lottie’s collapse when her heart medication had allowed her to live a full and healthy life until suddenly it didn’t. ’
CONNOR: ‘Naturally we wish Sadie – or Sasha as she’d now like to be known – all the happiness she deserves with her new family, and I’m sure you do too. We hope to be back later in the spring with a brand-new series, a whole new crime to unravel and hopefully solve.’
CRISTY: ‘For now we’d like to thank our sponsors for making this production possible, and all of you for listening …’
As Connor faded out the sound, Meena let her breath go in a long, loud exhale of amazement and said, ‘Well, a redefinition of subtle, if ever I heard one. I can’t wait to see how all that plays out when it reaches the parts most other pods wouldn’t dare to go.
It must have been terrible for her, having no one there to support or guide her, or to help persuade Mia not to jump.
Wow, if no one guesses from that what you think then they’re not paying attention. ’