CHAPTER 57
AFTER THIRTY MINUTES IN CENTRAL PARK, GRACE FIGURED IT OUT.
Derrick was a bad actor and a worse liar, and as soon as the plan dawned on Grace, she pushed herself off the railing of Belvedere Castle and ran toward Tudor City.
Being alone with Marshall was a terrible idea, especially if Sidney had pieced together Grace’s past and was looking to confirm things by extracting information from him.
Grace ran out of the mouth of the park, hat pulled low and sunglasses hiding her face. Somewhere along the journey, her hat blew off or was knocked off when she sideswiped a fellow pedestrian. Grace never hesitated as the hat spiraled on the sidewalk. She kept a frantic pace toward Windsor Tower.
Henry Anderson had been her first mistake.
Falling in love so soon after the accident was a miscalculation, considering Marshall’s fits of rage.
Grace and her parents were shocked when they first saw the wrath in Marshall’s eyes when he became angry that first year after the accident.
They’d quickly learned that this behavior was common in TBI patients, and it took many months to understand how to manage Marshall’s anger.
But Grace was young, and the love she felt for Henry Anderson was real and not easily ignored.
She should have predicted how Marshall would respond.
But despite the metamorphosis in mood and temperament that Marshall went through in the months after the accident, anticipating that her younger brother was capable of murder was impossible.
At the time, Grace did not fully understand the “new” Marshall that was evolving.
She had no idea that his damaged brain had changed him so completely.
And she was clueless to how helpless Marshall was when these dark fits of rage came over him.
Back then, she didn’t understand how far Marshall would go to ensure that Grace stayed by his side as the chronic and progressive damage from his trauma stole his independence.
Things came clearly into focus, however, the night of Henry’s death when Marshall entered their hotel room at Whiteface Mountain and asked to have a game of chess.
Then, while they played on the Lladró chess set she had given him after the accident, Marshall calmly confessed that he not only knew where Henry’s body was located, but how it had gotten there.
“I’m going to be helpless, Grace. I can already feel it in my hands and feet.
The damage to my brain will eventually leave me withered and destitute.
I heard the doctor tell Mom and Dad what to expect.
You’re the only one who will take care of me.
You and I are connected, Grace. Since we were kids.
It’s always been you and me. We have to keep it that way. ”
As Grace ran now down the subway stairs, she remembered Marshall’s confession.
She remembered her revelation from that night as well.
She was no longer talking to her brother, but instead some damaged version of him.
A stranger she had created with her bad decisions that fateful night when she climbed behind the wheel of their car.
It was Grace who had decided to leave the party that night.
It was Grace who had insisted on driving, despite Marshall’s pleas that he take the wheel.
It was Grace’s decision to ignore the most logical solution of allowing Ellie to handle the responsibility.
As Grace slipped into the subway car just as the doors were closing, she remembered again that game of chess when Marshall confessed to what he’d done to Henry.
She remembered the corner of one of the pinewood chess cases, which was stained pink from Henry’s blood having soaked through the nylon bag Marshall always carried his chess set in.
She remembered her promise, too. Her promise of silence.
Her promise to allow Henry’s death forever to be considered an accident, as police had defined it.
She remembered her pledge of loyalty to Marshall, and her commitment that she would forever be by his side as his condition worsened.
She remembered their mutual understanding of their existence: Grace would not be here without Marshall, and Marshall without Grace.
She was alive because Marshall had saved her.
Marshall was alive because Grace needed to be saved.
Even if their parents would not admit as much, Grace and Marshall knew the truth.
Their sibling bond was stronger than anything else.
It would persevere—even through the death of the boy she loved.
Grace would give up her dream of delivering babies in order to understand the neurological condition that plagued her brother.
The subway car bounced and swayed. Grace checked her watch.
Without the cover of her hat, she noticed the stares from passengers around her, which fell onto her unhidden face.
They all pretended to read their phones, a device Grace had not yet acquired since her release, while they stole quick glances at her.
She kept the sunglasses in place and ignored the gawking.
Instead, her attention shifted to Daniel Greaves.
She had felt herself falling for him when they found themselves together that summer.
Grace knew her budding relationship with Daniel would likely cost her friendship with Charlotte, but she could not deny the feelings that were developing.
That is, until a cool conversation with Marshall, when he mentioned that Daniel was stealing her the same way Henry had stolen her years before.
To protect him, Grace had abruptly ended things with Daniel.
He never accepted Grace’s explanation that he should be with Charlotte, or that Grace’s friendship with Charlotte was worth too much to ruin it.
By the time she met Julian in medical school, Grace felt that she had a better handle on understanding Marshall’s condition.
The years of different medications had finally been refined.
His mood swings occurred less frequently, his temperament calmed.
There had been, over the years, a growing independence as she and Marshall were separated while she was away, first at college and later at medical school.
Marshall, Grace believed, had adapted to his condition and had accepted his limitations and his future prospects.
The medications were working, and his physical therapy was keeping him away from a wheelchair and maintaining his individuality.
The first time she introduced Marshall to Julian was at Sugar Beach.
It was a few days later—on that ill-fated night in March of 2007, when Marshall stood at the door of her cottage covered in blood and with his Lladró chess set hanging in the nylon bag from his fist—when Grace realized how badly she had miscalculated her brother’s progress.
She was saddened, not just that the man she loved was gone, but also that the brother she once knew was gone as well.
Marshall was replaced now by this weeping person in front of her, a person incapable of controlling himself.
A person she had created. She knew she would protect him, even though it would cost her dearly.
Today, with her newfound freedom, she was happy to dedicate her life to helping Marshall exist. And she had told him as much when she returned home from Bordelais, a long conversation had over their first game of chess in more than a decade.
But now, Grace worried for Sidney. The elaborate plan to get Grace out of the apartment could only mean that Sidney wanted to be alone with Marshall.
It explained Sidney’s hastened departure the other night, when she had come to discuss a pressing issue but never got to it, instead departing quickly after her chess match with Marshall.
Grace’s fear was that Sidney was now attempting to extract information about Henry Anderson and Julian Crist out of the very person from whom she should hide every detail of her discovery.
The subway mercifully slowed. Grace snaked through the doors as soon as they cracked open, and raced up the steps toward Windsor Tower.