Chapter 34
Chapter thirty-four
Ethan
The lab dissolved around Ethan, fading into the recesses of his mind like a movie transition.
He blinked rapidly, his eyes flicking to the ceiling, then to the floor, and then darting around the room.
Everything was dark yet vibrant at the same time.
The individual fibers in the carpet stood out to him, and the texture on the walls was much more visible than before, like a tiny, crater-filled landscape.
A coppery tang still filled his nose, and his eyes snapped from object to object, trying to make sense of where the blood had gone.
But as he scanned the space that was both familiar and foreign, he couldn’t find so much as a drop.
Slowly, it came back to him. The compound. This room. He knew this room. He wasn’t in the lab. The blood wasn’t real. And Tressa wasn’t…
His eyes finally cleared, landing on the one thing he suddenly wanted to see so very badly—Tressa’s face.
“Tressa?” he said, gently shaking the sleeping woman in his arms. “Tressa, wake up.”
She didn’t move.
A slow soft thud caught his attention, echoing in his ears and growing fainter with every beat. He locked onto it, as if the noise might explain what was happening.
That sound was familiar, and there was another one chasing it. Faster. So fast it pounded. But the softer thud only faded, faded, faded…
Until it pulsed no more.
Heartbeat, his brain finally supplied, and the reality in front of him was suddenly much worse than any nightmare.
“Tressa!” he screamed, shaking her to wake her up. But she didn’t move. He pulled back and stared at the horrific wound in her chest, at the blood that leaked out slowly. So very slowly.
Pain flared in his mouth, a deep ache in his gums, something sharp breaking through at the delicious scent of the blood. Her blood. Like copper and bubblegum. So wrong and yet he wanted to taste it. Wanted to lap it up like ambrosia.
But Tressa wouldn’t wake up, and the fear coiling around his heart was far more pressing than the intoxicating blood now coating his fingers.
“Somebody help me!” he screamed again, but the terrified hammering of his own heart was the only answering call to his frantic plea.
“No, no, no,” he said, lowering her to the floor and placing his hand over the gaping hole in her chest. “Come on baby, you’re a vampire. You can heal this, right? Right?!” Tears rushed down his face, and every awful thing he’d said to her raced through his head.
“You say you’re not a monster, but you’re just like her.”
“It’s not like I give a shit anymore.”
“I never want to see you again.”
He pressed harder on the wound in her chest as he peppered kisses along her slack face and lifeless lips.
There should be a tingle. There was always a tingle when they touched. But now there was nothing.
“No, please God, no.” He’d never believed in a higher power, but he knew Tressa had mentioned the whole Adam and Eve thing, so he would pray to whoever he needed to if they saved her.
“Tressa, baby, I need you to say something. Tease me about the rose on my ass. Call me a silly name. Please, I need you. I’m so sorry.
I didn’t mean it. I can’t do this without you. ”
“I never want to see you again.”
Cold. She was so cold. She’d never been cold before. He’d always read in stories that vampires were supposed to be icy and pale, but that wasn’t his goddess. Not his perfect Sunflower. She was warmth and light, even when his darkness was so strong.
She couldn’t be gone.
“I never want to see you again.”
“No,” he stated firmly. “I’m not losing you, Tressa. I’ve lost everyone in my life, but not you.”
He laid her down and began pumping her chest, doing his best to administer CPR. He felt as much as heard a sharp cracking noise, and a wail erupted from his lungs.
He kept going, though, because some logical voice in the back of his brain calmly reminded him that you weren’t doing it right if you didn’t break a rib.
So he pumped.
And pumped.
And screamed for help.
Nothing happened. The blood squelched through his fingers with each compression, but she didn’t move. Didn’t wake up.
“I never want to see you again.”
“Damn it, Tressa! You are not leaving me alone,” he growled, increasing his efforts.
“Wake.”
Thrust.
“The fuck.”
Thrust.
“UP!”
Throwing his head back, he howled his anguish to the heavens, then slammed his hands down on her chest.
Specks of violet light erupted from his fingers, swirling in a glowing mist before sinking into Tressa’s body.
Transfixed by the tiny sparkles that flowed out of him in a thin gentle stream, Ethan resisted the urge to yank his hands away. He didn’t know what was happening, but maybe, just maybe…
They hadn’t had this conversation. Hadn’t gone over the details of all the different things that vampires could do. Later. He’d said he wanted to discuss everything later. He’d fucked up.
In so many ways.
“I never want to see you again.”
“Come on, baby,” he whispered, keeping his glowing hands pressed to her chest. “Come back to me.”
Her fingers that lay limp against his leg twitched slightly, but that was nothing compared to what he heard.
A thump. A single resonant thump.
And then another.
Hope soared in Ethan.
“That’s it, Tressa,” he said, pushing even harder against her chest, as if he could force that violet light into her faster. “I need you to wake up, Sunflower.”
Her eyelids fluttered. “Ethan…” she mumbled, her sweet voice weak and so very quiet. He didn’t know how he heard it, but he did. And it was all he ever wanted to hear for the rest of his life.
“I never want to see you again.”
Fuck that shit, he snarled inside his own mind. She was going to wake up, and he was going to show her just how glad he was to see her again.
“That’s it, baby,” he pleaded. “Open your eyes. Please, Tressa. Open your eyes for me.”
Her lids twitched again, then slowly—so achingly slow it felt like time stopped for a moment—her eyes opened.
“Ethan?” she asked, confusion lacing her words as she scanned his face.
“Welcome back,” he whispered.
The purple glow receded into his hands, and Tressa glanced down, astonishment lighting her face as she watched it dissipate.
“You scared me,” he said. “I thought… I thought you were…”
“I was,” she said weakly, her head lolling backward until Ethan snaked his hand around to support it.
He pulled her in close. “Shhh. You’re okay. You’re with me. Everything is going to be okay.”
Tressa blinked a few more times, then pressed on his chest hard enough for him to relax his grip so she could push up to a seated position.
Ethan didn’t completely release his hold on her, though.
He needed to feel the warmth that was slowly seeping back into her skin.
Needed to be surrounded by that bubblegum scent.
It blended with something else, something vanilla that he thought might be coming from himself, and together, it was the sweetest aroma he had ever encountered.
Like the grocery store ice cream they’d shared only exponentially better.
His eyes drifted over Tressa’s face and down her body to the massive red stain that coated her pink satin tank top. He knew in that moment that no nightmare could ever be more terrifying than the memory of watching her die in his arms.
He’d been so awful to her. Acted like such a fucking asshole.
Of course she wouldn’t admit to being a vampire after he’d just gone through an attack.
He never would have trusted her to help him if she had confessed from the beginning.
She’d been in an impossible situation, and when he found out the truth, he had only thought about himself.
His anger. His betrayal. The logic he relied so heavily on never seemed to show up when it came to her.
It always took a backseat to the anger he felt at the utter unfairness of the world.
But it wasn’t as strong anymore. The rage inside him.
The need for revenge. He still wanted to end that vamp and make her pay for Jake’s murder, but the anger was…
less. He could see clearly again. Rationally.
Tressa had been trying to protect him. Help him when he’d given her no reason to. And he turned on her like a rabid dog.
“What’s going through your head, Ethan?” Tressa asked, her voice sounding stronger. More present.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “For everything. I don’t know why I was filled with so much hatred.”
“It’s okay,” she said, brushing a sweaty bit of hair off his face.
“No, it’s not,” he protested. “I stabbed you, Tressa. I almost… You almost…” A tear slipped down his cheek, and Tressa took his face in her hands, her thumb tenderly swiping away the bit of moisture.
“Ethan, look at me,” she said calmly. “Am I dead?”
He opened his mouth to say “No,” but then he remembered the whole vampire thing. “Um… technically yes, I think? I’m a little fuzzy on that.”
Tressa burst out laughing, and it relaxed something inside Ethan.
Like a Pavlovian response to her joy, the thorny vines of fear, regret, and self loathing that had been wound tightly through every muscle in his body loosened their grip and fell away.
Ethan wanted nothing more than to spend an eternity drawing that glorious sound from her over and over again.
“Okay, you got me there,” she said when her laughter subsided.
“But I’m breathing. And my heart is beating.
And I’m looking at you like you’re the most incredible thing in the world.
I wish you could see it, Ethan.” She ran her hands up through his hair, down his neck, and across his shoulders, her eyes taking in every inch of him. “You’re magnificent.”
He blushed. “Yeah, a magnificent fuck up. The first thing I did as a vampire was try to murder you. It’s a good thing we have these nifty healing powers. I had no idea I could bring you back from the brink of death.”