Chapter 14
Leesa
I’d called his bluff, wanted to prove his teasing was all empty talk at my expense. Now he would extricate himself gently, give an awkward laugh, make a joke about his irresistible moustache.
That was not what happened.
He was not supposed to lean into the kiss, his body thrumming with restraint, and steal the breath from my mouth. It definitely wasn’t supposed to feel this good, but I saw sparks and a fire licked up my spine as I struggled for balance.
The open-mouthed kiss gently consumed me.
I clung to his shoulders as he bent his head to come closer – deeper.
He didn’t use his tongue, as though trying to keep the kiss soft and slow, but the breaths he sucked in through his nose were obscene with longing, the hitch of a groan deep in his chest might as well have been pornographic.
I barely recognised myself, the way I was taken apart by a simple, exploratory kiss. I should have known that nothing about Colin Gallagher was simple.
His hands came up to my ribcage, sliding and fisting in the fabric of my dress.
My thoughts were floating out of reach; all I knew was that we needed to keep doing this.
The brush of his mouth over mine grew firmer, the drag of his lips becoming familiar, along with the light graze of bristles from his top lip – more subtle than I would have expected.
Time sped up, as though this kiss were four or five dates and, if he undressed me right now, I might even enjoy myself. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by sudden intimacy I hadn’t had time to process, he didn’t quite give me enough.
When I couldn’t stand it any more, I dipped my tongue out and he met the action with a groan in response.
Desire ramped up inside me with a whump against my ribcage.
If I’d known this was how I’d feel, that maybe my brain wouldn’t interrupt with its usual reservations, I might have given him a real answer in September.
What would charming, easy Colin think of that? I was starting to think he was such a good kisser, he might be able to make me forg—
‘Phew, I—’
No. My fingers dug into his shoulders to resist when he drew away. No. I’d expected him to stop this doomed experiment before it got started, not now, when I was just getting going.
‘Leesa.’
There it was, the reluctance in his tone.
Damn it, I hated being right. He didn’t want to kiss me.
For the six years I’d known him, that fact had never bothered me.
I’d never questioned it. This was the guy who’d given me a mug that revealed a picture of Rick Astley when filled with a hot beverage.
One time he’d swapped my sunscreen for self-tan lotion.
Kissing me until my eyes crossed was not part of the pattern. The biggest mystery was why I’d gone along with it. I’d flicked my tongue into his mouth, for goodness’ sake. I usually found that action a little gross, to be honest.
‘Do you have an answer to your question?’ he asked.
‘What question?’ I hadn’t even got my breath back, let alone my full faculty of speech.
To my horror, I only realised I still had my claws in him when he pried my hands gently from his shoulders. I’d left little red semi-circles on his skin.
‘You’re very clever, but you don’t know everything, especially not about me.’
I didn’t know anything about him in that moment – or about myself.
‘Maybe you’ll be more careful next time you test out your theories.’ He spoke with his usual slow drawl, but there was a threat underneath that sizzled over my skin.
But it made me find my voice. ‘I’m aware of how little I know. You keep muddying the waters with outrageous statements.’
He shrugged and I was almost convinced he’d shaken everything off – including the kiss that I was nowhere near recovering from – except the set of his mouth was too tight. ‘Muddy water, ay? Good description of you and me.’
He turned back to the mirror, flicking on the hot tap to pour in more water, and fetching his razor.
‘Are you filming this or not?’
Fumbling for my phone, I lifted the device and set up a shot where I couldn’t see myself in the mirror. He threw me a half-hearted devilish look, but there was so much wariness in him, I could barely believe he was the same man who’d teased me constantly for over a week.
The dragon on his back rippled as he lifted his hand to his foamy cheek, as though the creature could move independently.
I wished he’d say something silly, but if my banter was gone, it appeared so was his.
I caught the sound of my own breath, laboured and unsteady, and tried to calm down so it didn’t come out in the video.
But on the surface, there was nothing special about the footage.
Seeing him shave in a video would not feel as intimate as standing here while he did it.
I wouldn’t accidentally zoom in on his lips the way my gaze kept drifting there as he made careful strokes with the razor around his mouth.
If viewers were dying to know how smooth his cheeks were now, that was their fault and not because I was imbuing the video with my own suddenly clamorous desire.
In the space of five minutes, he transitioned from a strawberry-blond Henry Cavill from the Mission: Impossible era back into Colin Gallagher, as I remembered him from years of training camps.
Except he wasn’t quite the same. Or perhaps he was and I was seeing him differently, which was a disturbing thought.
‘What?’ he asked, sending me an uneasy look in the mirror.
As he rinsed off his razor and splashed water on his face, the uncomfortably tight feeling in my lungs returned.
He had a lively face, full of nuance. His eyes were soft under half-closed lids.
Yeah, I might have admitted he was cute if someone had asked, but this scrunching up every time I looked at him was new and not welcome.
‘Did I nick myself somewhere I can’t see?’ he asked, inspecting his chin thoroughly in the mirror.
Giving myself a shake, I turned off the video. ‘It’s weird to see… you again.’
‘I knew I should have kept the moustache.’
I shook my head, aiming for a dry look and probably failing. ‘No, I just… We’ve known each other a long time.’
His brow lifted. ‘We have,’ he agreed carefully.
‘Remember when you put glue on my hair ties?’
His pained grimace almost made up for what he’d done.
‘I didn’t know that stuff wouldn’t wash out.
’ He lifted a hand and, for a moment, I wondered if he was going to rub a strand of my hair between his fingers.
I didn’t like the dip of disappointment in my stomach when he dropped his hand instead.
‘It was a shame you had to cut your hair.’
‘It grew back.’
‘I didn’t—’ He swallowed and rubbed his hand through his hair. ‘I didn’t upset you, did I? With that kiss? I don’t want to make trouble for you – at least not like that.’
My skin prickled at my own confused reaction to his apology. ‘No, I mean— It was my fault, right? But we probably… shouldn’t…’
‘That’s loud and clear,’ he replied with a lopsided smile. It was a puzzling smile, dark and yet full of relief. I hadn’t imagined the eagerness of his mouth on mine, but he certainly seemed less than keen to take things further.
I’d accused him of not being serious in September, when he’d obliquely opened the topic of… this, us. But now, I wasn’t sure.
I couldn’t go back to being the Leesa who didn’t know what it was like to kiss him.
‘You know, maybe the bike ride together is a bad idea,’ I blurted out, the prospect of hours alone with him firing me up.
He drew back and studied me. He was half a foot taller and used every inch of that to look down his nose at me. ‘I might have a soft spot when it comes to you, but one kiss isn’t getting you out of that bike ride.’
I was wobbly on my legs again. What did he mean, he had a soft spot?
He pointed a finger at me. ‘You are getting back on a bike tomorrow, even if you parade past me naked, which you are welcome to do anyway.’
‘I didn’t kiss you to avoid getting back on a bike,’ I insisted.
‘I know. You were testing a theory about me and got more than you bargained for.’
My gaze snapped to his, but his eyes were thankfully glinting with humour and not deep with that wariness I didn’t know how to process. I lifted my chin. ‘Well, you can only dream about seeing me naked.’
‘Oh, I’m pretty sure I will,’ he said with a breathy laugh. ‘Tiny tits and all.’
‘Colin!’ As I spluttered an inarticulate response, he slipped past me, squeezing my elbow and dropping a quick kiss on my cheek.
He tugged his T-shirt back over his head and I pulled myself together enough to realise I should take the cue to leave. I felt his gaze on my back as I headed for the door.
‘Nine o’clock, out front. I’ll drop off some kit – and shoes – this afternoon. Nothing is going to stop me getting you on that bike.’
‘Are you planning to prank me? It is your turn. Is that why you’re so set on this excursion?’
His mouth twitched. ‘I suppose it is my turn, after your masterpiece. But nah, don’t worry.’
‘I wasn’t worried.’
His only reply was a lift of his brow.
‘I don’t know why you care so much.’
He considered his words. ‘You tested your theory about me today. Maybe I want to test some theories about you. That’s fair, right?’
‘What theories?’
He crossed his arms and the smile that stretched slowly on his face was cocky charm personified and I hoped he had no idea of the effect it had on me. ‘You’ll have to wait and see.’