CHAPTER 10 MILI
I wake up in the early morning, before the Sun has risen. I stretch beside Aurora just as she’s going to sleep, as usual. Everything feels normal, and there’s a moment of quiet peace before I remember Kar is sleeping in the next room. I push myself up with a start, and Aurora raises an eyebrow.
“Something startle you?” she asks.
I shake my head. “No, it’s –it’s nothing.” But there is something. Yesterday’s sex was quite the experience, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
Aurora’s eyes harden slightly as she slowly says, “Regretting anything?”
I feel my eyes welling with confusion and shame, and I close them firmly to stop the tears. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I’ve done.” I feel her arm rest on my leg, and I look up at her through my tear-clouded vision.
“Ask him to leave, then, hm? No harm done.” I open my mouth to contradict her; I don’t want to kick out someone in need. She continues, though, “You aren’t meant to be with anyone else – you’re meant to be with me . You’ve only been with women before, anyways. Why change that now?”
For a moment, I feel some quiet discontent at what she’s saying; after all, at least part of it was nice with Kar. It was different than what I’m used to, but I did orgasm. I think. It wasn’t ... Realm-bending, or anything, but it was about as pleasurable as my intimacy with Aurora usually is. Aurora’s eyes bore into me, though, and after a moment, I nod with forcefully inspired resolve.
“Alright,” I say. “I’ll speak with Kar.”
Aurora smiles broadly, eyes sparkling with wild confidence – as if there’s been a battle, and she’s won. “Good. I’ll see you at twilight, Mili,” she says happily, lying back on the bed to sleep.
Seeing that I’ve been dismissed, I stand and sigh shakily. I sit at my vanity briefly and brush my hair, trying to gather up my thoughts and confidence, and I think back to Aurora’s words. It’s true that so far I’ve mainly been with women, but I like men, some of my best friends are men. I’m trying to think who do I know that’s a man, present company excluded of course. Not Kar, someone in town, hmmm who else. I guess not many.
I finally get up from the vanity and walk out to the living room.
I scan the bookshelf and feel relieved to note it hasn’t been disturbed. Kar’s still asleep on the loveseat when I walk in, and I note the grimace on his resting face. He twitches quietly in his sleep, and I go to wake him up.
“Kar,” I whisper, shaking his shoulder gently. “You’re dreaming.”
His eyes shoot open, bloodshot and crazed-looking, and I leap back as he flings himself at me. I roll out of the way as he lunges, his long fingernails looking horribly claw-like as he attacks. He recovers quickly, pulling himself into a sitting squat and staring at me. He pants wildly and his back arches as he prepares to leap again.
“Kar!” I cry out. “It’s me, it’s Mili! You were having a nightmare.”
He cocks his head to the side, and a vision of him as an owl hunting a mouse in the night sky flickers in my mind. I shiver at the thought, but lift my hands up to show that I mean no harm. A split second later, his eyes soften and he drops out of his offensive stance.
“Mili,” he whispers. “I’m –I’m so sorry.”
I smile, still half-terrified, and reply, “It’s okay.” I don’t ask him, but I’m curious what he was dreaming about that was so violent.
He stands slowly and holds a hand out for me to take. After he pulls me up, he envelops me in a cool hug, his cold hands pressing into my back. He kisses me on the forehead, then pulls back to face me.
“Thank you for waking me. I was – it wasn’t a good dream.”
I let out a soft laugh. “No, I’d imagine not.”
He nods, still looking a bit frenzied, and I motion for us both to sit on the loveseat. His eyebrows furrow, as if he can already feel what I’m going to say, but he sits.
“Kar,” I start, “I have to speak with you about last night.”
His eyebrows pull even tighter together, and his mouth turns downward. “What about?” He smirks, then, and says, “You seemed to have had a lovely time. I felt your thighs quake – I know you came for me.”
I blush at the memory; I suppose I did come with him. I didn’t expect to, which is part of what makes this all so confusing. The more time passes since we had sex, though, the more clear my memory becomes. It wasn’t Kar that I was coming for, not really. I remember sensing someone ... different, even while Kar was inside of me.
I felt Kar, I felt Aurora, but I also felt someone else. I felt a warm presence, someone strong and alluring. That was what pushed me over the edge, I realized during the night. Not Kar, not Aurora. It was, so strangely,the sensation of a dragon , the dragon . The same one that’s been occupying my thoughts lately and messing with my senses and instincts.
I’ve never seen the guardian dragon of the volcano, except in my dreams. Did I hallucinate during the act, or was I in such a trance that I created his presence. There was a feeling of heat, of molten rock; He touched me, kissed me, slid fingers and lips up and down my body ...
“Mili,” he whispered with his lips while kissing my neck. A flash of golden hair, a flicker of blue eyes; a handprint on my heart, my soul. “I found you.”
He caressed me, deep blue eyes staring down the bridge of his strong nose into me. I inhaled as he pushed in deeper and deeper. As I moaned loudly, he inhaled to catch it. I held on to his broad chest and strong arms, all the while, he continued thrusting into me, the smell of him perfuming the air. Tendrils of apple cider and leather curled around me and spread up, up, into my body. I felt the warmth of the spicy smell enter my sex, unfurling within me, spreading out in waves of heat and passion.
It felt as natural as breathing, as easy as smiling, as exciting as...
... “Well, don’t deny it,” Kar says, snapping me back to reality.
I sigh, sad to leave the memory of the dream, which felt so good, so safe, so right; still, I have to face the day. “Don’t get worked up, I won’t deny it.”
“Ha!” he guffaws. “I showed you the best sex of your life, did I not?”
My brows furrow with concern; this might be harder than I thought, if he’s determined to be cocky about it. “Yes, it was good, Kar. And I so appreciate you sharing yourself with me. The thing is, I –it’s not a good idea for you to stay here any longer.”
The coldness I’ve been trying to ignore from him comes out in full force, then. His eyes shutter off into blank orbs, detached and judgmental. He smiles, devoid of emotion, and cocks his head to the side. “Well, I’m sure that’s a mistake. What, did your little friend get jealous? I could have a little word with her, I’m sure, help her to ... come around.” His grin grows into something even more sinister, and I step slowly back from him.
“No, that won’t be necessary. It’s just – I’ve never been with a man this way before, and Aurora is so good to me. I’m sure I’ve just complicated things between the two of us, and I cannot bear to do so further.”
He slowly presses in, closer and closer to me, and I continue stepping back, slowly losing my balance as I become more and more frightened. I stumble back into the living room chair, and Kar steps forward again, forcing me to fall into it.
I’ve ignored the signs from the start, he was handsome so I’ve indulged without thinking straight and without taking precautions. I’ve made a big mistake, and now that mistake is unleashing more trouble.
Once I’m down in the chair, Kar places both his hands above my shoulders, and I feel myself shrinking beneath him. “Kar–” I start to whisper.
“Oh, shut up,” he hisses. “Foolish girl. You welcomed me here, you practically begged me to come home with you, to sleep with you. Do you realize the depth of this transgression?”
“What transgression?” The whisper barely escapes me before he’s pressing his hands down on my shoulders, sharp fingernails digging into my collarbones.
“Inviting me, just to turn me away.” After a moment, he releases me, and I try to hide my shaking (and to ignore the small trickle of blood coming from the wounds left by his nails).
“I helped you. I healed you.” I say as I muster up some courage and I try to remember who I am, and make sure he knows it too. “It was a mistake to bring you here and put you between me and Aurora, but you came willingly. Now it’s over. I’ve helped you enough.”
He stands, staring down at me like a hawk, before smirking cruelly. “You know,” he says, “You did help me, I think I’ve begun to remember.”
I stutter, “R-remember? Remember what, Kar?”
His smile widens into a ferocious, wild-eyed grin. “Everything.”
In an instant, he scoops up the woolen coat I gave him, laces up his boots, and practically dances over to the front door. I stare after him in shock, but at least I’m not shaking in the chair anymore. Once he’s at the door, he sends it swinging open like it weighs nothing, and I gasp as it slams into the wall.
“I’ll be seeing you, Mili,” he whispers, still smiling coldly. Then, just like that, he’s gone into the early morning light.
I run to the door to close it behind him, and see the Moon shining down on him like a silver cloak.