CHAPTER 31 MILI
I t’s been three days since Cory agreed to help me with the spell, and it’s officially time for us to call the healing rain. I’ve been preparing my part of the spell for hours in the dead of night, since I plan to meet him just before sunrise, I can only hope that Cory is doing his part. It’s not that I doubt him, I just ...worry.
I’ve never had to rely on a partner for a spell before, so I keep telling myself it’s normal to be nervous. It’s normal to worry he’ll forget his part, or back out at the last minute, or won’t care enough about the spell for it to work.
Even as I think through the worries clearly, I can sense how ridiculous and irrational they are. Still, that doesn’t make the fear just go away.
I collect two small sachets – one for me, one for Cory –and the rest of the herbs and supplies I’ll need for my enchantment, then I head to the door. I ring the bell, as Cory instructed me to, and pace impatiently while I wait for Max or Port to arrive to walk me to the top of the cinder cone.
Finally, a soft knock-knock-knock as someone arrives at my door – I can already tell that it’s Port, the sound is so gentle – and I swing the door open hurriedly.
“Hello, Milica,” he smiles. His eyes are sloped down at the corners, betraying a hint of concern, and I sigh.
“Don’t look so anxious, Port,” I mumble, half-glaring up at him.
At that, he smiles and shakes his head in amusement. “I’m not anxious, Mili. Perhaps thoughtful.” I hum noncommittally in response and he rolls his eyes, though he’s still smiling. “Well,” he starts quietly, “are you ready?”
That’s the question, isn’t it? Am I ready? I blow out a heavy breath and force myself to nod, pushing down all the fears that we’ll fail, that I’ll fail. We won’t fail, though. We can’t. I feel myself frowning, and Port’s brows furrow in concern.
“Mili?” he asks, stepping closer to me. “Are you alright?” His hand lands on my arm, and I shiver slightly at the touch. He pulls away, embarrassed, but I don’t want him to. I want him here, wrapped around me –touching me, holding me.
I don’t look at him as I step closer and bury my face in his chest, wrapping my hands around his back. He hesitates for a second before wrapping his hands around me, too, and I sigh quietly at the smell of his crisp apple and green leaves under the rain scent. “Can we stand here for a moment?” I whisper.
Port runs a hand through my hair and replies, “We’ll stay as long as you like.”
I focus on Port’s gentle fingers brushing through my hair, trying to quiet my spiraling thoughts. After a moment, he rests his chin on the top of my head, and a small smile blooms across my features. Port’s gentleness, I realize, is exactly what I need right now –especially before I have to work alongside Cory’s fieriness.
It’s strange; the three shifters make each other stronger, but also more at ease, more balanced. Port’s soft intuitiveness, Max’s rough-around-the-edges protectiveness, and Cory’s powerful leadership work together to create something beautiful. It’s something I want to be a part of –with all of them. The thought is as exciting as it is terrifying, and I wrap my arms tighter around Port.
A minute later, I sigh and slowly start to pull back from Port –there’s no more time to waste, as much as I’d like to stay here with him all morning. He smiles knowingly at me and holds out an arm for me to hold onto as we walk down the hall.
My hand around his elbow, Port and I make our way up to the top of the mountain. We walk in total silence, each of us enveloped in our own thoughts. Strangely, I don’t devolve into thoughts about the spell right away; instead, I feel myself still flushed from the warmth of Port’s embrace.
As we see the staircase to the volcano’s peak come into view, I tilt my head to glance privately at him, trying quietly to commit his features to memory. My gaze quickly runs over his smooth porcelain skin, warmed by the orange sconces on the walls, his lovely, hooded eyes. Without realizing it, I step closer and closer to him until our hips are nearly touching.
He looks down at me with a hint of surprise in his eyes, but it quickly turns to a smile. I blush harder and face forward again, though I wrap my hand more tightly around his arm. We continue walking, but Port slows us down as we near the stairs, as though he can’t bear to part with me yet.
After a moment of silence, he asks softly, “Do you know how brave you are, Mili?”
“Me?” The word tumbles out of me without a thought, and I become embarrassed at my disbelief in myself. “I mean –I never thought I was especially brave. Certainly not now .”
“You are, though,” Port continues earnestly. “You came here, alone, even when you thought you might fail, and even when you thought you were being hunted. You haven’t shied away when Cory has been brash, or Max has been callous, or I’ve been ... too much.”
At that, I gasp in offense and stop in my tracks. “Too much? Port, you’re wonderful. Do you know how much harder this all would have been without you?”
Port blushes this time, especially when I swivel to face him. He chews his lip and shrugs. “I just thought sometimes I might be too ... I don’t know, perhaps that I’d been overbearing. You have to understand, for weeks before you came here, the three of us could sense you, smell you. We were practically infatuated before even knowing you. I know I was.”
As he speaks, I stare up at him with my mouth agape. I had no idea they really felt that way about me; I almost thought I was alone in caring so deeply for them, especially so soon. It’s relieving and frightening all at once. I don’t want to hurt them, after all.
“Don’t be upset,” Port blurts out. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you this, not right before you and Cory save Ethelinda.”
“ Try to save Ethelinda,” I whisper.
Port shakes his head and furrows his brows. “You will accomplish it, Milica. I know it.”
Although it’s hard to believe him, he looks so certain that I can’t help but feel a bit more confident. I nod quietly and a whisper of a smile curves his lips. He takes my hand in his and presses it to his mouth, his full lips caressing my knuckles sweetly.
Port lowers my hand back to my side, and I’m suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to kiss him. I feel my breath hitch in my throat, and I step in closer to him, my body moving on its own accord.
For the first time since I’ve known him, Port looks almost awe-struck. He’s very gentle and kind, but he keeps himself tightly restrained. He’s flirtatious but cautious, never tipping over into genuinely pursuing me as a romantic option. Now, I’m the one toeing the line, inching us ever closer to real intimacy.
I lift a hand to his jaw and cup it with my palm, smiling as he leans into my touch. He sighs as his eyes soften, and I stare up at him, letting my eyes fall to his lips. I see his eyes open wider, and I feel my lips part instinctively as I look back into them.
His gaze drops down to my open mouth, and I feel him shudder slightly. His hand moves from clasping mine to pulling me into him by the small of my back, and I gasp softly as I press into him.
In an instant his lips are on mine, moving passionately, urgently. He parts my mouth to taste inside of me, groaning softly into my lips. I wrap my hand into his tightly-coiled hair, relishing the feeling of him curving his arm even tighter around my back.
Port’s other hand tangles itself in the hair at the nape of my neck, and I sigh as I let my limbs soften, giving myself into this touch, this moment. He sucks softly on my bottom lip and I shiver, causing him to smile against me.
After a long moment, I pull back to keep from growing too lightheaded. Port presses his forehead to mine, his eyes closed happily.
“You’re something wonderful, Mili,” he murmurs gently.
“And you’re something beautiful,” I whisper back.
He presses a quick peck to my lips again, and I sigh contentedly as he pulls back. He gazes into my face, his eyes tracing all my features, then takes my hand in his once more.
“We’d better get you up there,” he says gently.
I nod, but as the light from the balcony up ahead spills closer and closer to us, the levity I felt mere moments before dissipates. Realm’s Mother, this is our only chance , I think to myself. The thought sends a pang of anxiety down my spine, and Port rests a hand gently on my back as we walk forward, almost as if he can sense it.
“Almost there, Milica,” he murmurs tenderly.
I force myself to focus on my breathing as we make the trek up the staircase, Port never lifting his hand from the small of my back. Normally, my breath work brings me peace, but now the most comfort I find is in his touch.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
I glance up at him and see him already gazing down at me. “Of course, Mili. I’m here for you.”
I smile wearily and clutch his hand as we reach the open air at the top of the staircase. We stand together before the narrow opening, and I take a moment. I quickly check my belongings – sachets, herb bundles, matchsticks, potions – and find everything in place.
“I’m ready,” I whisper to Port. He nods in return, and I sigh shakily as I face the open-air doorway.
Port squeezes my hand and I step forward, heart dropping to my stomach as he lets my hand drop from his. I can’t help but turn to watch him make his way back down the staircase, and we make eye contact once he’s a few feet below me.
He nods up at me with a soft smile, and I return the gesture with what I hope is a confident, reassuring expression. Then I see Max appear at the bottom of the stairs, and my heart swells with relief that Port won’t have to wait for the healing rain alone.
“Good luck, Mili,” Max nods up to me. I force a smile and wave, feeling my hand shaking as I do so.
Once Port is a few steps further down, I force myself to turn back to the opening and step into the air. There’s a moment of horrible fear before I do, worry that, despite all mine and Cory’s efforts, we will fail. The fear that Ethelinda will fall with or without our help nearly freezes me to the spot.
Then I hear Cory call my name, soft, but firm. “Mili,” he says.
My eyes go wide and I spin to my left until I see him, standing at the base of yet another staircase, this one carved into the side of the volcano. He’s dressed in dark colors again, but this time, in a ceremonial coat that matches my own garments, both of us in black fitted tunics with thin sapphire ornamentation around our hems, black belts around the waist. He looks handsome, and my heart flutters in a confusing combination of attraction and worry.
He nods at the stairs, and I hurry over to meet him. It’s early dawn, and the Sun is just below the horizon. The sky is painted in dusky lilac and sapphire, and the only clouds visible appear a fortnight’s walk from Ethelinda.
Once I reach him, he holds a hand out for me, and I grab it gently. He wraps his hand tightly around mine and walks me in front of him on the stairs.
“I’ll be right behind you,” he murmurs in my ear.
Then I start the journey up to the top.