Chapter 16
SIXTEEN
LEO
When the doctor looked me in the eye and told me that my legs and feet were going to hurt when the meds wore off, I laughed at him.
“Trust me,” I’d said, “I know what pain feels like. I can handle it.”
Past me had no idea what I was in for. All I want in the world is to cut my legs off at the thigh so this pain will stop.
I’ve never been burned like this before.
After the Incident, I had scrapes all along my body, a bashed-in skull, broken ribs, and a shattered elbow, but I was on heavy drugs for most of it.
This is different.
The bottoms of my feet took the worst of it, and the dressings help keep me from accidentally rubbing them on anything, but they don’t provide any reprieve from how it feels.
And I meant what I said when I told North I didn’t take strong drugs.
I nearly developed a dependence on opiates after the Incident, and I’m not risking that again.
I’m lying back, trying not to cry, when Teddy and North appear in the doorway, and I know I have to function long enough to tell Teddy about what happened.
North hangs back in the corner of the room, and I do my best not to stare at him as Teddy pulls up a chair and pulls out a clicky pen and a notepad.
“I’m also recording in case I miss anything,” he tells me, tapping his right processor.
‘Whatever you need,’ I sign.
He smiles and clears his throat. “Tell me what you remember about the fire.”
“Well, nothing,” I admit. His brows fly up. “I remember the power going out. I was feeling fine, actually. Normally, when I have cluster seizures like that, I feel funky all day, but I was pretty coherent. Right?” I glance at North.
He looks surprised. “Ah—yeah. You seemed normal. Or whatever. Sorry, is that offensive?”
“Is that what?” Teddy asks.
‘Offensive,’ I spell for him. “And no, it’s not. Anyway, North came by to bring some food. The storm knocked out the power, and, uh…we were talking. Then he got called in—no. Something else happened, right?”
North looks unhappy as he nods. “My mom called, and I needed to see her before my shift.”
Teddy frowns again, so I interpret in ASL before dropping my exhausted arms into my lap. “He had to run, and then I started seeing flashing lights in my periphery. Aura.”
“One more time?” Teddy asks, then grimaces. “Sorry. Bad hearing fatigue today. My brain’s not processing sound the way I want.”
‘You’re fine,’ I answer in sign. ‘Flashing lights. Aura,’ I sign, spelling the last word. “That’s when I knew a seizure was coming.”
“Do you remember where you were when the seizure hit?”
I frown. “Not really. I remember standing in the middle of the room, and then, like always, it just goes blank. The only thing I recall is being dragged across the floor before I was out. They gave me the good drugs right after I got to the ED, so that’s all a blur too.”
Teddy writes that all down. “Anything else?”
My cheeks get hot. “Last night, North reminded me that I needed to be careful with the candles, and I wasn’t. You can list it as my fault if you want.”
Teddy puts the notepad down and leans forward, snatching my hand. “Having a seizure was not your fault. Yes, there were too many candles, but this was an accident, okay?”
My chest feels a little tight. “I won’t do anything like that again.”
Teddy squeezes my hand hard. “I know.”
The moment sits quietly, and then he lets me go and leans back in the chair. “Are you doing okay now?”
“You need that for your report?”
He laughs. “No, I’m asking as your friend. You look like you’re in pain.”
“It’s not that bad,” I lie. “I need to find somewhere to live for a while, and that sucks, but my feet will heal.”
“Oh. I have a room if—” Teddy begins, but North immediately stops him.
“Easton and I have that figured out already.”
Teddy lifts both brows and looks at North for a long time—and oh shit.
He knows. I catch a little smile tugging at the corners of his mouth when he looks back at me.
“Well, if you change your mind, or if your plans fall through, call me.” He stands up and brushes his hands down his jeans before gathering his notepad.
“I should go. North, you’re hanging out here, right? ”
North clears his throat, looking oddly sheepish. His head bows, and a small lock of wavy hair falls over his forehead before he looks up so Teddy can see his lips. “Yeah. Until Easton’s finished with Cam.”
Teddy offers him his fist to bump, and then he turns to me and winks. “Let me know when you’re sprung. We’ll hang out.”
I nod, not trusting myself to say anything as he heads out.
North stares at me, then takes a step forward before taking one back. “Uh…sorry about that. If you want to stay with Teddy, you totally can.”
I frown. The pain in my feet is agony now, but fixating on North is helping me stay distracted. “What plan did you and Easton figure out?”
He rubs the back of his neck, and fuck, why do I like it so much when he does that? Maybe it’s because he always blushes when he does it. I feel an uncontrollable urge to reach for him, and it’s in that moment that I realize I don’t need to control it.
I hold my hand out, and he comes easily. His fingers slip between mine, careful of the IV, and he does what he did before. He lifts my palm to his lips and kisses it.
His five-o’clock shadow is rough against my fingertips, his lips soft and warm, and the kiss lingers and lingers, like he doesn’t want it to stop.
“Tell me about this plan,” I repeat.
He lets out a sigh through his nose, then drops my hand, though he doesn’t let go. He leans on the bed railing and meets my gaze before his eyes fall down to my lips, like maybe he wants to kiss me. I try to ignore the disappointment when he doesn’t.
“I have space,” he finally says.
I frown at him. “You have space?”
“I know my house is a total shithole—and I know you’re used to living nicer than that. And hell, your brother told me about the settlement you got. We both know you could afford a cushy rental, and you don’t need to stay with me, but—”
Oh. Oh! “Are you offering me your house?”
He swallows heavily. “Um. Well, a room there, yes.”
My entire body jolts, and I don’t know what my face does, but North definitely misreads it because he lets me go and takes a step back.
“I knew it was a terrible idea. I was hoping to fix my place up before I invited anyone to stay there, but—”
“Yes,” I breathe out before he can finish. He goes dead silent. “If you don’t mind having me.”
Now his face is almost afraid. “You’re sure? I mean, it really is a hole.”
“It isn’t.” It’s not the nicest place I’ve ever been to, and it needs work, but it’s his. And he’s there. It’s one street away from my house, which means not much has to change except where I’m sleeping. “You have a spare room for me?”
“Ah, uh…it’s a three bedroom,” he says, then coughs. “But the other two are kind of, well… one is still being repaired. The floors, I mean. The other is storage.”
“Oh. That’s okay. The couch will be fine.” I’m lying, of course. His couch is horrible and uncomfortable, but if that’s what I need to do in order to stay with him, I’ll take it. This is an offer I will not refuse.
North takes my hand again, then leans down and kisses me quiet. It’s chaste, but he lingers, and god, I never want it to stop. “No,” he murmurs against my lips when he breaks for air. “You get my bed.”
“North—”
“My bed,” he repeats. “You’re still healing, I’m gone half the week at the station anyway, so if anyone’s sleeping on my crap couch, it’ll be me.”
“Or neither of us,” I say.
He stares at me. Is that…hope in his eyes? Or am I projecting?
“I want that.” I sense a but coming. “Uh…but…”
There it is. I say nothing, waiting, bracing myself for him to tell me he doesn’t want the same things I do.
“You’ve been through it, so I need you to prioritize what’ll make you comfortable.”
He drags a chair close to the bed, then sits down as I process what he’s saying.
My hand drifts to his hair, and I stroke my nails over his scalp. Letting out a soft groan, he turns his face up to look at me. “This might be too fast. And I’m afraid of fucking it up because I really like you, and I want this to work.”
“I was such an ass to you,” I whisper. My fingers trail down his temple as I try to manage how bad I feel for the way things had been between us. It’s almost as overwhelming as the pain in my feet. “How can you still like me after all that?”
“You weren’t…” He trails off, then laughs when I scoff. “Okay, fine. Maybe you were a bit. But so was I. I know I didn’t make this easy on you. I let my mouth get ahead of me and said some really dickish stuff.”
He’s not wrong, and I think I can admit we were both so messy to each other. I scratch his scalp again, and he hums in pleasure. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize the truth before now.”
“Me too.” He looks at me. “I want you to stay with me. I want to see where this goes. But I want you to promise me that if it starts to feel like it’s too much, you will tell me, and we’ll find you somewhere else.”
The answer is too easy because all I want is to be with him, and I can’t imagine that’ll stop. “I promise.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.” I laugh softly. “Come here and kiss me?”
He does, pinning each hand to either side of me and kissing me soundly for as long as we’re left alone, which, considering everyone is very busy right now, is a very long time.
“Excellent. Well done.” The physical therapy tech can’t be more than twenty-one and very peppy, which is annoying as fuck, but only because I’m in pain.
She’s currently helping me learn how to navigate the hallways and doorways with my new wheelchair. It’s a clunky hospital rental, but considering I’m not allowed to walk on my feet, which are currently covered in blisters, it’s the only way I’m going to be able to get around.
And I’m not sure how that’s going to work in North’s house.
He and Easton came by to check on me, and now that I’ve got the all clear from my neurologist and a brand-new prescription for my seizures, I’m being discharged tomorrow morning.