Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
LEO
Sometimes I think if there is a hell, it’s going to be endless, eternal waiting to get discharged from the hospital after a long stay. The eagerness in my chest has me wanting to jump up and see myself out.
The burns on my feet and my inability to go more than a short distance in the wheelchair before burning out keep me sitting on the bed, staring at the door, waiting for my discharge papers.
My brother’s currently downstairs at the pharmacy, getting everything filled. I’m going home with mild painkillers, burn dressing, ointments to help when the blisters begin to heal, and some albuterol because my lungs are still inflamed from all the smoke.
But as far as terrible accidents go, this one was better than the last, which is probably a screwed-up thing to think, but it’s true.
“Why do you look like someone kicked a puppy?” Easton strolls in a second after I hear his voice. “You should be ecstatic you’re getting the fuck out of here.”
I grimace. “At the very least, I’m thrilled to be able to sleep the whole night without someone waking me up by shoving a needle into my arm.”
Easton flings something at me, and the pain medication makes me too slow to catch it. It smacks me in the chest and slides to my lap. “You’ll be able to open up your own pharmacy with the amount of crap they’re sending you home with.”
I’m not mad about it though. It means I won’t have to burden North by sending him out on a ton of errands for me.
“There’s a shitload of hydrogel in there,” Easton adds, “but if you run out, just call me. We have a ton of it at the station, and I don’t mind stealing for you.”
I lift a brow at him. “You’re going to get fired.”
He shrugs and grins as he rests his forearms behind his head and leans back. “That’s fine. We both know you have enough cash to pay my mortgage if I’m out of a job.”
I shrug. It’s true—I would.
I’ve been too afraid to touch what I have sitting in the bank. It feels like blood money. It’s the settlement from the suit against the tour company, the life insurance that Liam’s policy paid out, and what little we’d managed to save together before everything went to shit.
Easton slides up to me and gently wraps an arm around my shoulder. “Seriously, are you okay with all of this? I know it’s a lot, and—”
“I’m okay.”
He frowns. “Leo.”
I meet his gaze. “Do you really think I’m that fragile?”
“I think that after working your ass off to find your independence, you lost your fucking house in a horrible fire, and now you have to go live with a guy you don’t like all that much.”
My cheeks burn. “It’s…I don’t not like him.”
His brow furrows deeper. “You hate his guts. All you do is talk about how annoying he is. Oh god, please don’t turn this into some hero worship and think you’re in love with him or something. I cannot deal with that right now.”
My stomach sinks into my knees. He’s not right, but he’s also not too far off the mark, which is clearly a problem. I clear my throat. “It’s not like that. I’m not in love with him. But we had a nice talk before everything happened, and I realized I was being a bit too much.”
“Of what?”
I shrug. “Myself.”
He sucks in a breath to tell me off and try and stroke my ego, but luckily for us both, a nurse appears with a small stack of papers before he can start in on me.
“You ready to get out of here, Mr. Harris?”
I feel a genuine smile coming on. “More than you could ever imagine.”
Driving into my neighborhood and skipping my street is an odd feeling. I have the window down, and I know it’s all in my head, but for a second, I swear I smell the lingering scent of the fire. It’s sort of earthy, baked wood mixed with the acrid scent of melted plastic and wires.
But I know it’s all in my head.
The neighborhood is all fresh air—the kind of crisp scent saying that the stormy season is nearly over and autumn is on the way. I breathe in and feel it fill my lungs, fighting the urge to cough as Easton turns down the street toward North’s house.
The sun’s almost set, so the streetlights are bathing everyone’s front porch in an unnatural yellow glow, and I see his place come into view.
The last time I was here, I was so angry at him, yet I wanted him with a desperation I couldn’t control. And that’s how I feel about him now, only this time, I’m allowed to touch. I’m allowed to pull him in and kiss him. I’m allowed to have him in any way he’s willing to give himself to me.
My whole body goes white-hot at the thought of what we might do together as soon as I’m feeling better.
“Easton?”
“Mm? You good? If you’re changing your mind about this, you know Teddy will—”
“No,” I cut him off. “It’s not that.” I take a breath as he slows down and pulls into the driveway. “North’s a good guy, isn’t he?”
Easton puts the engine in park, then twists to look at me. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, he’s a good person. Like, a really good person.”
Easton glances down at his hands. “He’s been through more shit than a lot of people should have to go through.
He had it rough when he was a kid, and it got worse when he got older.
” He hesitates. “His family relies on him for a lot, and I think he struggles to say no or to think he deserves to be taken care of. It’s why he’s never had a relationship before. ”
I jolt. “Wait. Like…ever?” I knew he was inexperienced. He told me himself. But I hadn’t realized what he was saying meant never.
Easton shrugs. “Please don’t take that as proof that he’s some kind of loser who—”
“No,” I interrupt quickly. “No, I’m not.
I won’t. That’s not what I meant.” I suck in a breath to tell Easton that I think North is brave and that the world has failed him, only my feet begin to throb, and I drop my head back to breathe through the pain.
The blood is starting to pool in my toes, and I feel sick. “I need to get inside.”
“Shit,” Easton says and scrambles for the door. “Hang on. Don’t puke in my car.”
“I’m not going to puke in your car, asshole,” I try to tell him, but he either can’t hear me or he doesn’t care. He’s around the other side in seconds, ripping the wheelchair pieces from the back seat, and he struggles to put them together.
“Oh my god, how does he even do this?” Easton murmurs before finally getting the wheels on.
It’s a very nice chair with a low seat and handles that pop on and off so it can prevent people from pushing without permission. I have no idea who loaned it, but I’m grateful for something nicer than what the hospital gave me.
“Alright,” my brother says when he’s done. “Brace yourself.” He leans over and tucks his arm under my legs and lifts me in a bridal carry to set me on the seat. The pain is still present, but I feel better now that I’m not in the car.
“Thank you.”
He squeezes my shoulder, then turns and scowls at the porch. There’s obviously no ramp, and I frown. I didn’t think that one through, and neither did Easton.
“I’m going to grab North,” he says quickly.
I don’t have a chance to protest. I watch helplessly from my spot as Easton bounds up to the front door and lets himself in with a bang. I hear him bellow North’s name, and then his voice gets quieter.
My stomach starts to twist because although North’s truck is here, what if he isn’t? What if he freaked out at the idea of me staying with him—of me sharing a damn bed with him—and fled the country or something?
“CAW CAW!”
The sound of the crow is so startling I almost topple over the side of the chair when huge black wings flap in my face. And a second later, several tiny claws dig into my thigh as the bird lands on me.
Beady eyes stare into mine as I freeze, and then I realize the crow only has one leg.
This is North’s crow. The one that visited me the day of the fire. The one who’d been hiding on my porch from the storm.
“Hey. You made it,” I murmur.
“CAW!”
The sound is a lot. But I lift a finger, and the crow begins to nibble with the side of its beak before going still. I stroke over the top of its head for a second, and then he ruffles his feathers and fluffs up.
“Are you flirting with me?” I ask softly.
“He’d better not be. Russell, go find something else to do,” comes a familiar voice.
My heart skips a beat, and my entire body goes warm as North shuffles down his steps. He’s got his hands on his hips, shirt off, and his jeans hang so low I can see a trail of hair going toward his pelvis.
My mouth goes dry.
The crow ruffles his feathers, then suddenly takes off without warning as North finishes crossing the distance between us, and he offers me a sleepy smile that makes my entire insides go soft.
“Hey.”
I swallow heavily as I stare up at him. From where I’m seated in the chair, he seems so…tall. So big. So…
Much.
“You okay?” he asks when I meet him with silence.
Licking my lips, I nod. “Um. Just tired, I think.”
North blows out a puff of air, then turns to look at his house before his gaze catches on Easton’s. “I guess I didn’t think the chair and ramp thing through.”
Easton shrugs. “I can lift him—”
“Let me,” North says, a little too quickly. Fuck, he is going to give us away. Luckily, my brother is about as observant as a potato sometimes, and he just nods and steps to the side while North reaches down, and once more, I’m scooped into a bridal carry.
“I’m really starting to hate this,” I growl as he takes a step toward the porch stairs.
Hurt flickers over his face. “Sorry.”
I really dislike myself sometimes. “It’s not you. I just miss being on my feet. I don’t like being a burden.”
His grip on me tightens for a brief second, and then he lets out a small sigh. “Leo, you are not a burden. You never have been.”
I don’t know if I’ll ever get tired of hearing the way he says my name. The L curls around the middle of his tongue, like he’s making sure the sound lingers. Like he wants my short, pointless name to mean something.