34. Reed
reed
It’s never been this loud out here before. Even the coyotes that come through don’t make this much of a racket with their howling.
We’ve got five camp chairs set up at the riverside, with pizzas and drinks on two small fold-out tables. Nobody’s saying much of anything, but they’re filling the silence while they wait. They’re being patient with me, but it’s clear they’re curious why I asked them out here.
Time to get down to business.
I clear my throat. “I have some confessions to make.”
Nathan rubs his hands together, but Luke swats him. “Let’s hear him out.”
“We might never get this chance again.” Graham has a slice of pizza in one hand and covers the top of his pop can with the other.
As kids, he once left a can unattended in the back yard while we played.
The yellow jacket that found its way inside left a lasting impression on both Graham’s mouth and his psyche.
He’s got the worst luck with the outdoors.
“We’ll be serious.” Lucy glares at the lot of them. As if she never rivals Nathan on the silliness meter.
“You know Harry left me Perk Me Up.” They didn’t meet him other than in passing, but I mentioned my fishing buddy enough they had some idea who he was.
“It’s no secret I’ve struggled to settle into small business ownership.
I’m not good at it, but I’ve held onto it.
I guess I’m trying to honor Harry’s memory. ”
Running a successful coffee shop seems like a poor way to honor a man who was more at home on a river than in town.
Just like me. But that “Do better” admonition has haunted me, leaving me more unmoored than he probably ever intended.
Maybe Rose was right that he didn’t mean it as criticism of me.
That he meant me to live my life to the fullest in a way he didn’t.
That’s still a lot of pressure to put on a guy.
“I got an offer on the coffee shop today.”
Lucy gasps. The others look thoughtful.
“You’re going to sell?” Nathan asks.
I shrug, splaying my hands. “That’s what we’re here to talk about.”
“Is it a good offer?” Luke would have been the most logical choice for me to talk to one-on-one, as a small business owner himself. Same with Dad, who owned the hardware store first. But it’s not just about the business side of things. This isn’t a cut-and-dry, pure numbers scenario.
“Better than I’d list it for.”
Luke nods. “A few other businesses in town have received offers, too. More tourism’s bringing us more attention, and bigger companies want in on it.” He levels me a hard look. “Which you would know if you came to the Sunshine Small Business Society meetings.”
I wave him off. Not the time. “The money’s not important.”
“Right.” Nathan grabs another slice of pizza. “Because you’re so rich.”
I tick my head to the side. He stares. “Wait. Are you?”
“That’s the other thing. Harry didn’t just leave me the coffee shop. He left me his money, too. A lot of it.”
“Are you telling us you’re a millionaire?” Lucy asks.
I shrug again. “I don’t want to get down to details, but yes.”
“How did he have so much money? If that’s not a completely inappropriate thing to ask.” Graham carefully uncovers his drink to take a sip.
“He was an aerospace engineer. With no family to spend it on and a few good investments in the eighties, it’s not hard to imagine it adding up.
” He mentioned once that he sold his house for a good deal when he left Seattle.
From the documents I received, the house alone was worth over two million dollars when he sold it.
“So you’re rich-rich,” Nathan says.
“Don’t look at me like that. It doesn’t change anything. I’ve barely spent any of it.”
Lucy gestures toward my cabin. “Obviously.”
“It’s not for that.”
“What do you think it’s for?” Luke asks. His gentle tone just about breaks me. So calm and rational.
“I don’t know.” I stand and stride over to the river like I might throw myself in. “I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t earn that money. I didn’t want the coffee shop, either, but I work there anyway, trying to live up to my friend’s last wishes. I can’t…”
I rake my hands through my hair, tugging on the ends as I pace. “I can’t be whatever he was trying to tell me to be. I’m a failure at the coffee shop. Spending his money would make me a fraud, too.”
“The coffee shop’s more successful than ever,” Lucy points out.
I shake my head. “That’s all Rose.”
I would have folded the first year without her.
“Have you ever thought that Harry meant it as a gift and not a cage?” Once again, Luke’s using his patient voice on me. I suppose I need it, tearing up the sparse grass out here with my boots like I am. “If a gift doesn’t fit you or is making you unhappy, it’s okay to let it go.”
“The offer’s from a chain. I looked it up. They just want the location. They’ll come in and rebrand, bringing in new people.” Probably firing Rose and Troy, too, which I can’t let happen. “We’ll lose our small-town appeal and become just another number to them.”
“So you do care about the community.” Luke’s smug look is entirely unwelcome right now.
“I’m not happy with everything Harry left me, but if I sell the coffee shop, I’ll make other people unhappy. And that’s worse.”
“You can just say her name.” Lucy’s got a similar grin going.
In fact, they’re all looking like I’ve made some big confession. All I did was say I don’t want to make people unhappy. Doesn’t feel like something to brag about, but they’re eating it up.
“One thing I’ve learned from reading romances is that there’s always a solution that will keep everyone satisfied in the end.” Lucy’s smirk is gone, but the too-knowing way she’s staring up at me is even more unsettling. “First, you have to figure out what would make you happy in this scenario.”
“I just said—”
“You’re focused on the wrong thing.” Graham narrows his eyes on me like I’m an experiment under one of his microscopes. “It’s not about the coffee shop. It’s about what you want for your life. Is that a job? Something more? If it’s something more, then what you actually do matters less.”
“Pretend you’re taking one of those quizzes they gave us in high school,” Nathan says. “What does your dream life look like?”
“This isn’t—”
Lucy scowls up at me. “Just do it.”
“I…” I gust out an aggrieved sigh, turning away from them and splaying my hands out. I wanted advice, not for my family to make me dissect my own heart with tiny scalpels.
The river flows, gurgling as it passes. Tall pine trees on the opposite bank sway gently in the breeze. Overhead, cottony clouds drift through a cornflower blue sky, a red-tailed hawk gliding along, searching for a meal.
“My dream life isn’t in the coffee shop,” I finally say. “It’s out here. It’s the same job I wanted from the beginning. Being a steward of the land. Conservation. Educating the public about the importance of protecting our forests. But…”
You can’t just walk into any park and become a ranger. I might have to go back to seasonal jobs first, and my options for full-time positions would be limited to what’s available in any given year. I most likely wouldn’t be anywhere near Sunshine. Maybe not even Oregon.
I turn to face them. “I don’t want to leave Rose.”
They’re watching me with a little too much twinkle in their eyes, but I guess that’s what I get for inviting them here.
“Hopefully we factored somewhere in that decision,” Nathan says.
“You didn’t.”
They laugh because they know it’s all bluster. I wouldn’t have asked them for advice if they weren’t important to me. But I’ve never had anything like what I feel for Rose. Walking away from that—from her—isn’t an option.
“That doesn’t resolve anything. I still haven’t figured out what to do.”
“Should have invited Jovie,” Nathan says. “I bet she’d give you great advice.”
I exhale a laugh. “Yeah. She’d tell me to marry Rose, give her the coffee shop, and teach the wilderness camp she wants to do next year instead.”
She’d probably have specific ideas about what to do with all of the cash, too.
Hold on.
They exchange glances, then gaze back at me. An idea takes shape out of my tangled thoughts. Pieces click together one by one until a clear vision forms. I could help everyone with Harry’s money and pass his mysterious investment on to the woman who loves it most.
A chuckle rumbles out of me. “Did Jovie just solve all my problems?”
“You just solved all your problems,” Lucy says. “By finally admitting what you wanted all along.”
“And we mean all along.” Nathan smirks even though he was one of the last to figure out my feelings for Rose.
“But Jovie will take credit if you give her a chance,” Luke adds.
“What are you going to do?” Graham, of course, wants a clear course of action. Just like I do.
“I should probably talk to Lila Irwin and Mayor Martinez.” I point at Graham and Lucy. “We’ll need to talk about some of my ideas, too.”
“And then?” Nathan’s grin is wider than the river.
“Then…I need to see the woman I’m crazy about.”